Who doesn't love a great party?

My beautiful neice, Jenessa, was married last October. It was a beautiful wedding and her new husband is a peach. Rich is a hard worker, has been with her through thick and thin, and he clearly loves her. All the requisite qualities for a good husband. Soon after their wedding they got pregnant and she's due later this summer. They are the ones that I'm giving the baby shower for. Aren't they a cute couple?
I've known Jenessa since her birth. She's been an absolute joy to watch grow into an awesome young adult. She often babysat for my two younguns and she's always loved taking care of children. She's absolutely gahgah for her neice and nephew, so I know she's going to be a terrific mother. Such stellar people really deserve a great baby shower. It's not going to be the typical "women only" shower that has inane games such as who can diaper the doll fastest, or who can drain the baby bottle the fasted, or the standard how big around has the expectant mom gotten. This shower will be more like any other party, lots of food, lots of good conversation and drink, and hopefully loads and loads of presents for Jen and Rich's baby boy. I'm giving the shower with help from Jen's other two aunts, Jackie and Diane and of course my galpal Mona. Mona is no stranger to throwing large parties and thus far her advise has been invaluable. Thus far I've reserved tables, chairs, linens, and serving dishes from the party rental place and I've printed up all the invitations. Tomorrow I plan on getting them addressed and to the post office. Because there will probably be 50 - 60 guests I'll be having some of the food catered, which will really free us up a bit to focus on other details. I really want this to be a special day for Jen and Rich. Who doesn't love a great party?

The definition of insanity

I have a brown thumb...an extremely brown thumb. Every plant that I've ever attempted to plant, pot, and water ends up dead. Therefore, my decision this weekend to once again step into the world of gardening is the definition of insanity. The way I see it is that I have little choice. I'm going to be giving a rather large baby shower for my neice Jenessa and I have to make my backyard presentable. We recently put in a rather extensive back yard, including a large deck and pergola. The plan was to place large clay pots with vine plants at various locations around the pergola so that eventually the pergola would be covered with beautiful flowering vines. The useless landscaper who put in this extensive back yard filled the pots with rocky dirt from who knows where and planted the most horrid plants (we had asked for star jasmine). Apparently he has a brown thumb as well because two of the three that he planted died and don't even get me started on the rest of the back yard. Let's just say that during the winter our back yard looks like it was landscaped by Tim Burton (see Nightmare at Christmas to get a mental picture). We had to hire another landscaper to come in fix the work of the useless landscaper. Anyway, back to my gardening.

I found some wonderful smelling star jasmine at Lowes and I gathered together my supplies.
You can see by the shape that this trowel is in how often I dig into the soil!
Here's the first pot filled with soil from who knows where. There was one rock in there the size of a softball.

I bought "Moisture Control" potting mix because it said on the instructions that it makes watering easier by taking the guess work out of watering. I also liked the fact that it was a "Miracle Grow" brand. I figured I would be increasing my chances of success. I realize that I might be slightly delusional here.
The first step was to dig up the hard soil and embedded roots and get them outta there!
Once I finished getting rid of the bad soil I started adding the new potting mix and mixed it around with the old soil. I felt like I was stirring a big pot of soup.
Here's the bag full of old hard dirt and roots that I removed from the pot.
Here's the finished product. Not bad for a brown thumber such as myself.

Here's the star jasmine in its new pot positioned to grow up that post and make my back yard look and smell beautiful.
I also bought a few pots to plant various flowers and I placed them on my front porch. It's a mixture of impatiens, mums, and petunias.
This is my hydrangea that I asked our new gardner to put in and it just started flowering. I'm so excited because they look so pretty and I've always wanted a hydrangea.
Here's the second pot that I put on my front porch.
Here's a close up of my pretty bright pink hydrangeas. Our friend Brad told me that if I put a little aluminum foil in the soil that I can turn these to a blue color. I might just try it next year. Keep your fingers crossed that I don't kill these too.

Memorial Day

Today is Memorial Day, a day devoted to remembering those who have served and sacrificed for our freedom. I went to Target and was absolutely astounded by how busy it was. Now keep in mind I'm not throwing stones here as I WAS AT TARGET too. In fact, I feel slightly ashamed that other than a passing thought and I did have a passing thought, I didn't give any further effort to the purpose of this day. Speaking for myself, I think I tend to take the protection that these amazing men and woman provide us for granted. There are men and woman that are currently on their second and third tour of duty in Iraq and Afganistan. There are entire networks of people associated with these individuals who sacrifice as well. The wives, husbands, children, mothers, father, brothers and sisters that remain back home keeping the family going all the while worried about the safety of their loved one. My attempt to understand what they are going through is an intellectual exercise as I haven't had the experience of someone in my family serving during wartime. I am so grateful that there are service-minded individuals in our country who are willing to sacrifice a significant period of time to serve us all. So I want to take this opportunity to say thank-you to all who have served, who are currently serving, or who plan on serving in the future.

