From There to Here

Napa Day 1

2009-10-31T18:17:00.000-07:00

The long awaited day finally arrived and it was time to get in the car and drive the hour and a half to the Sacramento airport. Last night I downloaded some new music onto my iPod and fell in love with a "new to me" artist, Jason Mraz. I car danced the whole way down. When I was about 2 miles from the airport my cell phone rang and it was my little sister Lynnie telling me that they had arrived. I was surprised to find out that there plane had arrived early and they already had their luggage. I drove up to the terminal and there they were. We hugged, loaded up the car and were on our way to Napa and the Silverado Spa and Resort. We checked in and made our way to our room, or should I say apartment. I was delighted to find out that our "room" was located in a gated community and we had our own portico garage. We parked the car and opened the door to our 2 bedroom suite.

Lynnie and I will be sharing the beautiful king size bed and she promises me that she won't be snoring. We also found that we had a fully appointed kitchen.

We also have a dining room and living room with television, private porch which overlooks a pool with our own lawnchairs.

You can see the slider and the lawn chairs on the other side of the windows.

After settling in, we headed out to find somewhere to have lunch. We headed north to Yountville and found the most quaint downtown area with loads of wonderful restaurants. We chose to eat at Hurley's. Tere and Lynnie ordered a salmon chowder and decided to split the most heavenly version of "grilled cheese." When I heard what they were ordering I decided I wanted an order just for myself.

When the waiter brought our order I was so taken with our order that I had to take a picture of it to remember for all times. It was the best grilled cheese sandwich that I've ever had. I also had my favorite margarita. We ate outside where the temperature was perfect with a light breeze and just enough sunshine. It felt like we were eating in a postcard. Once done with lunch we headed back to the resort, checked in with the concierge where we booked dinner in St. Helena at an italian restaurant and made arrangements to rent bikes tomorrow morning. It was then time to go to our spa appointments. I had a full body massage while Tere and Lynnie had head, neck, and shoulder massage. We then met up and together had our pedicure. This was the first time I ever had a pedicure where I could talk to the girl doing my pedicure. This pedicure included a parafin wax, which was delicious. By the time we left the spa we were thoroughly relaxed and it was time to head back to our suite and relax until it is time for dinner.

More on our wonderful adventures in wine country later...

Anticipation

2009-10-28T15:12:00.000-07:00

The day is fast approaching when I will be getting in the car, driving to the Sacramento airport and picking up my two sisters for a long weekend at a spa right in the heart of wine country. What could be better? However, I've got a pile of work to wade through before I get there. I have to tell you that envisioning the "spa experience" really does lead to a "whistle while you work" experience. Even thought 94 students have turned in 20 page midterms, which take 30 minutes to grade each, I'm feeling light-hearted and giddy. I will not even begin to put a dent in those mid-terms, but this planned escape enables my denial mechanism and I've got to say that I'm grateful for it.

Boot Camp

2009-10-25T13:28:00.000-07:00

Yesterday my tea party girlfriends, Ronda and Cindy and Cindy's husband Loren, attended the Central Valley Tea Party's boot camp in Fresno. We all left Chico on Friday late morning and arrived at about 4 pm at our hotel in Fresno. Thankfully Loren and Cindy arrived before us and scouted out the rooms and found them wanting and were able to secure three rooms that turned out to be quite nice.

We decided to enjoy "happy hour" at the hotel bar before heading over to the dining room for a very nice dinner. I had my favorite margarita and then order chicken alfredo for dinner. The three of them have a great sense of humor and we spent most of the evening talking and laughing. We headed off to bed at about 8:30 pm and agreed to meet at 7 am for breakfast. We ate breakfast again at the hotel restaurant and then headed off to the Fresno Fairgrounds for the bootcamp.

We arrived in plenty of time, found terrific seats in the front and watched with amazement at how many people were in attendance (approx. 500). This tea party group really has their act together. I can't remember the last time that I attended an event that went so smoothly. They had muffins, coffee, and juice waiting for us upon arrival. They had multitudes of brown bag lunches prepared, the most beautiful grapes, and sodas for lunch. The efficiency with which they served attendees was amazing and the thought occurred that if we put these people in charge of our government we might actually get things done!

The first session addressed how to become an effective activist including how to make impactful protest signs, how to speak to the press, and becoming a community organizer. If you can't beat 'em, imitate 'em. The second session focused more on becoming organized and taught us how to research precincts and mount an effective campaign. We then broke for lunch where we were able to meet other tea party members. The best news was that we found out that the problems that we were having within our group was happening in other groups as well and that our group seems to be right on track. Ronda was asked to talk to the TV station that was there covering the event and she did a bang up job.

After lunch we returned to a session on healthcare. The woman who did the presentation was so impressive. She is an RN and has worked in numerous areas of the healthcare industry. She also has served on the board of a hospital and is currently the owner of a home healthcare agencies. This gal really did her research and I learned a lot about where our tax dollars are being spent in medicare/medi-cal and the way in which healthcare is being administered via our tax dollars, including the various regulations that are driving up costs. We video taped this session and will be posting it to our tea party website. For the last session of the day, Tom McClintock spoke and as always made a whole lot of sense, squewering both parties regarding the Cap and Trade legislation. The day was finished off by the State and National co-ordinator for Tea Party Patriots, Mark Meckler making a big announce regarding our next project. It's a big one. Sort of a David and Golaith project, but the enthusiasm in the room shows that we are ready and able to take on Golaith.

On the drive home we all agreed that the day was well worth the 4 1/2 hour drive and the day away from family. We're really energized and ready to start putting into action what we learned.

I didn't want to bore you

2009-10-16T17:24:00.000-07:00

My sister Lynnie called me today and commented that I haven't been posting on my blog. I gave her a rather long winded answer that came down to my life is boring and I don't want to inflict that boredom on the family. What's so boring? Dealing with the issues that tend to come up when working with a group. Let's just say that our tea party group is going through growing pains. Because I'm part of the core leadership group, I've been having to navigate the waters of disagreement combined with burnout. The point of disagreement centers around the direction of the group. There are some who wish to dump the "non-partisan" designation and begin endorsing candidates from one party. I feel very strongly that the group must remain "non-partisan." Thank goodness the bulk of leadership shares this committment. I believe that both parties have contributed to our current mess and I am interested in changing the paradigm, more specifically I'm interested in putting the principles on which this country was founded first and putting the agenda of parties last. That's all I'm going to bore you with. The good news is we have finalized our committment to non-partisanship and are moving forward vetting candidates based on our core values of constitutionally limited government, free markets, and fiscal responsibility.

Next weekend I will be going to Fresno to attend a bootcamp to learn how to be a butt-kicking activist. I'm not going alone. I'm going with a couple of my tea party girlfriends. We hope to be able to learn some valuable tools that will make us more effective as a group in the future. While I'm not all that excited about going to Fresno, I am excited to meet new people, make new connections, learn new skills, and get to know my new friends better.

Then the weekend after next I'll be getting together with my two sisters for a weekend at a spa resort in Napa. I can't tell you how much I'm anticipating this get together with my sisters. It is long over due and I have never indulged myself by going to a spa resort. I plan on treating myself with a full body massage and a mani/pedicure. Then, of course, there is the opportunity to wine taste, eat great food, and spend quality time with my two sisters.

Gone but not forgotten

2009-10-02T17:33:00.001-07:00

I've been persona non grata because I've been working my tuckas off getting caught up with my backlog of grading that resulted from my prolonged sickness. The good news is that I'm beginning to feel like my old self. The bad news is that I got my first paycheck since the pay cut. Yikes, I'm going to miss that $300 every month! It is a bit discouraging as I've been working so much and then to receive less money for all this work...it just feels so wrong. That's it for my complaining as my gratitude for having a job far outreaches my irritation at the lessened compensation. The other good news that came from my being sick is that it really jump started my weight loss efforts. I have lost a total of 40 pounds thus far. It feels so good to go into a regular clothing store, instead of the plus size store to buy clothes. The freedom that comes with knowing that I can go into most stores, find something on the rack that fits, is simply wonderful.

Broken Record

2009-09-20T16:08:00.000-07:00

I hate to sound like a broken record, but I've been sick all week. I finally broke down on Wed. and went to the doctor. He told me I have bronchitis and placed me on antibiotics. While the antibiotics have helped with my lung congestion, I have fought nausea and vomiting all week. I couldn't cancel classes as Friday was a scheduled furlough day and I couldn't afford missing any classes. On Thursday, during Principles of Psychology I had to excuse myself mid-class, run to my office (because the downstairs bathrooms are closed for remodeling), and in the nick of time grab my trash can (which has a plastic liner) and emptied the contents of my stomach. I returned to class, a little shaky, but continued on with the class. I know this sounds hardcore, but I have little choice in the matter. I know that my inability to cancel classes due to illness has contributed to how long it is taking me to recover from this horrid virus. Today is Sunday and I'm grateful that I have now turned a corner (knock on wood) and am beginning to feel more like myself. Just in time for a full week of classes. I pray that I don't have any further relapses as I think I've more than paid my dues!

Getting Through

2009-09-12T14:48:00.000-07:00

This past week has been all about just "getting through." The virus that I wrote about in my last posting is still with me. The coughing and fatigue are what have taken hold. I can deal with coughing, but feeling like there is no fuel in my tank is what is difficult. But it is not enough that I'm still under the weather, I had to go and get braces on my teeth this past Tuesday. I had braces years ago for 3 1/2 years and I hated every minute of it! Now the braces are back because to quote my orthodontist (who has been treating my TMJ) "your mouth is a mess." He said the only way to correct the TMJ problem is to put the braces on. He told me I would have to wear them for a year, but that was before he took impressions and made the "your mouth is a mess" comment. I'm thinking they are going to be on for more than that. The good news was that he only placed them on my upper teeth as he needs to "open up my bite" before he can put the lower braces on. It hurts enough getting used to just the uppers so I'm grateful that I'm not having to deal with soreness on the inside of my bottom lip. I hope the next time I post here, I'll be talking about something other than being sick or having a sore inner upper lip.

Sickness in the House

2009-09-05T08:58:00.000-07:00

Last weekend Cody began to complain that he had a sore throat, congestion, headache, bodyaches and fever. He clearly wasn't feeling well. He missed school on Monday and I prayed that I wouldn't get it. I simply do not have the luxury of cancelling classses due to sickness. We've already had to cancel two weeks of classes because of furloughs and there simply is no more room in the schedule for sickness. I made it all the way to Wednesday afternoon before I began to feel a heaviness in my upper chest. I immediately knew that "something" not good was coming my way. By Thursday morning I had bodyaches and fever and chills, but I drugged up and got myself to work. Thursdays are my shortest day as I only teach 2 classes and am done by 11:30. Happily I made it through my work day, but I was beginning to feel much worse. I took more drugs, went to bed early and prayed that the worst was over.

After a very rough night of chills and fever, headache, coughing, and body aches I knew that I wasn't going to be able to make my first two classes. I thought I might be feeling better to teach my 1 pm class. I went downstairs to call in and inform the dept. office that I needed to cancel my morning classes and was greeted by a voicemail message that the office was closed for a furlough day. Oh great! How am I going to cancel classes when no one is there to put the notice up on the classroom door? There were no instructions on the voicemail message on how to handle my circumstances. So, I sent a frantic email to my boss and thank God he has OCD tendencies just like me! He answered me within 2 minutes (he's always on line, just like me) and kindly offered to post a notification on my classroom door. The chair of the dept. is willing to do clerical duties to help one of his teachers out, simply wonderful. I couldn't ask for a better boss. He is so kind and helpful. I hope he's the chair for as long as I'm there because he simply is the best. No ego at all!

Back to bed and then I hear Dan starting to cough, that same hacking cough that I started to have 24 hours earlier and I know, he's starting down the same path. I was also very grateful that morning that Chelsea was able to drive herself and Cody to school and I didn't have to drag my virus ridden body out of bed to take them. At noon, I drugged myself up and got my virus ridden body into the car and made it to work and taught my Abnormal Psychology class. It was rough, but I couldn't cancel class as we start group work in one week and we didn't have a single class to waste in preparation.

I'm feeling better this morning. I'm still mucus filled, but the bodyaches are gone along with the chills and fever. I believe I'm well on my way to wellness, but poor Dan is where I was yesterday. He's drugged up now and soundly asleep. Chelsea thus far has made it through healthy, with no signs of viral invasion. I hope she will be able to escape this one because it is nasty.

A Full Plate

2009-08-30T09:09:00.000-07:00

This last week was overwhelming in so many ways.

