Frogs are Green, but I am Not

Today is Earth Day, as evidenced by the myriad of flags with a picture of the Earth silk screened on them hanging from every light post in my town. A necessary expenditure of our tax dollars I am sure!


Can I just say that this whole Green Movement makes my want to throw up. I was pushed to my limit yesterday as I was making a purchase at my favorite clothing store, or maybe I should say the only clothing store that sells my size and their clothes don't make my want to hide under my desk. As I was making my purchase the sales girl invited me to purchase their new Green bag so that I wouldn't use their plastic bags. She even added the incentive that if I purchased the bag, that they would plant a tree or save a dolphin, or stand in front of an indigenous person trying to club a harp seal or give me 5 carbon credits. I wasn't paying that close attention, because my blood pressure was quickly rising and I needed to pay attention to my body to see if I was going to suffer a stroke. I politely declined, but I guess that wasn't acceptable. She continued to push. She said, "you know you really will be helping the environment if you use our Green bag instead of our plastic bags." I felt the bile now rising up into my throat...now I've got bile and an impending stroke to deal with! My reply was, "I don't really think my using your plastic bag will have that great of an impact on the environment so no thanks." Again, this was not a sufficient reply on my part. She quickly added, "Oh I know it helps, I haven't used a plastic bag in six years." I said, "well good for you, but I don't want one of your Green bags. By the way, what's the store's profit margin on your Green bag?" She didn't particularly like this question I assume because all I got in response was an eye roll. To which I further added, "you do realize that your store wouldn't be selling these Green bags if it didn't help their bottom line? That this Green retail movement is just a scam to increase profits?" Again, no reply. She simply handed me my purchases in my plastic bag, holding it as if it were a dirty diaper. I would have loved to debate the finer points of the issue, such as, asking her for measurable evidence that her lack of use of plastic bags had helped the environment, but what would be the use. There seems to be an incredible lack of questioning when it comes to the Green issue. I'll just say that I'm Green and somehow that will make me a better person and give me the right to be condescending, rude, and downright obnoxious to anyone who doesn't "get with the program." Don't get me wrong. I'm not against making profits, in fact, I'm all for making profits. What I rail against is the dishonesty behind the profit making. We've got Chicken Little saying "the sky is falling" for the sole purpose of selling a bill of goods based on faulty data in order to make a profit. I find that morally reprehensible.

I'm sick of such vacuous logic that this sales girl was pedaling and I'm willing to say that "The Emperor has no clothes."