One hot day in May 1983

On May 22, 1983, Dan and I stood before an unknown preacher and Dan's Uncle Bob and took our vows of marriage. I don't remember much of that day, as I was in a virtual haze the entire time. The only thing I do remember is looking into Dan's eyes as I responded to the preacher's "repeat after me" directive. It was the strangest and most wonderful moment. I have heard those vows more times than I can count and I expected to recite them dutifully. But in the moment I was ovewhelmed by their meaning and the import of the moment. I meant every word, from the top of my head to the tips of my toes. I still do. In fact, I believe that I mean them more.

Gratitude given and received

A few days ago I wrote about the challenge of saying goodbye to my students each semester. Today I received this note, which certainly makes the letting go much easier.
The student who gave me this note is 30 year old man who lives and works locally. I have to admit that I have a preference for my students who have a little more life under their belts. They are there for the right reasons and they work very hard. What impressed me about this student was that he really had his priorities straight. He has experienced a lot of financial success in his life, however he believes that he has a greater purpose in life. He plans on getting his degree in psychology with the goal of attending graduate school so that he can be a counselor for adolescence struggling with their identity. Considering the challenges that he has faced and overcome, I believe that he will really make a difference. It is students like these that make my job so meaningful. While he thanks me for my "dedication," I have to say that I received far more from him than he will ever know.

May there be many more

Last night we enjoyed a wonderful night with our bestfriends, Mona and Greg, and Mary and Brad. We've known each other for over 20 years and whenever we get together we have the best time. Last night was no different. Mona and I see each other on a regular basis, however we only occasionally are able to spend time with Mary. We met at 6:30 at a restaurant downtown called Tres Hombres. Greg chose this restaurant because he overheard me saying the day before how much I wanted a margarita. Dan and I were the last to arrive because it took us a while to find a park downtown. Chico's downtown is notorious for a lack of parking. When we arrived Greg had already order a pitcher of margaritas for us, so after giving and receiving hugs all around, I had a margarita waiting for me.

Here are my girls. Mary is on the left and Mona is on the right. Aren't they pretty? They are the most genuine women I know. No bs coming from their mouths. I know that regardless of what problem I may be having, all I have to do is explain the problem and they let loose with their sage wisdom and I always feel better. They both have adult children and have experienced most of the parenting challenges that I now face with my teenagers.

Here I am with Mary and Mona. You may take note that they have such lovely smiles on their faces, what's wrong with Cindy? I don't look very happy. The truth is that I have facial paralysis on the right side and so it makes smiling difficult. So believe it or not, I'm really happy in this picture.

Here are our men. Greg, on the left is married to Mona. Brad in the center is married to Mary. Dan on the right is my guy. Brad is an endodontist and Greg owns a dental lab. We so enjoy watching these three together. However, there are times when we cringe at how loud and boisterous they get in public places.

After dinner, we walked around downtown and then decided to get some Italian gelato at a local sweets shoppe, called Powells. This sweet shoppe is fantastic. It is like stepping back in time. They have candies from when we were children, so we become very nostalgic as we recognize many of the candies that we can no longer purchase in regular stores. Dan bought a pound of his favorite Atomic Fireballs and we shared a small cup of java chip and peanut butter fudge gelato.

We then decided to go back to Greg and Mona's to continue the evening. As soon as we arrived, Greg wanted to show Dan and Brad the new Kybota that he got Mona for Mother's day. So he grabs a bottle of tequila (I realize that a bottle of tequila, these three men and a Kybota is not a smart combination) and the boys took off, while we stayed behind to talk. One hours passes, then two hours pass, and the boys haven't come back. Mary started to yawn, then I started to yawn, and then Mona started to yawn. All of us have at the back of our minds that bottle of tequila. It wouldn't be outside the realm of possibility that they could have gotten rip roaring drunk and rolled the new Kybota. It's 11 pm and there was still no sign of the guys. Mary and I both wanted to go home so we decided to go find them. We climbed into Mona's Suburban and started cruising the neighborhood in vain looking for the guys. Finally, we gave up and started heading back to the house. As we are driving back we begin to discuss various alternatives that would result in Mary and I going home and to bed, leaving Dan and Brad with alternative transporation home. Just as we arrive back at the house, we notice that the Kybota is back in the corral and the gate is closed. The guys have returned. My cell phone begins to ring. It's Dan. He says, "Where have you girls been? We've been waiting forever for you." What???!!! Hugs were given all around and we finally left Greg and Mona's at 11:30 pm.

Another wonderful evening with our favorite people had come to an end. May there be many more.

Abrupt endings and having to let go.