Classes began at Chico State. I knew that the classes were going to be impacted because so many classes had been cancelled and the number of emails requesting to add my classes were more than I've ever received in the past. But nothing prepared me for the onslaught. I had waiting lists for every one of my classes. One waiting list was 12 people long. Students were showing up at my office hours (which never happens the first week) to request to add. A line formed down the hall. Each student had their own special sob story which was accompanied with various version of doe or puppy dog eyes. It was heart wrenching.
Because of the press from students to add classes, along with the usual anonymous dropping of classes, my head was in a constant state of confusion. How many students were in each class and how many openings were available kept changing hour by hour, which made giving students any kind of concrete answer virtually impossible. By Thursday I was no less clear on the status of my class rosters than I was on Monday.
In addition to dealing with the stressors at work, Chelsea was scheduled to take her driving test on Thursday. This event took on far more personal import than I ever could have imagined. It was so not about whether or not she would pass. It was about my child taking one more step toward independence and away from me. I had difficulty sleeping. I didn't know if I wanted her to pass or to fail. Of course, this was a purely selfish dilema. I did want her to pass, to experience the joy of success, but the selfish side of me wanted to hold her closer and failing would ensure that she would be tied to me just a little while longer. I wished that anyone but me would take her for her test. I feared that my nerves would some how affect her and get in the way of her doing well. But, she insisted that I be the one to take her, so I bucked up and did.
She passed. I knew before she came back into the DMV. She chose to park the car after her test right in front of the window that I was sitting by. I looked out, saw her look nervously and expectantly at the driving evaluator, and then I saw it...she threw both of her hands up, smiled bigger than I've ever seen, and let lose with a scream of joy (I couldn't hear it but I could see it). She came bounding, yes bounding into the DMV, stumbled over a poor woman who was between us and gave me the biggest hug and told me the news. I was so proud of her. I'm so glad that I didn't miss that moment.
Amid the stress at work, I received an email from the person who headed my dissertation committee. He edited the first Encylopedia of Creativity and apparently he is editing the 2nd edition now. He requested that I write the chapter on Creativity and Therapy. I had to read the email several times to make sure I was reading what I thought I was reading. Out of all the creativity researchers out there he wanted me to write the chapter? Wasn't there anyone else out there with a little more gravitas to ask? So, I emailed him and thanked him for the opportunity and accepted. In his return email he told me that he and Art Bohart, a man who I respect greatly in the field of counseling techniques (he was also on my dissertation committee) were planning on co-authoring a book on Creativity and Therapy and they wanted me to write a chapter for that as well. I was thrilled and honored. Now that I've accepted I have to dust off my dissertation and get to writing.
I was supposed to attend the March in Sacramento on Friday, however by the time the end of the week approached I felt so wrung out that the thought of being on a bus for most of the day, standing in the hot sun, and interacting with others was too much. Priorities have to be set. I had loads of work to do, plus class rosters to sort out, and kids who had things that needed attending to, so I chose not to go. I'm so glad I did. I was able to sort everything out and after school was able to take Chelsea to buy her first wallet (now that she has a license she's got to have a place to keep it) and went to the bank and opened up a checking and savings account. I thought it was important for her to start learning how to manage money now rather than waiting until she heads off to college. Yet another step toward independence. I've got to say that she really is rising to the occasion and I'm extremely proud of her.

While it was a full and stressful week, I find myself reflecting back with much gratitude. Every challenge had its object lesson. I learned a lot about myself this week. I found strength that I didn't know that I had. I was humbled beyond words. I was honored by visits from past students who wished to stay in contact. I have a great job that affords me the opportunity to interact and sometimes impact others. I have great children who have goals and who do not shrink away from obstacles and challenges that may get in their way as they move toward achieving their goals. They make me happy and proud.

Our Town Hall Meeting

2009-08-22T16:21:00.000-07:00

Last Wednesday I decided to attend the congressional town hall meeting for our area. The location had been changed three times because public interest in attending the town hall was so great that they had to continue to look for a venue large enough to accommadate all who wanted to attend. The final location was the Neighborhood Church which is the largest church in Chico. It seats approximately 1500. Upon arrival I was surprised to see how many were waiting to get into the church. I parked my car and headed to the end of the line.
The line snakes around the perimeter of the church and I think this picture captures the number of people waiting to get in. The line moved quickly and as we approached the entrance we were greeted by numerous signs by those who are in favor of universal healthcare. The ACLU was there in force, grumpy faced and "patrolling" like they had any significant function there at all. About 90% of the people there were ordinary citizens who are highly interested in this issue. The other 10% were your garden variety picketers. Everyone behaved themselves, as I knew they would, so my declining the ACLU's offer to speak to our group about conducting ourselves respectfully was validated.

Our seat was fairly close to the stage. The entire church was filled and it was standing room only. Congressman Herger spoke for about 20 minutes about his views on healthcare and the remaining hour and 10 minutes was devoted to questions from the audience. More than half of the questions were from those in support of healthcare even though 3/4 of the audience were not supportive of government run healthcare. There was occasional jeering from the audience, mostly from the pro-healthcare contingent. All in all I was impressed with the event. I think it is safe to say that the electorate is no longer apathetic. We do care and we are communicating that with our attendance at events such as this. Our level of care will be loudly demonstrated this coming Friday, 8/28. There is going to be a very big march in Sacramento at the capitol. They are expecting anywhere from 50,000 - 100,000 people. We are protesting AB32, which is California's version of Cap and Trade. We've chartered a bus, which is sold out and I'm still fielding emails from people who want to go. We are considering chartering another bus. The Redding group has chartered a bus and that bus is full as well. There are busloads of people coming up from San Diego and Los Angeles. I'm taking one of my furlough days in order to be there. This is the biggest event that I've taken part in and I'm looking forward to the experience. I'll take lots of pictures and post them.

Hardball Has Begun

2009-08-18T08:40:00.000-07:00

Wow, I'm am learning by the minute how naive I am regarding the world of politics. In the past 24 hours I've personally felt the sting of hate coming from those who are attacking tea partiers. Because my name figures prominently on our tea party groups social networking website, I've received an email from the ACLU and one of the opinion writers for our local paper has targeted our group and the accusations of racism, violence, and affiliation with the Republican Party have begun. As I scrolled through the comments in response to the op ed piece the hair on the back of my neck stood on end. The hatred was palpable. The email I received from the local ACLU asked to come and talk to our group prior to our congressman's town hall meeting and the stated purpose for this meeting was to ensure that we don't behave violently. WHAT? We have held three events thus far and our behavior has been exemplary. Most of the day and even as I type this I feel a low grade nausea. The hate that these people spew toward those of us who have chosen to voice our views is overwhelming. You have to ask yourself, why? Why are these people making personal attacks rather than entering into a reasoned discourse? Are these just random people who like to spend their time reading political postings and venting their anger and hatred or are these committed ideologues who's sole intent is to squash the opposition? I don't know, but it is not comfortable being in the cross hairs. My gut is telling me it is the later as these attacks are not only coming from the left, they are also coming from the right. It's a game. Both parties want to protect whatever power that they have. They don't care about what's best for this country. They care about what is best for their party.

I immediately went to our tea party website and removed my picture and created a phantom account that I will post events in the future to lessen the possibility of future contact with those who want to intimidate us. While I'm not willing to back down on my activist efforts, I'm learning that caution is needed. These people are serious and will do just about anything to shut us down. The lies just keep on coming and there is little that we can do to counter them other than document for ourselves what goes on at these events and use the internet to get an accurate portrayal of our actions out there. The fact that so many Americans are saying enough with both parties scares these people and they are playing hardball to shut us up. I pray that they don't win, because if they do, we all lose.

The Grind Begins

2009-08-14T18:16:00.000-07:00

Wednesday was the first day of school for the kids. It just seems wrong to send the kids off to school on Aug. 12th. Anything prior to Labor Day seems too soon to me, but I'm a law abiding citizen so I insisted that they go to school.

Amazingingly when I asked them if I could take their "first day of school" picture, they both agreed. Chelsea, of course, had a precondition which I will share in just a second.
It's hard to believe that Cody is a sophomore and Chelsea is now a junior. It is beginning to feel a bit like a countdown. A countdown to their leaving home and beginning their adult lives. I try not to think about that too often. I simply banish it from my thoughts, but it does creep in every now and then, like when I remember that on Aug. 27th Chelsea will be taking her driving test for her driver's license and I will no longer be driving my kids to and from school. While I'll celebrate the lessened demand on my schedule, I'll miss the time together each morning and afternoon.

Now for the precondtion. Chelsea said I could take her picture if I didn't show her picture in my blog. I believe that I've stayed within the spirit of our agreement with the following picture...

See, you can't tell who it is in this picture. I could have googled images for a young headless woman and this is what I found. I could have!

I've been busy setting up my websites for my classes. While I've felt very pressured because of the short time I have until classes begin, I remind myself how fortunate I am to have a full schedule. They have posted the schedule and there are a couple of people who's names are sadly missing and many names who have less than their usual load. I recognize that I could have just as easily been given a smaller load, but was not.

On a political note, our tea party organization is growing and strategizing for the 2010 election, in addition to keeping the pressure on healthcare and cap and trade. It is very frustrating and sad to see our efforts dismissed and denegrated by this administration and most of the press. This movement is real, comprised of people just like me, who have stayed passive for all of their political lives and for the first time ever we are engaged and active. One really good thing that is coming out of all of this is that I have never seen a more non-apathetic citizenry. Our local congressman has had to change the venue for his town hall meeting twice to accommodate the number of people who wish to attend. I, along with many of my fellow tea partiers, will be at the meeting next Wed. I'm taking my video camera and may have some footage to post. It is important that we document for ourselves the reasonable, yet passionate, questions that are being asked of our representatives, while the press cherry picks the most emotional questioners and spins the footage as examples of the "angry mob." The internet is proving to be our best solution to this problem as we have the ability to show what is really going on at these town hall meetings by posting our own videos.

Good News

2009-08-11T17:56:00.000-07:00

I have a job. This morning I still hadn't heard anything. Out of frustration I called the department office. When one of the wonderful secretaries answered the phone, I said, "I'm sure you've been getting a lot of calls about this, but do you know anything about the schedule?" Her immediate reply was that she would get my boss on the phone. I nervously waited until I heard his kind voice, "Cindy?" He didn't sound like he had something bad to relay to me. So, I immediately relaxed. I asked, "I know how busy you must be dealing with this mess, but is there anything you can tell me about the schedule?" He told me that he has been prevented by the provost to communicate with any of his lecturers until one final issue is dealt with, however, since I called him, he could tell me that I was going to be assigned the schedule that I had before they took all lecturers off the schedule. He then proceeded to tell me that when making my syllabi that I had to build into it 9 days of NO CLASS (the furlough days the union voted for). This is in addition to Labor Day, Veteran's Day, and Thanksgiving Break. That's a lot of missed classes! This means that I'm going to have to pare down all my powerpoints and lecture notes to accommodate this change and I have to do this in 12 days. I guess I'll be a little busy, but I am incredibly grateful as my boss told me that he's had to make a few calls telling people that they are not needed. My thoughts go out to those people.

We're Making Progress

2009-08-07T17:35:00.000-07:00

Because I have no work to do right now because I STILL DON'T KNOW IF I HAVE A JOB (I'm taking a deep breath and recentering myself) I've been able to fill my time with my activist work. After a bit of a upheaval in the leadership structure of our tea party group, we've regrouped and have brought together a group of kick ass people (I humbly include myself in this group). I volunteered to get the website up and running. I crossed my fingers and began clicking away and before I knew it I had the website up and running. I'm very proud and pleased with how it is turning out. Here's the link: http://chicoteaparty.ning.com/. Go check it out. There are some pretty impressive videos of the town halls around the country. The number of people who are showing up at these town hall meetings is far greater than is being presented in the press. While these people often show a great deal of passion, they are no where close the to "manufactured angry mobs who spew hate" that they are being portrayed as by the media and the administration.

The next big event for our local tea party group is a nationwide protest on August 28th in Sacramento at the State Capitol. They are projecting between 50,000 - 100,000 people will participate. The focus of the march is on AB32 which is California's version of Cap and Trade which was passed 3 years ago, but is coming into effect now. The effects of this bill on agriculture, mining, transportation, commercial trucking, and the timber industry is devastating. We will also be protesting the cut off of access to water to farmers in central and northern California by a federal judge in order to protect a fish (minnow). The lack of water flow is causing hundreds of thousands of acreage to become fallow. In some central California towns the unemployment rate has reached 48%. Our tea party group is chartering a bus. I'm impressed that we have enough people who want to participate that we will fill a bus. Even more amazing is that we are considering chartering a second bus if we continue to get the positive response that we are getting. We really are starting to have an impact. We may be scoffed at, disparaged, and dismissed by those who disagree with us, but we are a sleeping giant that has awakened from a very long sleep. We've lots of energy, are highly motivated, and very talented. We will be victorious. Check out the following audio video of a song put out by a European rock group with libertarian leanings. Europe is ahead of us politically regarding this socialist issue and they are getting a clue and beginnning to say no more. Here's the link for the audio: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G1viGgpwSY0&eurl=http://stereogum.com/archives/album_art/new-muse-uprising_082681.html&feature=player_embedded

Left Hanging

2009-08-01T07:24:00.000-07:00

I still don't know if I have a job or not! They have only had the past two months to figure all of this out and they still can't say which classes are cancelled and which lecturers will or will not return. The fall semester starts in 3 weeks. I've spoken with other lecturers and none of us are willing to do any class prep knowing that the work may never be compensated. One girlfriend has a new text and even if she were to know today that she would be teaching next semester, she doesn't have enough time to prepare using the new text. Bottom line...government run ANYTHING leads to mediocre (at best) results. My frustration knows no bounds!

It Always Good to Come Home

2009-07-26T09:21:00.000-07:00

We arrived home on Friday at about 6:30 pm. It took us 11 1/2 hours to drive from Kennewick, Washington to Chico. It was wonderful to pull into our driveway and see Chelsea running out of the house to view the new car for the first time. I promptly reminded her that this is the new "family" car. Her look at me told me that she knew I wasn't kinding anyone with that one. This car is hers in every practical sense, as I'm not going to be driving it and neither is Dan. She was tickled with it and asked if we could go driving the next day.

I finally found out the result of the union vote. The vote was to determine whether or not members were willing to take a pay cut in order to save jobs. Gratefully, 54% of the members chose to vote FOR the pay cut, thereby making the likelihood of my unemployment less likely. I won't know for sure until next week, but signs are definitely looking better.

Mom did a great job looking after the kids. She had dinner ready for us upon our arrival home. I know she didn't really know that we would be arriving then, but she quickly started serving us the dinner she had prepared, which was very sweet.

The End of a Wonderful Vacation

2009-07-23T21:38:00.000-07:00

After our amazing drive on Tuesday, we felt like all of our expectations for this vacation had been met and that from here on out, any further great experiences would be icing on the cake. Tuesday night we spent in Bozeman, Montana. Upon arising we found a great little breakfast place before embarking on our drive west. I have to tell you that the area around Bozeman and points west of there have got to be my favorite spot on the planet right now. I could easily see myself spending more time there. The people were so nice and I don't know who was in charge of designing the buildings in town, but it seemed like there was a "grand plan," as all the buildings seemed to fit so well with the mountain setting. We stopped for gas around 11:30 am and after finishing filling up the tank, Dan said, "I think we should call Bob and Cathy (Dan's cousins) and see if they are still in Anaconda, Montana." They manufacture and sell decorative shirts at craft shows all across the country. They had finished up a show in Anaconda, which was only 30 minutes from our present location. Bob told Dan that they had planned on leaving for their next show in Washington State on Wednesday. Dan thought we might catch them before they left.

