Tired of being "dissed" or "I'm mad as hell and I'm not going to take it anymore!"

I'm not the type of woman who sees sexism around every corner. I'm pretty realistic when it comes to women and work. I'm well aware that the choices that I have made mean that sacrifices in the area of career must be made. I don't subscribe to the belief that women can have it all; or maybe I should say that women can have it all, but it is impossible to do it all well. There are only 24 hours in a day and to give proper time and attention to being a wife, mother, employee, and healthy human being is simply impossible. Sacrifices have to be made. So back to being realistic; because I have never been willing to be half-assed while having it all, I put my education on the back burner while I had little children. It was the best decision ever because I would never trade those early years for anything. It was simply the most precious time of my life. Once they were in school I turned my attention back to getting my graduate degrees. I took things slowly so that I was always there to take my kids to school and to pick them up after school. I had time to take them to extracurricular activities and help with homework when needed. Again, I'm so glad that I made that choice. Finally, I completed my graduate education, my kids were grown enough to enable me to work. I felt like the luckiest woman on the face of the earth. I was given the opportunity to teach at a university and I had relatively happy and well adjusted children.

With all this being said, back to the sexism comment. I realized upon returning to the classroom that I was behind those who were much younger than me and that I would never be hired for a tenure track position. I was, and am at peace with this. However, as the years have ticked by (I returned to work in 2003) I've noticed certain attitudes directed toward me that I've chalked up to the fact that I have arrived at the party a little late and I figured that with time I would earn respect based on my job performance. My job performance has been very good. I receive consistently good student evaluations as well as peer reviews. I have been approached by several faculty members on the personnel committee and have been told how much they appreciate my contribution to the department. I think I've proven myself.

Every month the Introductory Psychology instructors get together (there are usually 5-6 of us depending on the semester) to discuss textbook choice, share teaching methods, and discuss where we want to take the course. I have always taught the most sections of the class; currently I teach 4 of the 7 sections being taught each semester. In other words, I teach the bulk of the courses. I have done this for several years now, therefore you'd think that my opinion or input would be taken seriously and treated with a little respect, but you'd be wrong. The push these last few meetings is to adopt a new teaching method called inter-teaching. One of the new instructors brought this method with him from his previous university and I've got to admit that it is an excellent alternative teaching method that truly engages students in the learning process. However, it requires the instructors to grade prep guides after the first class, determine where the weak areas are and then lecture on those weak areas the next time the class meets. Here's the problem. I have over 200 students. There is no way that I can grade 200 prep guides in a 48 hour period and I was also informed at the last meeting that this teacher who is using this method has a teaching assistant who grades his prep guides for one class of 60 students. Non-tenured faculty, meaning me, do not have access to teaching assistants. Since inter-teaching is not an option for me, simply because of the number of students that I have to teach each semester I began looking for an alternative method. I spent time speaking with my sister Lynnie who is a genius when it comes to this topic and we came up with a couple viable ideas. When I presented them at the meeting I was summarily dismissed. They immediately shot down the idea and said "That will never work." They did it in such an arrogant and disrespectful fashion that I can't help but wonder why. I felt so deflated. Here I am busting my butt to try to make things better and I received only a cursory hearing of what I thought was a highly viable option. The good news is that I don't have to have their approval to move forward with my ideas. I thought it would be respectful and professional to try to collaborate on alternative teaching methods with them, but clearly I was wrong. I think what makes me different from them is that they are either married with children (their wives are stay at home moms) or single with no prospects of marriage and no children. In other words, their work is their entire focus. I, on the other hand, juggle motherhood, work, and a husband. I don't have hours to contemplate the latest research in cognitive processing. I believe the fact that I have this rich life is what makes me a good teacher. I don't believe that they respect that fact. As I stated before, I've proven myself semester after semester. My evaluations demonstrate that I deserve a seat at the table and that my ideas deserve the same serious consideration that others receive, but I don't. The only explanation that makes any sense to me is that they don't take me serious because they see me as a mom who is playing college lecturer.

They can think whatever they want because ultimately I can create an alternative method on my own, just like I did for my abnormal psychology class. My students and I will be the better for it, and they can stick it where the sun doesn't shine.