I've been teaching pretty much full time (even though my official designation is temporary part-time) since 2004. I average about 200 students every semester. So if you do the math that's close to 1600 students I've lectured, graded, and advised. What's my point? You'd think after saying hello and goodbye to that many students that I'd get better at it. But I'm not. Granted the bulk of those students I wouldn't recognize if I saw them on the street, but every semester there are a handful of students that I truly connect with. This semester has been unusual. The students have been more needy, a little more vulnerable. There have been times when I felt like I was back in private practice, counseling them on topics such as suicidal depression, non-existent self worth, loss of a parent, substance abuse, and abandonment. It is quite an honor to be trusted with such weighty issues. I have grown to care about these students as they have entrusted me with the intimate details of their lives and it is difficult to let go, knowing that for some I may never see them again, while others may only occasionally drop by my office to say hi. Bottom line is, things will never be the same. We come together for 16 weeks. We get to know each other, trust each other, share with each other, and then it's over. It is all rather jarring. One minute everyone is in the heat of tying up the loose ends of the semester and then suddenly it's all over. Everyone picks up and leaves. I have been able to keep in touch with a few of my past students, occasionally meeting one of them for lunch or I'll receive semi-regular email updates. Even though that is very nice, I have to admit that it just isn't the same.

Reality winding down

This week in reality TV has brought us a couple of finales (Survivor and The Bachelor) and a couple of finals (Dancing with the Stars and American Idol).

I was really surprised when Parvati took the million dollar prize on Survivor. I truly thought Amanda had it in the bag. However, I wouldn't exactly call Amanda a loser as she was a winner at love. She and Ozzy have continued to develop their relationship now that the show is over. It's a match made in survivalist heaven.

I was quite pleased when Matt, the bachelor from across the pond, got down on his knee and proposed to the blonde 22 year old daughter of Lorenzo Lamas, of Falcon Crest fame. It drives me crazy the way The Bachelor producers edit that show! They always try to fool you into believing that he'll pick one girl and then in the end he picks the other girl. This season was no different. My first impression was totally wrong regarding Shane, Matt's new fiance. I thought she was the typical blonde, high maintenance, totally superficial bimbo, but she turned out to be genuine, introspective, thoughtful, and sweet. It goes to show how wrong first impressions can really be.

On American Idol, Syesha was eliminated, leaving the two Davids to battle it out. I think everyone saw this coming from a mile away. Both are extremely good and both are deserving of the title. I'm not sure who I will vote for next week, but I think I'm leaning toward David Cook. When he performs it is as if he has been doing it professionally for years. However, every time David Archuletta sings my heart melts. He is such a humble and sweet young man, totally without guile, apparently in spite of his father's "stage parent" behavior.

I'm pretty indifferent regarding Dancing with the Stars. It's been a really yawner of a season. Kristy Yamaguchi is so much better than all the others, that it has never been a true contest. She'll win.

Basking in the diminishing glow of a wonderful weekend

This past weekend goes down as one of the better ones that I can remember. Between celebrating our anniversary and Sunday being Mother's Day, I felt very special the entire weekend. While the kids didn't get me cards or a present, they gave me something more valuable. They fixed me breakfast "in recliner," (I'm not one for lazing around in my bed), were so sweet the entire day, stepping in and doing various chores without my asking, and Chelsea wrote me a poem. I really felt loved this weekend. Then this morning happened. The reality of having to go to work, take the kids to school, and Chelsea was back to her "pleasant" morning self. Oh well, it was great while it lasted.

The reality of living with teenagers often clouds the memories of those precious younger years. I understand that it is a teenager's job to pull away from mom and dad and often the manner of that pulling away is to treat us like we are dumber than a box of rocks and beneath contempt. At some unconscious level, in order to feel "okay" about separating from mom and dad, they have to demonize us in some way. But I'm their mom. I remember those precious moments when I hung the moon for them. They used to really adore me, they really did! My favorite remembrance for both of them was the day they were born. The moment that they took their first breath I was transformed....for the better. They made me want to be the best person that I could be. Prior to their birth, either I was too lazy or I just didn't care enough about myself to make the changes I needed to make. Children are a great motivator.

Dan and I were married for nine years before we had Chelsea. We were very well established and ready to be parents. The day I peed on the stick and there was a plus sign there, I literally ran through the house, squealing at the top of my lungs. She was very wanted. The day that I went into labor was the day that my older sister Tere arrived to be here for the birth and to help after. We went out to lunch, came home and I laid down for a nap and shortly thereafter my water broke. Tere took me to the midwife to verify that my water had broken. The midwife sent me home because I didn't start contracting. She instructed that when the contractions started and got to the place where I could no longer joke and laugh, it would be time to go to the hospital. Somewhere around midnight I started having regular contractions, but they weren't too bad. So Dan and I stayed in bed monitoring my progress. Around 6 am the contractions started getting pretty intense, but Dan and I were still joking and laughing, but because of the frequency of the contractions we thought I should probably go to the hospital. We arrived at the hospital shortly before 7 am. By this time the contractions were becoming extremely intense and I strongly urged the nurses to get me settled in a room. They took us to my room, gave me a gown to change into, my girlfriend who is a nurse arrived, and as I was getting into the bed I had this sense that I should be checked NOW. Things were getting very, very intense. The nurses were not particularly concerned as most first time mothers are in labor for hours. I had only been contracting for a few hours, I must be over-reacting. They assured me that the midwife would be here soon and that she would check me when she arrived. By this time it wa close to 7:30 am and they applied the external monitor to my contracting belly. I started having this intense urge to push. I looked plantively at Dan and my girlfriend, trying to communicate the gravity of my situation. They urged the nurse to check me, which she did. Low and behold, Chelsea's head had started crowning and the nurse said to another nurse to check the ETA for the midwife. At that very moment, Camille the midwife came into the room, notes that Chelsea's heartrate is starting to slow down after each contraction, so they put an oxygen mask on me. There is no time for an epidural. She is coming. She's coming like an express train. The urge to push was overwhelming. The pain was mindnumbing. I wrapped my arms around Dan's waist as the contractions convulsed through my body, with each uncontrollable wave making me feel like I was losing my mind. Dan did what he could to comfort me, but my body had taken over and there were no conscious choices to be made. This was happening whether I liked it or not. So much for Lamaze class. Chelsea literally burst into this world at 7:40 am. Less than an hour after our arrival at the hospital she was born. Our precious daughter with a full head of black hair was in my arms and she was beautiful. They took her from me so they could assess her vitals, give her a Vitamin K shot, and put silver nitrate in her eyes. Then Dan was given the opportunity to give her her first bath. It was a truly lovely sight to witness. A brand new father, lovingly and tenderly, washing his little girl for the first time.