Dan dialed Bob's cell phone and as luck would have it, they had just finished packing up and were about to leave. They agreed to postpone their leaving until we could get there and suggested we meet for lunch. So we made the 30 minute drive and found them easily as the town is so small that you can miss it if you sneeze. We had a quick lunch and briefly caught up on each others lives. We always love seeing Bob and Cathy. Before we went our separate ways we shared and took pictures.

What a wonderful opportunity to happen upon family and include them in our vacation.

From Anaconda, we continued our trek west and north. Our plan was to get to the gateway of Glacier National Park. Because we ate out for lunch, we decided to pull over by this beautiful lake and eat our left over sandwiches from Subway.

When we arrived in Columbia Falls, our "final" destination, we found out very quickly that motels are booked months in advance. Who knew that Glacier National Park would be such a hot spot. Dan was able to convince the woman at the first motel to call a couple of motels to see if they had any rooms available. Dan was able to locate a motel about 4 miles up the road in Hungry Horse, Montana. We made the quick trip and were immediately concerned as we pulled into the motel. The lady who greeted us was the sweetest person, but when she showed us the room I knew that I couldn't stay in the room. To say it was below standard (and our standards are not that high) is an understatement. I made the excuse that I had to have internet access so that I could find out whether or not I still had a job. She immediately got on the phone to a friend who owns a Motel 6 (I told you are standards are not that high) in Kallispell, located 30 minutes west of Hungry Horse. We were able to reserve a room. We profusely thanked the nice lady and retraced our steps back to Kallispell.

Our plan today was to drive through Glacier National Park and then started heading south for home. We entered the park, paid the $25 entrance fee, and joined the throngs of people who apparently had the same plans for the day. Going was pretty slow as the line of cars could only go as fast as the lead car, but we didn't mind because views were beautiful. About 20 miles into the park and as we are zig-zagging up the side of the mountain, we come to a complete stop. It is like a parking lot. We sat and sat for about 15 minutes and there was no indication that we would be moving. Dan and I looked at each other knowing that we still had 30 miles of road ahead of us before we would get through the park. We did the math and we simply could not afford an entire day in the park and still arrive back home when we planned. So, we turned the car around and headed the 20 miles out of the park. It really was a shame as we really did want to experience the park, but the crowds were just too great. If you've ever been to Yellowstone, you can appreciate the size of the crowds at Glacier Park, as they matched the crowds at Yellowstone.

The remainder of the day was devoted to covering as much territory as we possibly could as Dan wants to get home by Friday night. We made it through the panhandle of Idaho, enjoying the beautiful views that Idaho has to offer. We were able to finish the book that we started at the beginning of the trip, Tsar by Ted Bell. I highly recommend this book. It is suspenseful, romantic, terrifying, and informative. We arrived in Kennewick, Washington at about 9 pm and were able to find a motel easily. Kennewick is about 1 1/2 hours below Spokane. We plan on getting up early tomorrow morning and drive until we arrive home. It will be a long day, but once we get the smell of home in our noses, we're much like a barn sour horse.

The Top of the World

2009-07-21T21:01:00.000-07:00

After leaving Colorado, we were able to make it all the way to Cody, Wyoming by nightfall. I didn't take any pictures of Wyoming yesterday as there really wasn't anything we saw that was picture worthy. We chose to go to Cody, Wyoming because the last time we came to Wyoming we came with Chelsea and Cody and had a terrific time. We wanted to revisit a place that we had such fun with the kids. Upon our arrival, we quickly found a motel and headed for the Mexican restaurant that we went to years before with the kids. We had very good memories of our meal there, so we were sure that we would have a similar experience this time.

The name of the restaurant is Viva La Comida and it has tables located outside in front of the restaurant which enables customers to watch the traffic cruising up and down Main Street. Believe it or not, Cody is quite a happening town. It is a haven for motorcyclists and the night air is constantly pierced with the thundering sounds of Harley's. We both ordered margaritas and began taking in the nightlife of Cody. When dinner arrived we were disappointed to see that the quality of the food was not as we remembered it, but it was still lovely to sit outside and enjoy the goings on.

The next morning we arose early and I asked Dan to take me to the restaurant that served the best huevos rancheros that I've ever tasted. I've dreamed of these huevos, I've told anyone who would listen how great these huevos are, and now I had a chance to have them again. I noticed that I began to salivate well before our arrival at the restaurant. With great anticipation we entered the restaurant and were immediately seated. The waitress handed us our menus and I almost said, "don't bother because I already know what I want." But I didn't. Instead I looked on the menu, seeking to find the long awaited dish. First read through I didn't see them. Second read through I didn't see them. Third read through my heart began to sink. I said, "Dan I don't see the huevos on the menu!" He carefully looked over the menu and they were not there. They no longer include huevos rancheros on the menu. I figured that it is just as well. Considering our disappointing meal last night, maybe it is better to simply remember the best huevos ever, rather than experience the disappointment of yet another subpar meal.

Once breakfast was history we set out for Montana. We headed north out of Cody and began climbing the moutain range. Little did we know that we were going to experience one of the most beautiful drives of our lives! We decided that we would stop at all of the scenic turnoffs and read all of the historical signs. The first turnoff yielded us the following gorgeous view.

As we got out the car, we noticed a group of people bending down and holding their hands out to "something." As we walked closer we saw these tiny chipmunks eating out of people's hands. Dan ran back to the car to get our bag of sunflower seeds and bent down to see if the chipmunks would eat out of his hand.

The little creature did not hesitate for a single second. He even placed his little paws on Dan's fingers. There was no fear whatsoever.

We got back in the car and began our slow climb up the mountains. Each ascent up the mountain would end with a beautiful plateau, followed by yet another ascent.

Our next scentic turnoff provided us with the beauty of this roaring river and waterfall.

Another couple was nice enough to take our picture...together!

Just to give a sense of the size of this waterfall, about 1/4 of the way down this picture you will see a man on a rock taking a picture. He is dwarfed by the massive rocks.

This is the view of the river and waterfall as we walked up the tiny path to our car.

Here are more of the amazing vistas that we enjoyed on our drive to Montana.

Wyoming definitely went out with a bang rather than a wimper! Finally our continual climb up the mountain range reached its apex and we were greeted with this awe inspiring view.

You can see that there is still snow on the ground on the far left of this picture. It was quite windy and chilly up on top of the world. By the way, that is not my designation. There is a sign that says it is the top of the world.

A very nice couple from Georgia offered to take our pictures together and we immediately accepted. Even though this spot is called the top of the world, we continued to ascend for several more miles before we started our descent into Montana. Our first stop was Red Lodge, where we stopped for a sandwich at Subway's. We then headed out for Bozeman where we found a motel for the night. Dan and I agree that the drive from Cody, Wyoming to Red Lodge, Montana has to be one of the most beautiful drives in the world.

Colorado Adventures

2009-07-21T05:48:00.000-07:00

We spent our first night in Cortez, Colorado. Upon checking into our motel, the desk clerk told Dan about the nearby National Park, Mesa Verde. The brochure she handed him sounded instantly like something that we would want to check out. So, after breakfast we took off for Mesa Verde. It was a quick 15 minute drive.

Upon driving up to the booth at the entrance of the park, we were greeted by a nice looking female park ranger. The sign stated that the charge for entrance into the park was $15 per car. As Dan was reaching for his wallet the park ranger told us that today entrance into the park was free. The conversation went something like this:

Park Ranger: Welcome to Mesa Verde. Today entrance into the park is free. This free admittance is made possible by the stimulus bill.

Me: The stimulus bill? How does giving us free entrance into the park stimulate the economy?

Park Ranger: Well, they have told me to tell you that providing free entrance into the park will provide those who can't usually afford to come to the park the opportunity to see the park.

Me: How does this create jobs?

Park Ranger (with a mischevious smile): Madam, as long as I'm dressed in this uniform, I can only say what they tell me to say. I am not free to tell you what I really think about this plan, but you are free to interpret my statement any way that you want.

Thus began our trip into the Mesa Verde National Park. Mesa Verde is known for the cliff dwellings built by Anasazi Indians. We drove approximately 15 miles into the heart of the park where we found this first set of cave dwellings.
Here is our first glimpse of the cave dwellings as we began the 12 minute hike down the hill. The hike involved zig-zagging down a very steep grade. We wondered how well we would far the walk back up as we passed panting and sweating vacationers who were making the trip back up the hill.

The cave dwellings were absolutely amazing up close.

We weren't allowed to actually walk into the dwellings as they were chained off. You can see the black soot that remains to this day from the fires.

They did, however, allow us to climb down into the undergrown Kivas. The wood ladder is seen the the right foregrounds. Kivas were used during the bitter cold winter months by the tribe to cope with the cold. The park ranger told us that the entire tribe would congregate down in this kivas. The space is really quite small and I have a hard time imagining an entire tribe hanging out in such small corners.

You can see this person is coming down the ladder, thus entering the kiva.

After our climb down into the kiva, Dan being Dan started a long conversation with the park ranger. Because I know how long these conversations can take, I chose to continue to explore the cave dwellings and took some of the following pictures.

The park ranger told us that this cave goes back as far as 60 feet in some places.

I loved the ordered demonstrated in these rock pads for grinding grain.

I took this picture on the far end of the cave dwellings to show the entire area of the settlement. That's Dan in the red shirt, still talking to the ranger.

Once we saw all that we wanted to, it was time to begin the trek back up the hill. I'm standing on the walkway below Dan and you can see the next walkway above Dan's head, thus showing the zig-zagging path, as well as the steep grade of the path. I have to admit that we had to stop several times to catch our breath. The altitude really made catching our breath quite difficult.

Here's another view from above of the cliff dwellings we had just visited.

I think I still look okay after the difficult trek up the hill. No worse the wear.

We got back in the car and were able to spot other cave dwellings throughout the park.

Once we finished up with our trip through Mesa Verde about 2 pm, it was time to head north. We ended up in Leadville, Colorado at the end of the day. Leadville is about 45 minutes south of Vail, Colorado.

We woke up very early the next morning as we had the most uncomfortable bed and we simply couldn't bear trying to sleep anymore in them. We left about 6 am, which is very early for us. We decided to drive to the town of Avon, which is right next to Vail, for breakfast. We found a Denny's, ate a quick breakfast and were back on the road.

Vail is such a beautiful area and you can smell the money in the air. One of the reasons that we are taking this trip is to look for property that we may purchase for use once we retire. Vail would be a beautiful place to spend one's retirement years, but it is clear that you have to have considerable resources to be able to buy property there.

About 1/2 hour outside of Vail, we came upon Lizard's Head Pass. We simply had to pull over to capture this beauty with a picture. Just as we pulled up, we saw a single drop of water hit our windshield. It was about 2 inches in diameter. We looked around to see from whence the water drop came from. Nothing, we could see the source. I roll down the window to begin to take a photo and a second big drop of water hits the windshield. I click this picture and the we see a third big drop of water. Now we're really curious. Where are these drops of water coming from? We open the moon roof on the car and just as we do we see a big flash of lightening, which is immediately followed by a downpour. I've never seen raindrops this big! I captured the following video of the thunder and rain. The "storm" lasted about 5 minutes and then it was over and the sun came out.

Next stop is Wyoming.

It Sure is Hot in Phoenix!

2009-07-18T20:58:00.001-07:00

My day began at 1:30 am as I couldn't get back to sleep for fear of oversleeping and missing our flight. Oh by the way, today is the day that we began our vacation. First stop was Phoenix, Arizona to pick up our new "family" car. We were picked up by AJ, one of the nicest and most knowledgeable used car salesmen that we've had the pleasure of working with, and believe me if you know us at all we've dealt with many used car salesmen. Upon collecting our bags, we walked out to the curb and waited about 2 minutes and there he was. We made the quick trip to the dealership and within an hour of landing we were on the road. Here's our new family car.

As you can see it is a claret red 2003 Honda CRV. We were so pleased that the car in reality lived up to all the pictures provided on line. The inside is extremely immaculate

It also has one of the most important requirements. Lots of good cup holders. I should have taken pictures of them, but I'm sure that soon I'll be including a picture of those as well. We grabbed a quick bite to eat at Taco Bell, filled the car up with gas and hit the road.

First stop was Flagstaff. What a beautiful mountain town it is. We pulled over upon leaving town to take a quick picture of each of us with our new ride.

Before leaving Phoenix, we stopped at Fry's (similar to Raley's) and picked up two styrofoam coolers, a couple of bags of ice, some beverages and snacks.

We like to be able to continually hydrate without stopping all the time. It works for us.

We decided not to go through Monument Valley as we've driven through there numerous times and wanted to get to Cortez, Colorado to spend the night. Even though we chose not to make that wondrous drive, we still had the opportunity to see some amazing rock formations. This one reminded us of a crowd of people. I took this from the car driving 70 mph. Not too bad. We're staying the night at the Econolodge. I'm dead tired and look forward to catching up on my lost sleep from last night. More later from the road.

Oriented to Place and Time

2009-07-10T20:16:00.000-07:00

I had to check with Dan today regarding what day it is. I was correct when I told him I thought it was Friday. I didn't win anything for having the correct answer other than the satisfaction of knowing that I'm still oriented to time. This is what happens when I'm not working and I don't have an event, like the Fourth of July, to help me keep track of time. I don't want to do any class prep until I know for sure if I'll be back next semester. The union is voting this next week on whether or not to accept a 2 day per month furlough, which translates to a 9.5% pay decrease. Amazingly the union didn't advise which way to vote. They said that this was too personal an issue for them to say one way or another. The other two unions involved on campus have already voted in favor of the furlough plan. So, I have to assume that our vote will probably go the same way, which is good for me, as this will mean less layoffs and because I'm full time, I'm further up the layoff food chain.

Dan is busy online looking for a new family car. We need this car so that Chelsea can drive herself and Cody to school next year. We're looking at Honda CRX's. We plan on buying the car somewhere west of the Mississippi, fly there, and then drive the car back by way of Colorado, Wyoming, and Montana. This will be our vacation. The kids opted out, so my mom will be staying with the kids while we're gone.