Two years and three days later, Cody was born. His birth was a more relaxed affair. My water didn't break this time. The contractions started in the middle of the night. My brother, his wife, and their four children had come up to be here for his birth. So, when the contractions started in the middle of the night, we didn't have to worry about Chelsea being looked after. We left for the hospital around 3 am. We were met by the midwife, where she advised me to start walking to move the labor along. I felt more in control this time. I actually was able to use Lamaze and I had decided to go without an epidural again. I labored until about 7 am while Dan and the midwife sat around talking politics, while I'm breathing deeply and hurting like hell. Barbara, the midwife, suggested that she break my water and told me that once she did, it was likely that Cody would be born very soon thereafter. So we decided to let her break my water. Immediately after she started applying warm compresses so that I wouldn't require an episiotomy. I will always love her for this. Again, at 7:40 Cody was born, with Dan by my side supporting and comforting me. He was a big baby, 9 lb. 3 oz. Unlike Chelsea, he was very bald, but just as beautiful as Chelsea. Again, after holding and nursing Cody, Dan was able to give his newborn son his first bath. The look on his face as he gently poored the sudsy water over his son's body, legs, and arms is a picture that I will have seared into my memory for as long as I live. I felt so good after Cody's birth that I ended up going home later that same day. I just wanted to be home with my two precious children so that we could start our lives together.

Survivor...another unbelievable blindside!

Last Thursday's episode of Survivor: Fans vs. Faves was unbelievable and so funny. What made it so highly enjoyable was this guy, Erik. His stated profession is ice cream scooper. Put it this way, he's not the most intellectual person in the group. Not only is he not intelligent, he also lacks the ability to make a decision and stick with it. He blows with every prevailing wind and the latest wind took him right out of the game. He is good however at winning immunity, which he did again this week. This put a wrench in the girls (Cherie, Amanda, Parvati, and Natalie) plans. Their plan was to have an all girl final four. Cherie, Parvati, and Amanda approached Natalie and proposed that she try to get Erik to give her his immunity. Of course, she said there was no way to do it. However, after a bit of discussion they came up with the plan of appealing to his guilt. You see, last week he turned on Amanda after she had saved his butt in a previous tribal council. The result of that betrayal was his alliance with Natalie. So, Natalie went to him and said that now that he had immunity she was sure to be the next to go, however if he were to give her his immunity, she would be saved and that she had struck a deal with Cherie that if Erik gave her his immunity that that would be a demonstration that he was trustworthy and that Cherie would then vote with Natalie and Erik to vote Amanda out. Initially he showed tremendous common sense and said, "no way." But, Natalie and Cherie played tag team and worked him and worked him. He started to waffle. During one of his interviews he even made a comment about how this game was showing him why he is only an ice cream scooper....Ya think Erik??!!

Then tribal council came and I've got to tell you that those women were masterful at saying things that telegraphed to Erik that he really should give his immunity to Natalie. For example, Cherie makes a comment about how in this game words don't mean anything. It's the ACTIONS of others that tells you whether or not you can trust them. Masterful, absolutely masterful. I wanted to reach into the TV and give her a big juicy one on the lips. Then the time came and Jeff Probst asked Erik if he wanted to keep his immunity or give it to someone else. There was a slight pause and then, and then, and then, HE GAVE NATALIE HIS IMMUNITY! I fell on the floor, the jury fell all over each other laughing, and the look on the women's faces was a mixture of astonishment and pride in a job well done. As Erik saw the reactions of everyone around him you could see a glimmer of realization that maybe he had made the wrong decision...I guess it is time to go back to asking "would you like one scoop or two?" As he is walking up to vote, you heard him say, "I hope this wasn't a bad move." Guess what Erik, this was the dumbest move in all of Survivor history. When Jeff read the votes, Erik was voted out. I have to say a very heartfelt thank you to Erik for providing Dan and I with a wonderful hour of entertaining TV.

Trace Adkins came to our 25th anniversary celebration....Really he did!

What a wonderful night Dan and I had celebrating our 25th anniversary. I had to work today, but I was so excited about going to the Trace Adkins concert when it came time to teach my third and final class today, I just couldn't do it. I just wanted to go. So I gave the students the option of learning the remaining part of the chapter on their own, or staying and having lecture. Of course, they chose the first option. I hurried to the high school to pick Chelsea up early from school. Cody was to go home with his friend Thomas. We arrived home and after a few last minute errands, we left at about 2:15 pm to make the drive to Clear Lake. The concert was held at the Konocti Resort in Kelseyville, but Dan found a couple of restaurants in Clear Lake and made reservations so that we could have a nice dinner before the concert. We had a wonderful drive, talking about our past experiences, with me occasionally covering my eyes and saying over and over, "I want to live" as Dan passed slower cars on the two lane highway.

Dan had made reservations at two restaurants. We checked out the first restaurant, which looked more like a coffee shop than a fine restaurant that takes reservations. So we drove on to find the second. The second restaurant was an old plaster covered tumble down building. We felt kind of stupid for having made reservations. I guess it's one more example of you really can't trust everything you research on line. Before going back to the first restaurant, we found a nice little park located on the lake and parked in the shade. We had plenty of time and we thought it would be nice to exchange our gifts there.


I went first. I gave Dan a really nice card and I wrote a love letter and placed it inside the card. I was nervous before he opened his gift because it felt strange giving him a portrait of myself. It felt kind of self serving, but he loved the portraits. I already wrote about the process of creating his gift in a previous blog. As soon as I get the pictures from my neice who took the pictures I'll post them in a future blog. Then it was Dan's turn to give me his gift. I already knew what it was going to be. He always told me that on our 25th anniversary he was going to give me a ring. He first gave me his cards. He couldn't make up his mind between two cards, so he got me both. They were both perfect. Than it was time to see the ring. When I opened the beautiful shiny wooden ring box I was overwhelmed by how beautiful the ring was. It was a 1.6 carot round diamond solitare with diamond baguettes (sp?) on either side, however in addition to the diamond baguettes there was a ruby baguette on one side and a sapphire baguette on the other. On our 15th anniversary Dan gave me an eternity band with diamonds that went all the way around the ring. This is unusual as traditional eternity bands just have diamonds that go partially around the ring. Anyway, he placed a sapphire and ruby in the eternity band to symbolize our son and daughter. So it was particularly meaningful to see the sapphires and rubies incorporated in the new ring.

Here's a blurry close up of the ring. I couldn't get a picture any clearer than this and it wasn't for a lack of trying. Isn't my blurry ring beautiful?!!!

Once we were through with the gift giving we decided to go back to the first restaurant, called Cabo. Even though it wasn't the most romantic ambience, it had really good food and more importantly it had really good margaritas. We had a waiter who every once in a while broke into song. It actually was rather nice. We had some more good conversation. And then it was time to head to the concert. We found the venue with no problem and found our way to our seats. We arrived at 6:15 pm and the concert was scheduled to begin at 6:45 pm. So we waited, and then we waited some more. We haven't gone to very many concerts, so we stupidly thought that it would start on time and we'd immediately see Trace Adkins. Of course, that wasn't the case. While we were waiting we struck up a conversation with the nice couple sitting in front of us. They happened to be from Redding. She took our picture. We got something to drink and we waited. Finally, this old fart in the most atrocious yellow blazer got up and started pointing out "VIP's" in the audience. These VIP's include a girl named Audrey who was celebrating her 10th birthday. I don't know about you, but I don't think that qualifies as a VIP. After the VIP acknowledgements he proceeded to run through the list of the sponsors including a local dentist, a car dealership, and a hay and feed store. He droned on for about 15 minutes. Then another band took the stage. I don't remember their name, in fact, I don't want to remember their name because they weren't very good. Poor Dan, who doesn't like country music, found himself sitting there listening to BAD country music, just so that I could see Trace Adkins in concert. That's my definition of romantic. While the crappy band played I stood in line to buy an overpriced Trace Adkins t-shirt that I plan to wear as a nightgown. I'm sure Dan will love me taking a picture of Trace Adkins to bed with us every night! Once the crappy band finished, there was more waiting as they readied the stage. The people sitting to my left were a father and his two daughters. The one daughter texted the entire time that she was there...even when Trace was performing. I don't get it. Why would someone prefer to stare at a tiny screen, pecking out clipped messages to another person who knows where?

Then it was time. Music started playing (very loudly). Lights started flashing and there he stood at the top of the stairs that were on stage. As he came down the stairs he started singing in that deep sexy voice and magic started happening. He started out with "I Got My Game On." Trace is that tiny speck just above the white ball cap. As he sang each song they played his music videos on a screen behind him. He also sang "Swing," "Arlington," which brought tears to our eyes, "Ladies Love Country Boys," "Chrome," "I Came Here to Live," "Dangerous Man," "I Wanna Feel Something," "Ride," "Every Light in the House is On," "Rough and Ready," and the fantastic "Honky Tonk Badonkadonk." In spite of how loud the music was, causing Dan to creatively fashion ear plugs out of cigarette filters, Dan said he absolutely love the music and it goes without saying how much I love it. We headed home to appropriately finish off our celebration of 25 years of marrige. I can hardly wait to see what the next 25 years bring.