I've lost 22 pounds. I'm having a hard time believing this fact as I still have a rather large tire around my waist, but that's what the scales told me this morning. I have noticed that my butt is getting flat, which is very strange as I've always had a lot of junk in my trunk. In fact, my large rear end has always been the bain of my existence, so for it to disappear in this unexpected fashion is quite disconcerting.

Tying Up Loose Ends From July 4th

2009-07-06T08:43:00.001-07:00

I said in my last posting that I regretted that I didn't have a picture of Cynthia Van Auken, Kasey Cowen, and Nancy Henry. Matt Miller was kind enough to pass on these photos. Sorry Nancy, but I still don't have a picture of you!
Here's Cynthia, our fearless leader. If it hadn't been for her efforts organizing the original tea party rally on April 15th, we wouldn't be where we are today. Ed Vallerga said to me in an email yesterday that for those of us that were at the first organizing meeting on May 5th, it is highly evident the growth and strides that our fledging group have made since that day and he is right. Only those who have been there from the very beginning can truly appreciate how far we have come and it all began with Cynthia. Cynthia is a veteran to the world of politics. Before moving to Chico to be close to her children she was a politically active resident of Atlanta, Georgia. She ran for congress against Cynthia McKinney, who by the way is sitting in an Israeli prison right now. She was arrested for running an Israeli naval blockade. The ship she was in was providing supplies to the Palestinians. Forgive me for that ADHD movement. What I'm trying to say is that Cynthia is experienced in the ways of the political world and it is helpful to have that kind of resource available to a developing group.

Kasey Cowan is in the white shorts and dark head visor. She is talking with Dan Logue, our State Assemblyman. Just to remind you, she was the one to work on logo development, t-shirts (which turned out to be a major source of fund-raising), and setting up our website.

Matt took this picture at the Elk's lodge parking lot prior to our cruise. He was able to capture more of the numbers assembled, but it is still an incomplete representation of our numbers for the cruise.

At the end of the day, Matt was able to finally take a picture of our booth. Ed Vallerga and Jim Fiack worked the booth to the very end.

But, remember, this is what our booth area looked like for the entire day!

Even though press coverage was practically non-existent, one intrepid reporter from the Chico Enterprise Record (our local paper) wrote the following article. I was impressed because she actually reported the events of the day as they actually happened without editorializing or trying to minimize or disparage our efforts. I believe that Stacey Kennelly, the author, of this article was a former student of mine. I sent her an email thanking her for actually being a journalist. Here's the link to the article: http://www.chicoer.com/news/ci_12756138

July 4th Tea Party Cruise and Rally

2009-07-05T11:07:00.000-07:00

On April 15, 2009, a tea party was held in the Downtown Plaza. I snuck away from work for about 45 minutes to stand in the plaza to show my support of the tea party movement. The MC of the event was a nice woman who stated that she had the position by default, as the person who was supposed to MC for the day was unable to do so. I did not know that woman's name, neither did I remember seeing her anywhere around town. Little did I know that I would, not only learn her name, but become quite involved with her and others like her. Her name is Cynthia Van Auken. I don't remember how, but I managed to find out who was responsible for the planning and implementation of the tea party on April 15th and that person was Cynthia. I sent her an email letting her know that I was interested in helping in any way that I could. I received a prompt reply, with a meeting date and time, May 5, 2009. Dan and I had been invited to a Cinco de Mayo party, but immediately cancelled those plans in order to attend the tea party organization meeting. While some may think it rude to back out at the last minute on a previous committment, we felt it was more important to focus on fixing the mess our country is in then to celebrate a Mexican holiday by drinking margaritas (and I love margaritas!).

We arrived a few minutes late to that first meeting. Believe it or not Dan and I got lost. Cynthia was already speaking. We tried to cause as little disruption as possible as we found our seats. There were about 25 people in attendance at that meeting. Most of them have continued to come to meetings, but some have fallen away. But that evening meeting gave birth to a new movement here in Chico and yesterday, July 4th, was the fruition of a little more than 2 months of planning and working. I had an inkling that our day would be successful when a few of us decided to support our fellow tea partiers in Oroville, by attending their event on Friday. We were all surprised when we drove up and saw the numbers in attendance. We grabbed our hats and signs and joined the ranks of people lining the streets with their signs. It was so heartening to hear the almost non-stop honking of cars that were passing by. Three elected representatives showed up. State assemblyman Dan Logue, Tom McClintock, and Doug LaMalfa all said their piece, each voicing the same values of Tea Party Patriots. This enthusiastic outcome in Oroville gave us all hope that our event would be successful as well, but there are always doubts.

As I've stated in prior posts, I was in charge of the booth at Bidwell Park. I'm unsure of how I came to be awarded this responsibility, but I know that I didn't want to let anyone down. The booth in the park was not the only event of the day. A cruise around town with decorated cars was the event to kick off the day. Before we could participate in the cruise we had to set up our booth. Because we were so busy getting the booth set up, no one had time to take pictures, so I have none to share with you, but I can say that my heart was warm when I saw how many people showed up to help. Dan and I were met by Cynthia Van Auken, Ed Vallerga, Nancy Henry and her granddaughter Cora, Matt Miller and his girlfriend Kasey (sorry I don't know your last name). We had the Surburban and BMW emptied before you could whistle the Star Spangled Banner and the tent and tables were up with equal speed. I believe we had everything set up within 20 minutes.

It was time to head over to the Elk's Lodge which was a rallying point. Again, we were shocked when we drove into the parking lot! There were so many cars there and they were all decorated, which meant they were there for our event. I'd estimate about 40 cars, maybe more and each car had multiple occupants.

Here's Matt decorating his truck with a great sign and his girlfriend Kasey is the beautiful woman on the left who is cut off on the left side of the picture. The gentleman in the hawaiian shirt is BK Brooks, and I don't know the name of the nice lady in the foreground.

I decorated my car with three signs. The signs said, "Cap Taxes and Trade Politicians" "Government Stay Out of my Healthcare" and "I'll Keep My Guns and Money, You Can Keep Your Change." I affixed the signs with magnets as we were told that we were going to drive at funeral procession speed and therefore the signs should stay on.

Then it was time to go over the route, unfortunately Dan chose to talk through these instructions which meant that we didn't hear the route (the route was changed at the last minute because of construction in the area). Unfortunately, no maps were passed around, which proved to be the downfall of the cruise.

While waiting to get started we tried to get to know as many people as possible. This is Dudley, he literally join our group on meetup.com that morning. He brought his beautiful red Harley, decorated with streamers.

Here's Celia and Dean King who have been constant participants and supporters of our group.

The gentleman standing and talking to the people in the car is Jack Lee, the organizer of the cruise. This is a classic car that really added a little something extra to the cruise.

I thought they were the cutest couple on this scooter/motorcycle. I failed to get their name, but I did express my gratitude for their coming and joining us.

Let's call the cruise a learning experience. First of all, I understood funeral procession speed to be about 10-15 mph. The leaders of the procession took off going about 25 mph, which resulted in our signs immediately being ripped off my car. We had to pull over and retrieve the signs off the street. By the time we got back into the procession, most of the people ahead of us were no where to be found. The small group we found ourselves with had to drive an average of 35 mph and we never located the rest of the cruise. We had no idea what the route was, so we blazed our own trail, but we were driving so fast it made it impossible for us to display our signs most of the time. Finally I told Dan that we should just head over to the CARD center, our second rallying point and wait for the cruise to come to us. It turned out to be a good idea because there were tea partiers waiting there who weren't participating in the cruise but wanted to participate in the march into the park. Unfortunately I didn't have enough presence of mind to take pictures. By the time the cruise people started arriving we had approximately 20 - 25 waiting. Not all of the cruisers made it to the second rally area. I think many probably felt frustrated and headed home. Jack Lee never showed up. We waited until 10 am, but could wait no longer for stragglers.

Matt Miller, Dan and another gentleman assembled our banner. That's Matt in the middle. If we could bottle his enthusiasm, knowledge of the issues, and his common sense and give it away, our country would be back on track in no time. Matt is an important person to this movement. He's an idea man, but he's not all idea and no action. He's a doer as well. This day came to be in no small part to his efforts!

Here's a partial picture of our group participating in the march. That's me on the right holding the banner. I don't know how I got so lucky to hold the banner, but I held it with pride!

Then we started marching. That's Cynthia Van Auken in the middle holding the banner and again, I don't know the gentleman's name who held the other end of the banner.

Dan tried to capture pictures that showed the number of people in our march, but unfortunately these pictures fall short.

I was grateful for every person who got up out of the seats and chose to make their voices heard at this march.

We marched into Bidwell Park across the creek and into the area where the booths were located and the free speech area. I took the banner over to the booth where we mounted it at the back of the booth.

Here's Dan and I standing in front of the banner and you can see our core values printed on the side of the banner. It's a lovely and colorful banner. I think it was money well spent. We all wore the national Tea Party Patriots red t-shirts so that we, as a group would be easily identified and noticed.

Upon arriving at the booth, we were informed that from the time we left the booth and until our arrival they had been bombarded with people interested in our group. We were dumbfounded and tickled all at once. We stayed busy throughout the day. More on that in a minute.

Our U.S. Congressman Wally Herger and State Assemblyman Dan Logue were both speakers in the Free Speech area. My friend Ronda turned to me and said, "Let's go get them and bring them to our booth." I was game so Ronda and I set off to find them. We quickly found Assemblyman Logue. He immediately recognized us from the Oroville rally and said he would be glad to meet us at our booth. We then found Mr. Herger and he greeted us warmly and happily with a warm hand shake and said he had planned on coming to our booth anyway. So we escorted him back to our booth. We had a very nice opportunity to visit with him and share what is on our hearts regarding our country. We told him that we would be visiting his office on July 17th for a mini-tea party regarding healthcare legislation. He was so pleased as he really needs to feel the support of his constituents on this issue.

Dan and his friend Brad (peeking his head out between Dan and Mr. Herger's heads) stood and visited for about 30 minutes with Rep. Herger. He gratiously agreed to take his picture with each of us. In the background to the right is State Assemblyman Dan Logue. He assures me that he is going to hold strong to not raising taxes more to deal with California's budget crisis. I told him that I didn't care if it meant that I lost my job (which is a real possibility). We simply MUST get this state's budget and spending under control. He hugged me and said that we need teachers such as myself in the university system and he appreciated my willingness to sacrifice for the greater good.

Here I am with Rep. Herger. He's the salt of the earth kind of person, but I made clear to him that we are watching and he will have our support as long as his votes hold true to our core values, but if he strays he will see our support dissolve quickly.

I chose this picture to show that our group is comprised of young people, and not just a bunch of old disgruntled farts. We also think this young woman is quite artistic.

The following pictures show the constant activity at our booth through the day. Our booth is the tan colored tent. You can't really see what our booth looks like because people were in front of it all day. We were passing out free pocket constitutions, information on our group, contact information for all elected officials, and handouts on the pressing legislation of the day.

I had a lovely conversation with the Asian gentleman in the sunglasses. He's a former teacher and so he had a lot to say about our broken educational system.

You can sort of, kind of, see our booth in this picture, but the people just kept on coming! It was so validating to see the support we received. Just to show the difference in activity between our booth and the other booths, we couldn't resist taking the following two pictures.

This is the booth for the ACLU. Their booth looked this way all day. I felt bad for them because, in spite of their tent, they were in the sun all day long. Actually I didn't feel bad for them, because they are a horrid organization who have done far more harm to this country then good, so I say let the sun shine on them.

Here's the demoncratic booth. The guy in green is one of the booth people and this is a picture of the side of the booth. The front of their booth is on the right. No one is there and this is what their booth looked like all day long. The most action they saw was when Ronda, Dan and I paid them a visit. We touched their flyers and the man in green said, "Don't touch that!" I guess they assumed we were up to no good because of our tea party t-shirts. Ronda responded, "That's not very open minded of you. We just wanted to see what your group has to say." The man remained defensive and testy, but Ronda was game. She stayed there and talked with them for at least 45 minutes. Ronda is not a confrontational person. She is very soft spoken and non-threatening. I think they soon saw that she simply wanted to have a conversation and so they did. Dan started talking to the man in green. His name is Forrest. Forrest made a negative comment about our Revolutionary War stating that we could have broken from England without bloodshed, just like Canada. I'm not kidding folks. The man said, "just like Canada." Dan tried to educate him by stating that Canada is a Commonwealth of England. That they didn't break away from England. That's why the Queen is on all their money. Forrest didn't quite have a come back for that one. Yes, people, Forrest gets to vote like the rest of us. Could this possibly be why we find ourselves in the situation that we find ourselves in? I'm just asking.

To end this long entry I have to acknowledge some important people that enabled me to put this booth together.

This is Betty Schumacher. She's a veteran at booth organizing. She kept giving me words of advise. Passing me informational pamphets and being a general mentor. I love Betty and it has been worth joining this group just to meet her.

This pistol of a woman is Ronda. Sorry Ronda, but when you resist being in pictures, this is the kind of picture you take. Have you ever heard of self-fulfilling prophesies? When I had my breast cancer scare it is Ronda that I turned to. I asked her if she could step in and take over the organizational duties if my biopsy came back positive and without a blink of the eye she said, "yes." Thank God it wasn't necessary for her to take over! She put together all of our petitions, supplied most of our decorations, as well as our sole hanger to display our t-shirts for sale. By the way, we sold all of our t-shirts except for three. Major source of fundraising. I am so grateful for my new friend Ronda.

This is Celia and Dean King. My apologies to Matt Miller and Teresa Frawley. I didn't get pictures of the two of you, but you did a stellar job manning the booth.

We closed out the day with Ed Vallerga and Jim Fiack manning the booth. They both did a great job representing the group. When Ed wasn't manning the booth, he was out working the crowds. He played a big part in our success for the day.

Tom Kozik showed up with his big flag and showed his on-going support for Chico Tea Party Patriots. I also want to acknowledge Kasey Cowan for her developing our logo, ordering of the t-shirts and banner, and tables she loaned us for the booth. All in all it was a terrific day. I'm really looking forward to our next meeting this Tuesday to see how many new Tea Party Patriots attend.

Happy Birthday Cody

2009-06-30T11:48:00.000-07:00

Today my son Cody turns 15 years old. As I stated previously, he is still planning his birthday and today nothing is really happening. It just doesn't seem right as this is the day of his birth. So I thought at the very least he deserved an acknowledgment on my blog. Not to sound corny or anything but he is starting to turn into a young man. Dan now has him driving the big mower and regularly helping with various outside activities that remain a mystery to me (and I intentionally want them to remain a mystery to me) that seem to result in our yard looking oh so nice and pretty.

Happy birthday Cody. You've been a joy these 15 years and I thank God everyday that he gifted you to me.

Free at Last

2009-06-29T08:42:00.001-07:00

I'm officially on vacation. Turned in my summer session grades on Saturday. I'm SUPPOSED to get paid in the next 10 days, but considering what's going on in Sacto right now with the budget, I'm not holding my breath. I'm just praying I get my regular paycheck.

Tomorrow is Cody's birthday. He'll be 15. He's getting sooooo tall. I swear he is the same height as Dan. My baby boy is as tall as his dad! What's a mother to do??? I still have no idea what he's got planned for his birthday tomorrow as he has chosen not to include me in the planning...if there is planning...if the plans are already made...if he is even considering planning...I think you get the idea.

I also have to figure out when to take Chelsea for her driving test. Her driving has really improved and I almost feel ready to kick her out of the "car nest." I keep thinking to myself, just one more week of practice driving, then we'll get her tested. Chelsea's getting antsy, so I think stalling is not going to be an option for much longer.

My needle biopsy site is almost healed, yeah! I'm lifting and only occasionally get a twinge of pain. Soon it will be an almost forgotten episode in my life...Never.

Speaking of antsy...Dan's got wanderlust BAD. I need to get him out of town and seeing some new sights. We'll be taking a week off mid-July. The kids want nothing to do with it, so Mom will be staying with them while I tend to Dan's need for travel. We still have no idea where we will be going, but I think Dan likes it that way. I don't really care or have an opinion, I'm just glad to be his sidekick. I'm a good sidekick, by the way.

A Mixed Bag

2009-06-28T12:56:00.000-07:00

Yesterday started in the most unexpected way. I opened my email at 9:27 am and in my mailbox were several emails from members of my tea party group. Friday the House of Representatives passed Cap and Trade legislation. The House was heavily "lobbied" to vote NO on this needless and costly legislation but, as usual, they ignored their constituents. The California Tea Party Patriots put out a call to head to Sacramento for a noon rally. I was informed in these emails that the Chico contingent was leaving at 9:30 am. I immediately contacted one of the members, Kasey, on her cell phone and made arrangements to meet them a few minutes later. So, literally in 5 minutes I went from casually checking my email to jumping in my car with a blue Sharpie and two blank poster boards.

Upon arriving in Sacto, we immediately scratched out a few catchy sayings on our posterboards and headed to the west side of the Capitol Building. We immediately noticed numerous tables and tents lining the wide walkway, but as we got closer and closer, the banners on these tents were for La Familia, The Women's Feminist Healthcenter, Planned Parenthood, etc... I turned and looked at Cynthia (the president of our group) and said I don't think this is where the tea party is going to be held. This is absolutely confirmed when I say the Obama "O" leaning up against the podium. Then we saw a group a people in red t-shirts setting up a card board table and putting more red t-shirts on the table, right next to one of the other group's tables. The national organization for the tea party group has decided that we all have red t-shirts for the July 4th rally, so we thought maybe these people were with our group. Sure enough, they were putting on the table tea party t-shirts. We shared our concern that we were setting up in the wrong area. The last thing we need to be doing is "crashing" another group's party. We soon found out that it was a gathering in support of Obama's national healthcare legislation. The red t-shirt people didn't seem concerned and said that when their organizer arrived he would tell us what to do.

We felt too uncomfortable being in such close proximity to this other group, so we set up about 50 feet away and waited. It was almost noon and there was hardly anyone there. The main organizer wasn't even there. We began to wonder if we'd wasted our gas and our time coming to this thing. Shortly thereafter, about a dozen very vocal tea-partier's arrived, one of the men had a megaphone. In very rapid succession more and more people came and soon the number was about 50 people. The guy with the megaphone started saying highly insulting comments to the healthcare group. I was horrified. He was calling them "parasites" and whenever the healthcare guy spoke at the podium, he would shout him down and say generally ugly, bagering statements. I identified a man talking on a cell phone as the event organizer and Kasey and Cynthia went over to protest to the organizer that this is not the kind of message we want to send about our group. Eventually, Mark, the organizer, got off the phone and got a clue and silenced the horrid man on the megaphone. I have to say that the healthcare people had every right to let us know how obnoxious the man was being, but they never said an unkind word. I was impressed with them and embarrassed by the behavior of some of the tea-partiers. Everyone in this country has the right to believe whatever they want and to voice that belief without being name-called.

Once Mark got a clue, our group was moved away from the healthcare group and the rally became what it should be; a group of non-partisan people who wanted to voice their disagreement with the passing of Cap and Trade. In the end we had about 300 people show up. We will only win if we make our case on the merits of our argument, not by insulting and degrading those who have differing opinions. That kind of behavior is un-American and I want no part of it.

Celebration

2009-06-26T16:13:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was a day for celebration. Last Christmas, Mona and I decided to take Chelseigh and a friend to see Wicked in San Francisco to celebrate Chelseigh's 17th birthday. The day arrived yesterday to make good on our plans. We left for San Francisco at about 1 pm, but Mona in her true "Mona-style" came loaded with goodies. She bought all manner of candy and snacks for the girls, which they quickly took into their possession, with the appropriate "thank-you's." After stopping for our "road trip" dose of coffee, we hit the road. We thoroughly enjoyed our conversation with the girls on the trip down and Chelseigh shared some of her favorite music on her iPod. I've got to say she's got rather good taste in music!

We arrived in the city around 4:15 and drove immediately to Pier 39. We wanted to check out the shops and have dinner there before heading off to the Orpheum Theater. We found great parking and walked about 2 blocks to the pier. As we started exploring the pier, I heard my cell phone ring. Upon answering it I heard the most unexpected voice...Dr. Schwabe, my OB-GYN. He was calling with the results of my needle biopsy on my breast. I was stunned! Here I am standing on noisy Pier 39, with the wind blowing my hair in every direction, my daughter standing beside me enjoying her long awaited birthday celebration, and I've got the man who has my very health in his hands on the other end of the phone. I stepped away after saying loud enough for Mona to hear, "Oh hi, Dr. Schwabe." Mona knew immediately what the call was about. I stepped away to try to find an area of less noise and to ensure that if the news was bad, I could collect myself outside of view from my daughter. Dr. Schwabe said, "I've got the results of your pathology report and the news is good." I pretty much didn't hear anything more after that. I think he told me what kind of cells were found, but who cares when they aren't malignant. I'd dodged a bullet. Not only did I have reason to celebrate Chelseigh's birthday, I now could celebrate NOT having to have surgery, chemotherapy, and/or radiation therapy. I rushed over to the girls and immediately shared my news. Hugs were shared all around.

Now we could shift our full and unfettered attentions to shopping. We found a great silver jewelry shop where we bought several pairs of earrings. We then decided to have lunch at the Hard Rock Cafe. I promptly told the waitress that it was Chelseigh's birthday. After ordering and eating our lunch, the waitress appeared at the table with a chocolate sundae with birthday candles. They do things a little different at the Hard Rock Cafe. Instead, of summoning all the wait staff to sing the obligatory "Happy Birthday" song, she grabbed Chelseigh by the arm and said, "come with me." Even more shoking was that Chelseigh went with her, sundae in hand. The waitress took Chelseigh to the center of the restaurant, shouted to get everyone's attention and proceeded to introduce Chelseigh to the entire restaurant and instructed that on the count of three we were to collective yell out, "Happy Birthday, Chelseigh." I captured the very dark picture that is shown below, but you can barely make out Chelseigh on the left with her hand covering her face.

Chelseigh brought with her for the day her friend MacKenzie. She is the sweetest and most well mannered friend that Chelseigh has ever had. The four of us just clicked.

We took this picture right after I shared my happy news. So this is my "I don't have breast cancer" picture.

After dinner we immediately located a candy store and bought more than our share of goodies for dessert. Then it was time to get ourselves to the Orpheum Theater. We had no trouble finding the theater and great parking. We found our seats easily and they were in a really good location. Wicked was simply a spectacular play. I was so excited because Patty Duke was in the play and I absolutely love Patty Duke. The two women who played the leads were simply marvelous with the most beautiful and clear singing voices. The sets were spectacular and I know that I will always remember this very special day and night. We got out of the play at about 11 pm and were immediately on the road home. Again, Mona and I shared with each other while the girls napped. We returned to Chico at 2 am, very ready for our awaiting beds.

The Challenge of Uncertainty

2009-06-24T19:20:00.000-07:00

I've hinted at the fact that I've been dealing with something difficult and I think it is time to come clean and let everyone know exactly what is going on. I had my yearly mammogram and received a call back for a magnification. They said there was some distortion on the original mammogram and they wanted a closer view. I wasn't particularly concerned as I've had this happen before and everything has always been fine. Well, this time I wasn't so lucky. After the magnification was taken, they ushered me into an exam room and then invited me into yet another room that had a sonogram machine sitting in the corner and a well made guerney. I was instructed to get on the guerney and informed that the doctor wanted to have a closer look with the sonogram. The lovely woman who conducted the exam took quite a while passing her "wand" repeatedly over the same spot. She finished her exam, covered me with a towel and told me that the doctor would be in shortly. I started to worry. I craned my head so that I could see what was on the screen, but it just looked like an etch-a-sketch screen turned upside down. Eventually the doctor came in the room, introduced himself (his last name started with an L) and he shook my hand. He proceeded to inform me that there is a distortion in my breast that caused him some concern and he wanted to order a needle biopsy. I was shocked, but held it together to ask the most relevant question...whatever "it" is, are we identifying it early? If it is, in fact, cancer, are we catching it early. He told me that it was very early. That anything smaller than 1 cm is considered to be early stages and mine measured 6mm. I dressed and went out to the reception area where a lovely, perky, and rather reassuring young woman scheduled me for my needle biopsy. I had to wait 8 days.

Today was my biopsy. I have to admit that the experience of waiting and living with uncertainty has been a very interesting experience. You see, I tend to be a controlling person. I like things to be in order. My mission in life is to try to control for every variable so that no matter what may come my way I will be ready to deal with it. I'm sort of like a girl scout on steriods. So, having to live with this uncertainty has been a challenge. Then to add insult to injury I received the email informing me that all lecturers were taken off the schedule. So not only do I have uncertainty regarding my health, I also have uncertainty regarding my work. Not my favorite state of being. This experience has offered me the opportunity to put into practice, what I have pondered theoretically. I believe in God. I believe that in spite of my almost obsessive need to control most things in my life, that ultimately I'm not the one in control. I've shared this belief with my friends and family. But, now I had to actually see if I could put my actions where my theoretical beliefs were. I had to trust that no matter what the outcome, that I would be alright. I had to let go and believe that God has a plan for me and the most important thing is for me to trust in that. What was amazing is that it really has worked for me. I described it to my sister like being in the middle of a tornado, however I stood in the eye, where it is very peaceful. Occasionally my thoughts would take me into the whirl of fear that comprised the tornado, but a deep breath and a reaffirmation that God is in control and that no matter what I will be able to deal with whatever the outcome may be brought me right back to center. What a gift this uncertainty has been!

I will not know the results of the biopsy until Monday, even though my doctor told me he would let me know on Friday. The odds are definitely in my favor; only 20% come back malignant. The biopsy experience was actually quite easy. I was expecting a lot more pain. The doctor allowed me to watch the entire procedure on the sonogram screen. I could see the needle injecting the numbing agent and then I could see the larger biopsy needle sucking up the questionable tissue. The people who work at the Breast Center couldn't have been nicer and I left there feeling happy. How strange! I've been instructed that I can't lift more than 5 pounds for 48 hours and I can't reach up for things, so I plan on using this to my advantage. I've already begun asking the kids to do "extra" to accommodate for my lack of mobility. See there's always a silver lining.

Tomorrow Mona and I will be taking Chelsea and her friend MacKenzie to San Francisco to see the play Wicked for Chelsea's 17th birthday. I can hardly wait. We'll take the girls to Pier 39 and have some dinner and then to Ghiaradelli's for some dessert before the 8 pm show. I'm really looking forward to spending the day with my beautiful daughter and my best friend. Life is good.

Caterpiller

2009-06-20T18:01:00.000-07:00

This is a picture that my sister took of a caterpillar that she saw while we were talking on the phone about a difficulty that I'm currently dealing with. Of course, the caterpillar is a symbol of metamorphesis and change. I pray that her seeing this caterpillar and having the presence of mind to take a picture of it so that she could share it with me as a sign of encouragement proves to be true. I am so blessed to have a sister who loves me and is always there for me.

Wait and See

2009-06-19T16:25:00.001-07:00

Received a group email today from my boss. The California budget crisis has finally come home to roost. All lecturers were removed from the schedule pending notification from the "higher up's" regarding class cancellations. He tried to be as reassuring as possible by stating that he believed that our schedule will probably stay intact, but the possibility still remains that there may be cancellations which would then result in lay-offs. I'm giving myself an 80/20 chance of keeping my job, which means I'm only mildly concerned. Hopefully we'll know sooner rather than later. In the meantime, I've got one more week of summer session to teach and then it is vacation time for me. One thing I've learned this week is there are a lot worse things that can happen then getting laid off from my job. More on that later.

Growing in Popularity!

2009-06-17T18:39:00.001-07:00

I've doubled my number of followers on Twitter and I have yet to post a "tweet." I now have four followers. I suggest that my four followers get their Starbuck's because it's going to be a long time before they receive a "tweet" from me.