No surprise that my predictions were right

It turns out that my predictions for American Idol were on target. Jason Castro is no more. If you saw his performance you know that this is no shocker. I just wanted to make it official that I was right because it's quite a rare experience for me.

Tomorrow is the day that Dan and I celebrate our 25th anniversay. Our actual anniversary is on May 22, but my sweetie was so wonderful to get tickets to a Trace Adkins concert. Trace Adkins is my all time favorite singer and Dan knew how much I would love to see him in person. By the way, that's another deep dark secrets being brought into the light. I love country music. It's not my fault. It's my sister Caralyn's fault. She introduced me to Lonestar and it's been downhill ever since. I used to make fun of people who liked country music. Now I'm one of those people. What're you going to do? I like what I like.

Where and when did it all go so wrong?

The typical drive to school for Chelsea and I consists of listening to Armstrong and Getty on KSTE in Sacramento. We listen to the boys because Chelsea does not like to talk. In fact, she barely grunts. Have I mentioned that she's about to turn 16? Hopefully this partially explains the following exchange. As I said we're listening to Armstrong and Getty. Joe Getty is relating a story about helping his teenage daughter with her math homework. He readily admits that he's ill equiped to actually help her with the math, but he is able to help her locate a resource that helps her with her math. The incident that leads me to my question went something like this:

Joe Getty: I may not have the smarts to actually help her with her math, but the wisdom that I've acquired through the years enabled me to help her find the resources she needed.

Jack Armstrong: That's so nice.

Joe: It really is. Since she's become a teenager there are fewer times that we are able to really connect with each other.

Chelsea (muttering under her breath): Thank God!

So you can see that I seem to have the same kind of relationship with my teenage daughter, that Joe Getty has with his teenage daughter. Isn't that lovely??!!!

His mess I have to bear

I work three days a week at the university. One of the "perks" I am provided with is an office. Now, this office is not a private office because I'm "temporary part-time" instead of tenured or tenure track. They get a private office. I do not. So, this means that I share my office with another person. I seem to change offices every year. This means I've had a couple of different office mates. My first office mate was Marc and he was terrific. In fact, we moved to three different offices together. You couldn't ask for a better office mate. I still miss him. However, he taught in the child development dept. and I taught in the psychology dept. so it was inevitable that we'd be forced to part ways. My next office mate was Debi. She was a good office mate as I never met her or saw her. In fact, I finally met her after we were no longer office mates. I don't miss her as it is difficult to miss something you never had. Which leads me to the purpose of this posting...my current office mate, Mitch. Mitch is a tenured professor, but he is retiring. Once a professor is on track for retirement, they have to share their office. I don't think Mitch was particularly happy to share. In fact, Mitch is a bit on the messy side. No let me amend that, he's A LOT on the messy side as you are about to see. His part of the office houses three, that is three desks, two filing cabinets, and two bookshelves. Therefore, he takes up about 2/3 of the entire office space, and his junk seriously encroaches at times on my 1/3.

This is Mitch's side of the office. As you can see he is a pig. He has piles of papers everywhere, including piles on the floor, both of the chairs, and stuffed in bookcases. How this man finds anything is a mystery to me.
This is his main messy desk.
This is his messy floor. See the boxes in the far right with the blue stripe that says copy paper. That is located directly behind my chair. This is part of his stuff encroaching on ME.

This is his second messy desk. See that tiny green cable that runs over the top of the pile of papers on the far right. This is my computer cable. In order for me to get online for work with my laptop, I have to crawl over the pile of papers and boxes on the floor, brace myself on top of the shifting pile of papers, and connect my internet cable into the receptacle in the wall. I say a little pray each time that I won't slip on the junk and sprain or bruise something. So far my prayers have been answer, but I don't want to get to cocky so close to the end of the semester.

This is my desk. See how neat and organized everything is? Also, note how little room is allotted to me. The good news is that this is Mitch's last semester and so my pain has a termination date. I only have two more weeks with this guy and then he's gone. Of course, I'll probably be gone too. Gone to yet another office. You see, they have to give a private office to the new, 26 year old woman they just hired for the new tenure track position. I'm so used to moving that I even have my own boxes that I use for each move. Actually it is more accurate to say I USED TO HAVE BOXES for my move. The schmuck stole my boxes!

American Idol prediction

We're down to the final four on American Idol. Here are the finalists:

David Arculeta sings like an angel and he's only 17 years old. You've got to love him!

David Cook is a rocker and I think he's my favorite. He also has had to deal with his brother's battle with cancer. I don't think his brother is winning the fight either.

I don't get Jason Castro. I don't like the way he sings. I have this uncontrollable urge to reach for my scissors everytime I see him. Don't you wonder what live creatures have taken up residence in his hair?!
Syesha Mercado is a songbird, but she doesn't exactly excite me. She's just okay.