The Strange World of Twitter

2009-06-15T20:03:00.001-07:00

I joined Twitter the other day so that I could follow Glenn Beck and Pioneer Woman. I was curious. In order to "follow" someone you have to open an account, which I did. This, of course, means that I can "twit" about my going's on, but who the heck wants to hear what I've had for breakfast and I finished grading papers? So I've never "twitted." I signed onto the Twitter homepage today to see what Glenn and Pioneer Woman were up to and I was shocked, gobsmacked, baffled, and stumped when it said that I had two followers. I don't know these people. Since I've never twitted I have no idea how they found me. It is strange to say the least. What kind of person would choose to follow a person they have never met and have never read anything that the person has twitted? It's almost creepy enough to cause me to cancel my account, however since I used a pseudo-name and I didn't provide any information in my profile I don't think there is any way that they can really know who I am, so I won't be rash and cancel the account today, but I want it noted that it is slightly disturbing, yet curious.

Things I Know

2009-06-10T18:24:00.000-07:00

Things I know:

Teaching summer session is intense, time consuming, and strangely enjoyable. The money isn't bad either.
That if you keep showing up, it is highly likely that you'll be asked to do more of the work.
That I don't mind doing more of the work, because I find the work meaningful.
Getting involved lessens feelings of powerlessness.
Feelings of powerlessness sucks, big time.
Sometimes when you take a medical test, the results are not always what you expect.
It's important to wait until you know what you are dealing with before you start to worry. Worrying too soon is a waste of energy.
If you stop eating refined sugar and decrease the amount of carbs you eat each day, that weight loss will happen.
If you stand on the scale and your weight is the same, it doesn't pay to get discouraged. It's better to bide your time, keep with the program, because it's the right thing to do for your health. Stick to it-tiveness is a virtue.
I'm 18 pounds lighter because I've done the two things I just mentioned.
My daughter is turning into a beautiful woman, both inside and out.
That makes me very happy, with a smidgen of bittersweet.
My son is taller than me and is one of the nicest people that I've ever known.
That makes me very happy, with no bittersweet.
Our founding fathers were the most courageous and virtuous people ever (I'm watching the HBO mini-series John Adams and it is breathtaking. I'm also reading the Real George Washington...I highly recommend it).
I want to be just like them...to have the courage of my convictions, no matter what the cost.
Most of the time doing the hard thing is the right thing.

Being an Activist Takes Time

2009-05-29T12:48:00.000-07:00

Not only is being an activist fun, it is also time consuming. I started a group at meetup.com for our little Chico tea party organization and when I go online I tend to spend my time there instead of here. Keeping up with the new members, updating the site, and being amazed at how quickly our little group is becoming a medium sized group takes time. Our group can be found at: http://www.meetup.com/Chico-Tea-Party-Patriots/. Our next big event is on the 4th of July. A big event is always held at Bidwell Park and we plan to have a booth so that we can hand out informational flyers, give out pocket Constitutions, and sell t-shirts. We plan to have a "cruise" through the park with decorated cars and then walking as a group into Bidwell Park where we will join in the festivities. I'm in charge of the booth, making sure it is manned from 10 am to 3 pm. Pray for mild weather. I'm making some really neat new friends and am really enjoying becoming involved in an organization that means a whole lot to me!

Summer session starts this coming Monday and goes until June 25th. I have no idea how the whole thing is going to go, but I sure am looking forward to that lump sum paycheck at the end.

The kids have finals week next week and will be out of school for the year next Thursday. Chelsea will begin her "volunteer work" at Dan's office for her International Baccalaureate Program. Cody's already grumbling that he has to read "To Kill a Mockingbird" for his honors English class this summer. He's asked Dan to get the mini-trails in running order so that he and his friend Kyle can ride them the first day of summer break.

I have no idea what we're going to do for vacation this year as the kids have asked that we NOT go anywhere. However Dan and I desperately want to go somewhere, anywhere for vacation. We've even tried bribing the kids but they are holding firm. What's a parent to do?

Being an Activist is Fun!

2009-05-20T19:38:00.001-07:00

I've been having so much fun being an activist that I forgot that I have a blog. Of course, there's this thing called finals week that's kept my attention as well, but my distraction is primarily because of my work with the tea party organization. We've had three meetings thus far. Last Monday night was our third meeting and I was gobsmacked when I walked in the room and we had literally doubled our numbers since the previous week! I guess my asssertive nature got me noticed because I'm now considered to be part of the "core" organizational group and was asked to attend a meeting today with the group leader, along with two other individuals. We spent almost two hours finalizing many of the necessary details for our July 4th event. It feels so wonderful spending time with people who are just as passionate as I am about limited government, fiscal responsibility, and free markets. I'll be attending the Republican Women's luncheon tomorrow. I'm attending more out of curiosity then a desire to become involved with the Republicans. I want to see if Chico's Republicans buy into the Lindsey Graham/John McCain BS or if they are trying to restore the party of less government, low taxes, and fiscal responsibility. If the later is true then I may stay in the hopes of changing the party from within. So far I've met some pretty awesome people and am making some really great friends. Who knew what fun being an activist can be!

I'm Just a Girl Who Can't Say No

2009-05-12T18:17:00.000-07:00

What is wrong with me? I simply can never say no when my employer asks me to do something. I've checked my gut (the inner voice, not the big of flesh and fat protruding over the top of my pants) and it doesn't feel like I say "yes" in order to please. I honestly want to say "yes." I happen to like my job. Today, I'm innocently walking down the hall after retrieving my mail from the mailroom, thinking of what I'm going to do with my summer vacation, when I see my boss walking towards me. He ask in a light tone, "Hey Cindy, do you have time to talk?" I, of course, say I do. He then proceeds to ask me if I would teach Abnormal Psychology during the summer session. I'm immediately suscipious about how this will affect my fall schedule. He assures me that this has no impact on the classes that I'm scheduled to teach in fall. That this is considered "extra." The hook as been inserted and now all he has to do is reel me in. I have to say this man is very good at reeling in. I asked him about the days and time. He takes me into his office and gives me the information and I inform him that I have to check with Dan before I give him my answer as I'm rather fond of Dan and would like to remain married to him. I head down to my office to think it over.

A student arrives at my office to discuss his grades. About 10 minutes into my meeting with the student I hear a knock on the door. It's my boss. He sticks his head in the door and proceeds to tell me what I'll be paid if I accept the class. My eyes got big and I began to salivate. I was almost reeled in and the man was reaching for the net. My thoughts now shifted from "should I" take the class to "What is the best strategy to convince Dan that I should accept the class."

Let's just say that I'm as good as my boss at reeling people in. After deftly making my case to Dan, he agreed that it would be okay for me to teach the class. I guess I won't be officially on vacation until June 25th...but I'll be a little more flush with cash. That's always a good thing.

I'm off to attend our second Tea Party organization meeting.

It's Official. I'm an Activist

2009-05-06T18:05:00.000-07:00

Last night Dan and I attended our first Tea party organization meeting. There were a little over 20 people there. It was wonderful to be in the same room with like-minded people. The tenor of the meeting was very positive, no sitting around and complaining. A lot of emphasis was placed on this being a non-partisan group. Everyone is welcome. The discussion centered on issues and not personal attacks. The agenda included defining our core values, discussing what to do next, and delegating the work. I was able to connect with another university faculty member, as well as a Chico State student. We're planning on working together to organize student support for our efforts. I also connected with another couple from Paradise who are equally interested in doing research that will serve to keep members informed regarding pending legislation, the activities of our elected officials, and track candidates for future upcoming elections. We left the meeting feeling energized and a little less powerless.

Busy not Posting

2009-05-03T17:46:00.001-07:00

I was surprised when I saw that it has been over a week since my last post. I think this is an indication of how busy I've been. What have I been so busy with?

Writing. I've been busy writing. I either foolishly or wisely decided that the text I'm using for my Abnormal Psychology class is inadequate for my curriculum. So I met with a publisher last week and decided to create a custom text. I love the first four chapters of my current text, but the remain 13 chapters don't meet my needs. So this means that I have to write the bulk of the text book...in four weeks. You decide if this is foolish or wise, but please keep your opinion to yourself. I'm too busy trying to make it happen to listen to what anyone has to say about it.
Making sure that Chelsea gets enough practice driving. She has been driving daily and is really improving. I no longer grip the door handle in a vain attempt to hide my nervousness. In fact, yesterday I learned how to text while she chauffeured us to Paradise to see a movie. Now that is trust!
Pretending to cook. It has always been so much easier driving through a fast food establishment, but my kids have made it clear to me that they prefer it when I at least attempt to feed them real food. Last posting I wrote about my chicken marsala. Today I branched out and created an Atkin's friendly version of chicken parmesan. Another miracle happened...I actually liked this dish more than the chicken marsala. I'm waiting to see how the kids like it as Chelsea is busy playing video games with a friend and Cody is at the movies with Dan.

Miracle in the Kitchen...News at 11

2009-04-23T09:04:00.000-07:00

A miracle happened yesterday. It was totally unexpected, which I guess by definition a miracle tends to be unexpected. What I'm trying to say is I was not looking for a miracle, I didn't think a miracle was possible, so it wasn't on the radar screen. Don't you just love when you receive a miracle that way?

Here's the back story, which isn't really much of a back story. I'm fat. I keep trying to lose weight. The only plan that ever shows any promise is Atkins. I get incredibly sick, very quickly of eating all the protein. The only meat that I can cook that tastes decent is filet mignon. I know, I can hear the whispers, "you've got to be kidding. Filet mignon? She couldn't just say beef? Who's she trying to impress?" My answer to your whispers is, "no one." In a nutshell I'm picky and slightly queasy about meat. You should see me prep meat. I cut off any signs of fat, even if it means cutting into the steak to remove marbling. I realize that marbling is supposed to be a good thing, but in my world it's a nightmare. I like chicken but I only know one way to prepare it and George Foreman's grill figures prominently into the preparation and the result is marginal and tasteless and most of the time dry.

Three days ago I got to that place where my level of digust with myself reached the point of "I've got to do something! NOW!" So it's back to Atkins, but the old problem looms large of how can I live on eggs, filet mignon, turkey bacon, cheese, and marginal chicken. I've got to try something to change things up or improve my cooking skills. There is a restaurant called Malvina's that serves a chicken marsala that I die for everytime. I thought to myself, "could I possibly find a recipe for chicken marsala and make it slightly resemble Sal's chicken marsala at Malvina's?" So I started searching the internet and came up with the simplest recipe that I could find. I then bravely went where I so often am reluctant to go...into the kitchen to try to cook.

As I said, the recipe was simple and straightforward. I carefully pounded the chicken within an inch of total disintegration. I lightly sprinkled it with flour. Fried the pounded and floured breasts in olive oil and butter for 3 minutes on each side. Then I added the white wine and brought it to a boil and let the chicken cook for about another 10 minutes. Removed the cooked chicken and added some more butter and chicken stock to the juices in the pan, stirring constantly. I tasted the sauce a couple of times and each time I was not very impressed. It tasted a little too salty and that was weird because I hadn't added any salt. But I pressed forward. I placed the chicken on a plate and covered it in the "salty" sauce. I was too "chicken" to taste my creation so I called the kids down and forced them to try it first. Being the supportive children that they are, they responded with, "what the heck is that?" and "did you cook the chicken enough? I don't want you making me sick." I know, they really do trust my culinery skills. Cody was the first to sample my efforts and I was shocked when I heard him say, "oh my goodness, this is sooooo good" as he dropped to one knee to add effect. It took a minute for me to fully comprehend that he wasn't falling down because I had just poisoned him, but because he loved it. Chelsea love it too and said that when she mixed the sauce with the rice it made the rice taste "awesome." Then it was my turn. I gingerly placed the first bite in my mouth and was greeted by a mixture of flavors that closely resembled Sal's chicken. I was in heaven and I'm the one who put me there. I cooked and I cooked well. That's my miracle.

Where was Dan in all this? He's not much of a meat eater, but he did sneak a couple of very small pieces of chicken on top of his rice and for Dan that's saying something.

Frogs are Green, but I am Not

2009-04-22T11:37:00.000-07:00

Today is Earth Day, as evidenced by the myriad of flags with a picture of the Earth silk screened on them hanging from every light post in my town. A necessary expenditure of our tax dollars I am sure!

Can I just say that this whole Green Movement makes my want to throw up. I was pushed to my limit yesterday as I was making a purchase at my favorite clothing store, or maybe I should say the only clothing store that sells my size and their clothes don't make my want to hide under my desk. As I was making my purchase the sales girl invited me to purchase their new Green bag so that I wouldn't use their plastic bags. She even added the incentive that if I purchased the bag, that they would plant a tree or save a dolphin, or stand in front of an indigenous person trying to club a harp seal or give me 5 carbon credits. I wasn't paying that close attention, because my blood pressure was quickly rising and I needed to pay attention to my body to see if I was going to suffer a stroke. I politely declined, but I guess that wasn't acceptable. She continued to push. She said, "you know you really will be helping the environment if you use our Green bag instead of our plastic bags." I felt the bile now rising up into my throat...now I've got bile and an impending stroke to deal with! My reply was, "I don't really think my using your plastic bag will have that great of an impact on the environment so no thanks." Again, this was not a sufficient reply on my part. She quickly added, "Oh I know it helps, I haven't used a plastic bag in six years." I said, "well good for you, but I don't want one of your Green bags. By the way, what's the store's profit margin on your Green bag?" She didn't particularly like this question I assume because all I got in response was an eye roll. To which I further added, "you do realize that your store wouldn't be selling these Green bags if it didn't help their bottom line? That this Green retail movement is just a scam to increase profits?" Again, no reply. She simply handed me my purchases in my plastic bag, holding it as if it were a dirty diaper. I would have loved to debate the finer points of the issue, such as, asking her for measurable evidence that her lack of use of plastic bags had helped the environment, but what would be the use. There seems to be an incredible lack of questioning when it comes to the Green issue. I'll just say that I'm Green and somehow that will make me a better person and give me the right to be condescending, rude, and downright obnoxious to anyone who doesn't "get with the program." Don't get me wrong. I'm not against making profits, in fact, I'm all for making profits. What I rail against is the dishonesty behind the profit making. We've got Chicken Little saying "the sky is falling" for the sole purpose of selling a bill of goods based on faulty data in order to make a profit. I find that morally reprehensible.