Tonight one of these four will be eliminated. My money is on Jason Castro. I don't think you can call me psychic as he sang horribly last night. He first sang a Bob Marley song and totally butchered it and then he sang a Bob Dylan song and I hate anything having to do with Bob Dylan. I was secretly jumping for joy last night because maybe my wish for him to go away will finally be granted tonight. However, there are those boy crazy teenagers out there who have far too much time to keep hitting redial and stacking the deck in favor of Jason.

Here's my prediction. Jason Castro will be eliminated tonight. I predict that the two David's will be in the finals. I know, stop the presses. I've made this really "out on the limb" prediction....NOT. But I'm doing the best I can with what they gave me.

Numbers are beginning to dwindle

*If you aren't interested in reading reality tv show recaps, scroll to the bottom to read an important note.

It's been a while since I've talked about "my shows." Last night was The Bachelor reunion show. This is the show where they bring back all the rejected bachelorettes and interview them. Of course the bulk of the show includes video of the most controversial/embarrassing moments followed by questions directed toward the girl(s) involved. Then halfway through the show they bring the bachelor out to face the rejected girls and answer questions. I have to admit that I watch this show through my fingers. It is so uncomfortable and awkward and frequently throughout the show I'm heard to say, "Now is that really necessary?" The first embarrassing incident involved one of the girls taking her underwear off and placing them in Matt's (the bachelor) pocket. This is followed by video of interviews of various other girls stating their disgust and distain for this cheap behavior. Then it's time to ask the girl about her actions, where she, with a red face, states, "I'm not really like that. I had to do something to get his attention." Later, before the show ends, she stands up, holds up a pair of granny panties, walks over to Matt and presents him with them. Some people never learn. Then it's on to Robyn, the most hated girl in the house, where Chris, the host, proceeds to ask her about her low status in the house, where she attempts to explain why she was so unpopular, seeking to say things that build bridges between herself and the other girls. Of course, the other girls don't buy it, continue to profess their dislike, cut to commercial. Now it's time to interview Amanda, the last girl to be eliminated leaving us with the final two, Shane and Chelsea. Amanda is still miffed as to why Matt didn't give her a rose. I'm thinking that maybe the "fake parents" gag didn't go over as well as everyone is saying that it did. Or maybe it is because during their last date she said "like" over 30 times while she professed her love for him. Finally Matt comes out sporting newly cut hair. He came just shy of shaving his head. He announces that he's in love and that he is engaged. Now if you aren't a regular viewer of The Bachelor, this usually does not happen. We'll see whether or not it really lasts.

Last week on Survivor, I have to say it was one of the best "blind side" shows that I've ever seen. Everyone was gunning for Amanda. Amanda ended up being sent to Exile Island where a new immunity idol had been buried. She found it, sort of. The last clue told her where the idol was located back at camp. So, when she arrive back at camp, she told everyone that she didn't have the immunity idol, even going as far as emptying out all of her belongings onto the sand. She was very convincing. Later she pulled Parvati aside and told her that she knew where the idol was, but she needed her help to get it. Parvati agreed, kept them busy while Amanda started digging for the idol. While she's busy digging, everyone back at camp decided to vote Amanda out at tribal council. Parvati was very honest with everyone by telling them that Amanda has been her partner since the very beginning and she can't be disloyal to her. This stance didn't matter to the others because they didn't need her vote. Parvati and Amanda agree to write Alex's name down. If you don't know how the voting works this is what happens. The person whose name is written down the most is the person voted out. However, if a person has an immunity idol, Jeff Probst gives them the opportunity to play it prior to the tallying of the votes. If a person plays the idol, then when their name comes up in the vote, that vote doesn't count. Which means that the person whose name appears the most next is the one who gets voted off. Everything went according to plan. Everyone except Parvati and Amanda, wrote Amanda's name down. Jeff asks if anyone has the immunity idol and if they want to play it before the votes are read. There is a pregnant pause after which Amanda stands up, reaches into her bag, pulls out the idol and hands it to Jeff. There is a collective gasp among the tribe members, a huge smile on Parvati and Amanda's faces, and the jury is rolling over in laughter. Jeff states that any votes for Amanda will not count, which left 2 votes for Alex and Alex was voted out. It will be interesting to see what transpires next show once everyone arrives back at camp.

Finally, on a very different note. I follow several blogs faithfully. One of the blogs is Fat Cyclist. The focus of his blog is on his passion for cycling. However, he is dealing with a challenge that none of us ever wants to deal with. His wife, Susan, has received a diagnosis of inoperable brain cancer this past week. I'm sharing this because I want everyone to keep Elden and Susan in their prayers and you might, as I have, find that following his story will help keep life in perspective.

Future home sweet home

This past week I went to our 20 acres of property south of town and took pictures. We purchased this property back in 1998 and had planned on building there immediately, however I decided to go to graduate school and was accepted into a Ph.D program. Doctoral programs are very demanding and I couldn't see myself driving my children the extra distance that living out in the country would require, in addition to working and going to school. So we delayed our plans. We think that now is the time. So we've begun the process of getting the land ready for building. Thus far we've put in a road up to the house building site. We readied the house building site and drilled a well. We hit a major vein/pool/whatever you call it of water. The flow of water is so great that they call our well an agricultural well, which is supposed to be a good thing. Remember that I'm a city girl, so I'm taking their word for it that have an ag well is a good thing. Our most recent improvement is putting in a secondary building site for Dan's garages and a small guest house. We also created a road from the house building site to the secondary building site. As you look at the pictures, keep in mind that the weather is already quite warm and we haven't had rain for a few weeks, so the grasses are already turning from refreshing and cooling green, to dry, get me an iced drink immediately, brown. I do wish that I'd taken these pictures last month, but not much I can do about that now. So let's begin the tour.

This is the view driving up the road to our property. Our property is that hill you see in the upper right corner.

This is a view of our 20 acres from the road. It is at the corner of Cory Canyon Ranch. Our property includes a field at the bottom level. The first rise in the land is where our secondary building site it and the area beyond the first rise is where are house building site is.

Instead of turning right at the corner you saw in the previous picture, we drive straight to enter our property from the west. This is another view of the fields located at the base of our property. The top of the rise in this picture is the secondary building site.

In this picture, I've just entered our property via the west gate and if you can see the lone oak tree in the distance, that is were I took the picture at the corner where it said Cory Canyon Ranch. The boxes sitting out in the field are bee boxes. My brother in law Fred owns an apiary and he likes to occasionally store his bees on our property. This has not always been the best thing for Fred, as one time his son, Fred Jr. was smoking the bees out of their boxes and accidentally dropped the smoker into the grass, which started a bit of a fire, requiring the county fire department to come and put it out. I believe my nephew is still paying the five figure bill for that little accident.

This is a picture of our driveway heading into the house building site. Dean, our road and site builder, recently widened this drive and placed rocks on the side bank. I was told that these are placed there to prevent erosions. Again, I'm a city girl and I'm taking their word for it that this is what you do. It really is quite unattractive, so I think we're going to plant some ivy or something so that it looks green and inviting, instead of dirty, dry, and uninviting. Onward to the building site!

Here's the house building site. As you can see Dean still has some of his heavy equipment up there. On this day he was finishing up the road to the secondary building site and the secondary building site. He was laying down the gravel. See the pile of gravel in front of that big machine? That's my cute little blue BMW to the right of the picture. Dan got me that as a graduation gift. I just love it.

Here's the view of the coastal ranges from our house building site. It was a hazy day, so it is difficult to see the coastals clearly. But take my word for it, this is the best of all the views. We're thinking that this is where we are going to be placing our master bedroom, so this will be our view from there.

Here's the view of the valley from our house building site. This will be the view from our living room, den, kitchen. See that bit of gravel in the bottom left corner? That's our secondary building site.

This is our view of the foothills to the east of us. This will be the view from the kids rooms. The gravel you see at the bottom of the picture is part of the road that we just built that goes to the secondary building site.

This is the road we just build that takes us from the house building site to the secondary building site...isn't it pretty? The mound you see to the right of the picture is part of our house building pad.

Here's the secondary building site. The views are still pretty, but not nearly as pretty as from the house building site. This now concludes our first tour of our future home sweet home.

Frustration

I haven't posted for a few days because I'm having trouble figuring out how to post numerous pictures as once. I learned about photobucket from Chelsea, so I've uploaded all my pictures there, but I'm allowed to post only five pics at a time and when I try to post the next five they are inserted ahead of the first set of pics and then I can't move them around. So, after several different attempts and some fruitless research, I threw up my hands and gave up. That was last Thursday.

Tomorrow my boss and someone from the personnel committee visit my classroom for a classroom evaluation. I'm not particularly nervous about this as I'm a veteran of these classroom observations. My main concern is making sure that I've upped my game. I think I have. I've found some funny, yet very relevant video clips on youtube and have embedded them in my powerpoint. I think the students will really enjoy and my evaluators will too. I've also planned a class activity, along with a topic for class discussion. Overall, I think it will be an engaging and effective class.

Dan and I saw the Ben Stein documentary, Expelled: No Intelligence Allowed yesterday. It was excellent. It explores the topic of intelligent design and how those in academia are punitive of anyone who wishes to explore questions associated with intelligent design. The detractors of ID erroneously (I think) associate ID with creationism. There is a paranoia regarding any inkling of religion being allowed within the classroom. Scientists who desire the freedom of inquiry stay quiet, go along, if they want to maintain and further their careers. Stein talked to a half dozen scientists, with the most impeccable credentials, who have lost their jobs because they dared to mention ID in their research. It is hard to believe that our academic institutions in this country have allowed such frank bias to seep into their research, but they have. I know from personal experience that there are certain topics that just aren't allowed to be researched. It took me two years to assemble a graduate committee for my master's degree, because I kept coming up with topics that no one was willing to sign on to. Finally, I was able to come up with a "safe" topic and complete my thesis.