I'm sick of such vacuous logic that this sales girl was pedaling and I'm willing to say that "The Emperor has no clothes."

I'm a Joiner

2009-04-16T19:26:00.000-07:00

Today I joined:

The National Rifle Association. What prompted this? Obama's meeting with the President of Mexico and his statement regarding getting a handle on all those guns that we're supplying Mexico. What a perfect excuse to tamper with our Second Amendment.
I will be attending the next meeting of the Libertarian Party on May 3rd. After that meeting I'll decide if I'll make it official by registering with the party. I'm itching to get involved at the local level and if the Libertarian Party is active at the local level, I'm going for it.
My desire to become more proactive is driven by the lies and distortions that I saw on CNN, NBC, MSNBC, and ABC about yesterday's tea parties. I was there and I know what actually happened. Their first out and out lie is that these tea parties were organized by Fox News, Glenn Beck, and Shaun Hannity. I listen to Glenn Beck's radio show every day. When the tea parties were first suggested by callers he stated he thought it was a bad idea. It was premature to hold tea parties because the issue right now is not about taxes. The issue is the out of control spending and unmanageable debt. When does deciding to cover an event mean that you are responsible for planning the event? I'd like these news outlets to explain that one! The second lie was that this was an anti-Obama event. Nothing could be further from the truth. Not one anti-Obama word was spoken at the tea party I attended. They even acknowledged all the different political groups that were in attendance, including one democrat who had his sign "Support the Troops, Pay Your Taxes." Nobody boo-ed him, in fact, when he was acknowledged from the stage he received a warm and accepting round of applause from the audience. He was a sweetheart and responded with a big smile and a wave. What I saw was a true gathering of concerned Americans who were exercising their right to voice their concerns. For the media outlets to try to turn these gatherings into a right-wing, Republican backed, Fox News organized irrelevant and extremist event is shameful and demonstrates they have no journalistic integrity, sorely out of touch, and downright arrogant.

Would you like some disrespect with that tea?

2009-04-15T15:36:00.000-07:00

I attended a tea party protest this morning held in the City Plaza. I was pleasantly surprised with the number of people who showed up. There were about 300-400 people there. I almost didn't go, but upon hearing from one of my students about what his economics professor said about people who choose to attend these tea party protests, that sealed the deal for me. This economics professor said that the only people who would be attending these protests were either rich or idiots. I'm not rich, so I guess that makes me an idiot. Isn't it wonderful how respectful this man is of people who don't agree with his point of view? Isn't it terrific that he shares his lack of tolerance with his students? This view is also shared by the LA Times in one of their op-ed pieces. This op-ed, in its title labels people like me "insane." What is so sad is that these people just don't get it. It's not about the taxes, it about government spending; it's about the growing federal government; it's about the 10th Amendment and the increasing pressure to disregard state rights; it's about politicians who believe that we serve them rather than they were elected to serve us. This country was formed as a Republic, not a democracy. That's what I heard at the tea party I attended. I was so impressed with the people who showed up. All parties were represented. Everyone was respectful of each other. There was one lady who kept yelling out "bulls**t" but everyone ignored her and didn't get into a shouting match. It wasn't an anti-Obama rally, as some in the media want to say it that it was. I saw people from all walks of life. I stood next to a vet who was in his early 60's. When I told him what that economics professor said, he confirmed that he must be an idiot too because he certainly wasn't rich. He was a mechanic. It felt good being with a group of people who felt just as disenfranchised as I feel. We weren't bitter, just determined to be silent no longer. It's time to organize and be pro-active. By the way, the Department of Homeland Security came out with this memo stating those who speak out against big government are extremists. I guess that makes me an idiot and an extremist...and boy am I proud to be both. Their disrespect, condescension, and ridicule will not alter my course. I'm even more committed to making sure that no more ground is lost to this progressive movement that has taken over our country.

Random Thoughts

2009-04-14T18:28:00.001-07:00

I've been sick with cold/flu since last Thursday.
I had to miss the family Easter breakfast, but my sweet sister-in-law sent over a warm cup of coffee. I so appreciate thoughtfulness.
Today was the first day that I started approximating feeling normal, but as luck would have it the winds pick up, really picked up, so all the pollen in the air doesn't help my allergies; making it difficult to know if it is the reminent of the cold or the allergies that are making me feel bleah.
Covering moral development in class always disturbs me because there are always several students who make comments regarding morals that makes my jaw drop; like it is okay to steal as long as you don't get caught; the sense of entitlement voiced is staggering. I always feel slightly depressed when class is over.
During intersession one student made the statement that all business is evil; today a student commented that money is bad. My reply to him was that I would be more than happy to take any money that should come his way. Not surprisingly he said he'd be happy to give me what ever he has; I guess the logic escaped him that money is what enabled him to have a seat in the class.
I'm planning on attending a tea party at City Plaza tomorrow; unfortunately I can only attend for about 20 minutes as I'll go during my office hour (which is actually 50 minutes), but I want to be supportive of the protest.
Sometimes I feel like I've stepped through the looking glass and I'm Alice.
I pray that I'm not the only one who feels this way.

Change of Schedule

2009-04-07T15:14:00.000-07:00

When I went into work today I had to head up to the department office to sign a form to close my review file for the year. When I came into Barb's office (head secretary) she jumped up and said, "I was about to send you an email about your schedule." I was surprised to hear this because I've had my fall schedule for over a month now. I said as much to her. Her reply was, "I know, but there's been a change." "What's the change?" I nervously asked. I was not prepared for her response, "We've cancelled one of your Introductory Psychology sections and added another section of Abnormal Psychology for you." My jaw dropped. Did she just tell me that they had granted my request? I had sent an email to my boss about 4 months ago requesting that he change my schedule to include 2 instead of 1 section of Abnormal. I never received a response to that email, so I figured he was avoiding answering because he wanted to tell me "forget about it." I did a little jig and then gave Barb a big hug, telling her that "heck, yeah, sign me up!"

Can you tell that I'm excited?!!! I feel like I just received an early birthday and Christmas present.

Happy Birthday Luke (and Joe)

2009-04-05T10:20:00.000-07:00

Saturday we celebrated Luke's 60th birthday. Dan, brother-in-law Fred, nephew Joe, and I drove to Napa for a small get together to properly celebrate Luke's 60 years on this earth. We mustn't forget however that Luke shares a birthday with Joe who is turning 32 years old.
Dan and I started the day by taking the NSX and Dan being Dan insisted on taking the "back roads" to get there, which is code for find the most winding roads with the fewest number of services available. These excursions start out full of anticipation of fun, but as one hairpin turn turns into 100, the anticipation of fun quickly turns into anticipation of when the heck are we going to get there. We managed to turn a 2 1/2 hour drive into a 4 hour drive. Now, this was okay with me because I really wanted to arrive late. I'm perpetually early and I get sick of always being the first one to a party. I wanted to be fashionably late. Therefore, Dan's plan to take the "back roads" served my purposes just fine. We arrive to the party 45 minutes late, but upon our finding the house we noticed that there are no cars there; not even Luke and Diane's. We arrived at the party BEFORE the guest of honor! We got on the phone immediately and found out that the party was scheduled to start at 4 pm not 3 pm. Luckily Luke and Diane were just minutes away as were Fred and Joe. So, yet again, my best efforts to be late were foiled. I guess I'm meant to always be the first to arrive.

The invited guests for this part were life long friends of Luke, most of whom I had met years ago, or maybe it would be more accurate to say decades ago. I was mildly curious to see how kind the years have been to all of us. It turns out that Luke was not the only one having a birthday. Bob Halliwell was also turning 60 next Tuesday, so the party was for him as well.

We were warmly greeted by Gerhardt and Vayla (sorry I don't know their last name) and brought into their lovely home. Bob and his wife, Gigi, were already there and Bob immediately got to work tending bar. Bob is a bigger than life kind of person, who is never short on enthusiasm and something to say, so there was not the usual warming up phase of the party. We just hit the ground running, catching up and (for the others) reminiscing.
Then it was picture time. Bob Halliwell is on the far left, next to him is Gerhardt, then Luke, then Joe, then Fred, and Dan. Nick is the man sitting on the stool. I had previously met everyone except for Gerhardt. What a wonderful host Gerhardt was; constantly checking to see if there was anything that anyone needed.

Luke's wife, Diane and I have a wonderful sister-in-law relationship and I so enjoy whenever I can spend time with her.

Diane and I wanted a picture with our favorite bartender of the night Bob. He is a retired teacher so I guess you could say this was a picture of the teachers who were at the party. Diane teaches second grade.

The women at the party were (from left to right) Gigi (Bob's wife), Vayla (Gerhardt's wife and hostess of the party), Miriam (Nick's wife), Diane and myself.

After we finished with picture taking we were moved into the house where a lovely dinner was served. Most notable was the dessert. Vayla made this German cake, well it was actually more like coffee cake, that was to die for. She gave me the recipe (I pray that I will be able to remember it) and I plan on making it the first chance I have a good reason to. They put to gether a slide show of pictures from their youth and let me just say that they accurately portrayed the cultural events of the 60's. You do with that statement what you will. The evening went a little later than I had expected and so we had to gently leave before I think we were meant to, but we had teenagers to get home to and a long drive ahead of us, or should I say me. Dan was in no condition to drive, which left me and it was way past my bedtime...ugh that makes me sound sooooo old. I guess I'm just saying that I was already rather sleepy. We arrived home at 12:30 am and found both our children safely back at home (Chelsea had been in Gridley all day at a party).

We don't get out much to do these kind of social functions, so it was nice to break with routine and relax and enjoy the company of others. Happy Birthday dear brother Luke! We sure do love you.

I Fought the Mediocrity and the Mediocrity Won...For Now

2009-03-27T19:40:00.000-07:00

Oh what a week and thank God it's Friday!

Monday I had my meeting with the head of the assessment committee. Let's just say that the meeting SUCKED!!!! I clearly had done my homework and was prepared to have an HONEST exploration of the best way to assess student performance. I came to the meeting with copies of sample questions based on a heck of a lot of work that ensured the validity of those questions and she didn't even look at my work. It was clear that she had her agenda and the point of the meeting was to tell me what to do, even though her "what to do" SUCKS. Her way of assessing is lazy and even worse meaningless, but it fits a particular cookie-cutter formula and is guaranteed to produce the mediocrity that surely comes with any beaurocratic endeavor. So, like the excellent government worker that I am, I did the only thing that I could do...I delegated the work to someone else and designed said delegation in such a way that I get credit for all the work. Sounds good to me. Oh my, I do believe that I feel the slow creep of mediocrity up my leg.

The good news in all this is that I'm still a free agent and I can still create a valid assessment for my research data and so when all is said and done and I submit my research for publication consideration, I can hold my head up high and know that the mediocrity that slowly is creeping up my leg can be beaten back with hard work, integrity, and pride in a job well done.

It Really Feels Like Spring

2009-03-20T20:29:00.000-07:00

Today signals the end of spring break. I just had five glorious days free from the usual work concerns. Don't get me wrong, I did plenty of work, but not having to meet the usual schedule is truly lovely. My only complaint is how quickly the week went by. I was just beginning to settle in to the less demanding schedule and now it's time to return to the old hectic schedule.

The weather has been simply beautiful the past couple of days. The temperature actually reached the high 70's today. It really does feel like the first day of spring.

I had lunch today with my gal pal Mona. We hadn't seen each other for a couple of weeks and it is always so wonderful to reconnect. We may go up to their cabin tomorrow to spend a little more time together, but whether we go or not depends on my sister, Lynnie. We have an appointment to talk tomorrow regarding my research project and if the result of our talk means that I have to do a bunch of work before my Monday meeting regarding the assessment for my research, then I'll have to stay home and get the work done. Otherwise, Butte Meadows, here we come!

What a Nice Surprise!

2009-03-11T18:19:00.000-07:00

As I mentioned in my previous post I was "requested" to come to an interview with the personnel committee. They sent me a copy of the three questions they planned on asking me. One of the questions was regarding the curriculum that I created for my Abnormal Psychology. As soon as I saw that question, I knew things were going to go very well.

You see this class is my baby. I created it, nurtured it, tweeked it, kicked it in the tires, and loved it. It has turned out to be quite a successful venture, one that I'm very proud of, so when asked to talk about it, the question on my lips is, "how long have you got?"

On Monday I had the interview with the personnel committee and after I was done answering their questions about the new curriculum, they then asked about what I've done regarding professional development. I basically answered them by pointing to the new curriculum. This was exactly the right thing to say, but what came next really surprised and delighted me. They suggested that I publish my new curriculum. I will need to gather some pre/post assessment data, but they felt that this new approach to teaching this material is innovative, valuable, and relevant. I walked out of that meeting floating on air and I plan doing exactly what they suggest. In fact, I already contacted one of the personnel committee members who is responsible for tracking pre/post assessment data and will be meeting with her in about 10 days to get the process started creating an assessment. I'm so excited and now I'm even thinking about writing a textbook based on this new approach.

The Lord Giveth and the Lord Taketh Away

2009-03-04T15:35:00.000-08:00

I was so excited last week because I was given a teaching assistant to help me with my grading. He did all my grading last week and it was heaven. I was able to focus on other things, including relaxing and enjoying the extra down time. I received an email from my teaching assistant this morning stating that he is just too busy to do all my grading and would I be willing to have him grade only one of the three sections. Of course his timing absoluting stank. This week students turned in their first paper, so now I have all of the usual weekly assignments to grade in addition to the paper. If I had known I was going to be doing almost all of the grading I would have gotten started on Monday. So, now I have to grade almost everything and I'm already behind. The Lord giveth and the Lord taketh away.

I was also approached by the chair of the personnel committee and informed that as part of the review process they will now be conducting interviews. What???!!! I am now required every year to meet for 2 hours, yes 2 hours, and answer questions posed to me by the personnel committee. He assured me that the interview is nothing to feel threatened about, but I can't help feeling like it will be a bit of an inquisition.

Not the Usual Trip to the Video Store

2009-02-22T09:28:00.000-08:00

Chelsea completed her driver's training last Thursday, so I figure that it's a good idea to give her as much opportunity to drive as possible. I hadn't shared this strategy with her when she asked yesterday if I would take her to Hollywood Video. I promptly said I would, quietly grabbed her driver's permit and car keys and headed for the garage with Chelsea right behind me. I immediately headed for the passenger side of the car and the look on Chelsea's face was priceless. "You want me to drive!!!???" I could see the mix of excitement, shock, and nervousness in her eyes. I confidently said, "get in, you're driving." Now my outer confidence was masking sheer terror. I was turning my car, which means so much to me, over to my daughter who means even more. She got in and started adjusting the seat to fit her shorter legs. I thought it would be a good idea to do a test run up the lane next to our house before taking her out into real traffic.

It became immediately apparent that Chels needs some practice with backing up. She hasn't quite grasped which way to turn the wheel. However, the rest of her driving skills are pretty good. She completed the "test run" down our lane and was ready to head off to the video store. She bravely inched her way up to the intersection waiting for the light to turn green. Once the light turned green she gingerly hit the accelerator and was immediately thrilled to see that my car excelerated much faster than the Ford Explorer that she did her training in. I, of course, dutifully told her that just because the car can excelerate fast doesn't mean that she should. She took all of my non-stop instructions very well, much better than I expected. Usually when I try to tell her what to do I get the typical teenager defensiveness, but there was none of that during our short trip to the video store. As we were nearing the video store I commented to her about how special it was to share this rite of passage with her. I think I was more touched than she was. Her focus was on getting us to the store in one piece. I'd like to report that she was successful in doing so.

I Never Thought The Day Would Come

2009-02-18T18:56:00.000-08:00

I never thought I'd be saying the words that I'm about to say. I joined the teacher's union today. It was not an easy decision to make because I believe that the unions are primarily a political body rather than a negotiating body. This is particularly true of California Faculty Association, the union I just joined.

What brought me to such a decision? Well, every month there is a deduction that is taken for CFA non-member fees, which is approximately $50. This deduction bothers me to no end. I have no choice in the matter, they just take my money. This deduction is not what made me decide to join the union, but it got me thinking. If you haven't heard, California is in a terrible situation financially. We've gone to Washington hat in hand asking for the rest of the country to bail us out. We also have a state legislature that is unable to pass a budget that adequately curbs spending. More job cuts are going to be coming to employees of the state. I'm a state employee. I also see which direction the prevailing wind is blowing when it comes to unions. We have ushered in a pro-union climate with our last election. When you take all these factors into consideration I began to feel vulnerable. It is likely that those who are not union members will be the most attractive to cut loose. We depend on my job to provide the family with medical and dental insurance, which I use on a regular basis.

So, last night Dan and I talked about it and decided that I would contact the union rep and ask a few questions. Such as, if I were to join the union, would I have to pay more in union fees each month? If I join the union, how much of my fees go toward PAC's? Interestingly today, before I had a chance to send an email to the union rep, I had a knock on my door. Guess who was on the other side of the door? Two union reps asking for me by name. I invited them in to my office and started asking them questions. But before I asked them questions I very frankly shared with them, in a respectful way, my contempt for unions and lack of desire to join their ranks. They were also quite respectful, which was a relief because I really didn't feel like debating the issue with them.

They told me that my fees would remain the same, but now I would be able to vote on contracts, where as a non-union member I could not vote. They also told me that when I fill out the application I can request that none of my money is given to PAC's. Both of my concerns were addressed and allayed, so I filled out the application card and became a member of the union.

I have to admit I still feel a little dirty, but I figure I'm taking one for the family.

Would You Get Naked?

2009-02-16T16:47:00.000-08:00

It has been raining almost non-stop for 24 hours. The rain has finally stopped and we're starting to get glimpses of sunlight. It's my favorite time right after a good rain. Everything starts turning green and looks oh so clean. I just wish the rain had stopped a few hours earlier. It's not my favorite thing to have to walk in a heavy rain from my car to class. My feet and lower legs are usually soaked by the time I make it to cover. If this is the worst thing that happens to me in a day, I guess I'm having a pretty good day.

Today was the first day that we did group work in my Abnormal Psychology class. I love to see the panic/nervousness in my student's eyes. It's such a waste of emotions. They quickly find out that their anticipation was far worse than the reality of the situation. Initially the room is very chaotic, but as they slowly realize that this "group stuff" isn't so bad, in fact, it's kind of fun, you can feel the tension in the room transform into a healthy energetic buzz. I love the first day of group work!

When I arrived at work today the "messy one" was not there. I had the office to myself. I was so happy that I felt the urge to strip naked and dance a happy dance. I resisted the urge. Which is a nice set-up for a story that a student shared today in my Introductory class. A female friend had just moved into a new house. The phone hadn't been hooked up yet. Someone broke into her house. She had no access to a phone to call for help so she did the next best thing. She stripped down to her birthday suit and grabbed a knife. The intruder was so shocked by her state of undress that he turned and ran away. I don't know if this story is true or not, but I certainly enjoyed the thought of it being true. I know that if I did this, the very sight of me naked would surely cause anyone, intruder or not, to turn tail and get the heck outta there!

The Good and the Bad

2009-02-10T09:07:00.000-08:00

Several things that I'm happy about:

That my kids have the next week, yes week, off for President's Day. I'm not quite sure about the logic that brought us a week's worth of vacation for a holiday that lasts 24 hours, but who am I to question? I'm just enjoying not having to get the kids to school every morning by 7:45 am.
Being able to sleep in until 7:15 am this morning. An extra hour in the morning does wonders for my spirits.
My daughter, on her own, came to me and announced that she was going to do a "spring cleaning" in her room yesterday. Finally she rid herself of the final vestiges of being a child. Bye, bye beanie babies! Her room looked terrific by the end of the day. I'm still in shock to be honest, but a happy shock.
That I have a husband who is willing to crawl underneath the house to fix a problem with the venting system to our dryer (we almost burned our house down on Sunday).
That we discovered the burning lint caught in the venting system before it caught the house on fire.

Several things that I'm very unhappy about:

Arlen Spector, Olympia Snowe, and Susan Collins - these bozos are making the passing of the stimulus legislation possible. I emailed each of them this morning to share with them the extent of my unhappiness.
"The messy one" who I share an office with is letting his true colors shine through by starting more and more piles of his junk.
"The messy one" is always in the office now. When I arrive he is there, while I'm working he is there, and when I leave he is there. He only teaches two classes. What is so important that makes all this office time necessary? I fantasize about telling him to "get the heck out." But I would never allow myself such a nasty outburst, so I'll just fume and smile.
I'm tired of eating protein. I've lost 10 1/2 pounds (which I'm happy about), but I'm sick to death of what's on the menu. I'm close to making a change. Hopefully that change won't undo my progress.

That's about all I can muster today.

Don't Mock Me Mr. President

2009-02-06T04:13:00.000-08:00

Someone needs to tell Obama that he is no longer a candidate for president. I just watched him give a speech regarding the "stimulus" package. He sounded more like he was running for president instead of actually being president. His revival meeting style of speech included a systematic mocking of those who challenge his package. I happen to be one of those who has valid concerns regarding the wisdom of spending our way out of this financial crisis. I never thought I'd see the day that the President of the United States would sit before television cameras and mock anyone who holds a different view from his own. I think the president needs to remember that he is president of us all; even those who might disagree with him. We have just as much right to voice our opinion and to have our valid concerns considered rather than mocked. His performance tonight disgusted me and I let him know of my disgust in an email. What happened to his unite rather than divide stance that he so often talked about during his campaign? Oh I know, it went the way of the "sunlight before signing" and "new era of transparency and ethics" stances...right out the window.

Waking Up

2009-02-03T18:36:00.000-08:00

I believe that our country is fundamentally changing and not for the good. As I watch the behavior of our elected officials, I become very disheartened. It would be easy to throw up my hands and say there's nothing that I can do; I might as well just disconnect and let those in power do what they will. But giving up is not in my nature and I have to believe that I'm not alone. So, I've begun to make a pest of myself to my elected officials. Instead of depending on voting in every election as the sole way in which my voice is heard, I now am, almost on a daily basis, contacting my representative and senators and letting them know how I want them to vote on whatever the issue of the day is. I realize that most of the time they aren't going to listen, but at least I can look myself in the mirror and know that I did something. I'm probably not going to stop there. I'm just not sure at this time what I will do next, but I'm keeping my eyes and ears open and will do whatever is necessary to be an active citizen.

I pray that others are experiencing the same kind of awakening that I am. I am sick and tired of elected officials thinking that they know better than me; that they are above the law; that they have the right to dictate to me. These politicians have become so disconnected from the people that it is frightening. They have no clue how to solve the problems before us. All they seem to think of is moving their party's agenda forward instead of asking what is the right thing for this country. I plan on reminding them who they work for every single day.

Surviving and Even Thriving

2009-01-30T19:06:00.000-08:00

I survived the first week of classes. The experience was a combination of exhiliration from doing what I love (teaching) and frustration/sadness/guilt of having to repeatedly tell students that the class is full but I'd be happy to put them on a waiting list. The stories that students come up with to encourage you to add them to the class are sooooooooo guilt inducing. I gently, but firmly, reiterate to them that my hands are tied, there are limits placed by the "higher ups" that are completely out of my control and that if an opening occurs I'll contact them. This is what the beginning of the week was like. Then as each day passed, I slowly saw students begin to drop the class, I contacted the students on the waiting list, the students then inform me that they have found another class to take and no longer "urgently" need my class....but wait a minute...what happened to your empassioned plea about if you don't get into my class that you won't be able to graduate or your great aunt Tilly will die?????!!!! I've been played. I wasted all my guilt on someone who is less than deserving. This semester is worse than any other I've experienced. With the budget cuts there are fewer classes available to serve the same amount of students, which results in these pressure induced interactions with students. All I can say is thank goodness that part of the week is over.

Last night Mona and Mary took me out for my birthday dinner (my birthday was over a month ago and very well celebrated). I swear, this birthday has been the birthday with no end. Don't get me wrong, if someone wants to take me out, buy me a wonderful dinner, and give me a present, I'm all in. They took me to my favorite restaurant, Fifth Street Steakhouse. Dinner was great as usual. We were able to get caught up with Mary, because she has been out of town so much visiting her new granddaughter in Wisconsin. Mary gave me a beautiful shawl and pin. I loved both. I'm a lucky girl to have such great friends.

I went to the department office today to sign my contract for the semester and was pleased when I saw, for the first time, the words "full-time" instead of "part-time" on my contract. This may seem like a minor point, but it isn't. The way in which contracts are written up are dictated by union contract, so procedures are very specific. Therefore, once a full-time contact has been given, they are contractually obligated to give full-time contracts first crack at available courses. Bottom line this means that I moved one notch up the "food chain." It means that I have just a smidgen more job security and that's always a good thing.

Neck Ache

2009-01-26T17:47:00.000-08:00

You know I've really tried to give our new president a chance. I'm trying to have an open mind. However, have you noticed that every other day he is making a speech? I do not remember a new president ever making this many speeches at the beginning of his administration. Quite frankly he's beginning to get on my last nerve.

The other observation I've made is that he seems to be signing a lot of executive orders. I don't remember a new president ever signing this many. I'm beginning wonder who elected him king?

Finally, as I hear his plans for the recovery of our economy and his plans for the environment I believe that my predictions regarding his desire to turn us into a socialist nation are going to be realized. I'm amazed how many people are willing to give up their freedoms in order to get a free hand out from the government. I'm also amazed how many people actually think the government is the answer to our problems. Have these people been to the DMV lately?

Since the adminstration has taken over I seem to be constantly shaking my head. I've been shaking my head so much that I'm beginning to get a neck ache.

Wishing for Warm and Fuzzy

2009-01-22T18:34:00.000-08:00

What's on my mind today?

The saying: "No good deed goes unpunished."

I'd rather not elaborate on why this is on my mind, but I will say that the thought does not exactly make me feel all warm and fuzzy inside.

Maybe looking at this picture for a while will make that warm and fuzzy feeling return.

Missed Opportunity

2009-01-19T09:33:00.000-08:00

News reports state that approximately $160 million is being spent on this inauguration. That's a lot of money; money that this country doesn't have. Wouldn't it have been wonderful if Obama had chosen to lead by example and said, "Let's cut back. I think that considering the dire economic crisis that is facing our country that it would be a good idea to scale things back a bit." A true leader leads by deed not word. What a missed opportunity! I hope this does not foreshadow the kind of leadership that is to come. I don't think it is unreasonable to ask that our leaders make the same sacrifices that we are having to make. File this under "Give me a break!"

Blogs Galore

2009-01-14T15:39:00.000-08:00

Lately I find myself exploring and finding new blogs to enjoy. I hate to admit how much time I spend reading blogs. The fact that the Weblog 2008 awards voting has been open for the past few weeks really facilitates the discovery of new blogs. One of my new favorite blogs was nominated for the Best Humor blog is written by a conservative with a wonderful sense of humor. I've found myself laughing out loud more than once. Another blog that was nominated as Best Humor blog is written by a Korean American who shares the funny things that her mother, and sometimes her father, says.

What prompted my musing about blogs today is a new blog that I stumbled upon through one of my "favorite's list" and this blog stopped me short. The title of her posting today is "Hospice." She is fighting ovarian cancer for the third time and she has made the decision to stop chemotherapy and to spend her remaining time at home with her husband and two children. This is not your garden-variety posting. It made me pause and wonder, what goes into making a decision like this? Is she scared? I'm sure she is, but her posting seemed very calm and like she was at peace with her decision. What kind of challenges do you have to face to bring you to a point of acceptance and peace with this decision? My heart immediately went out to the woman who I didn't even know existed just moments before. I wonder how I would handle fighting cancer. Would I be a warrior? I'd like to think so. One thing I do know with certainty is that one never knows how one will react to any given situation until one is actually facing it. I pray that I won't have to face a terminal illness until my children are raised and living on their own. This woman has two children who still have a lot of growing to do. My thoughts and prayers are with her.

The Silence is Deafening

2009-01-12T12:24:00.001-08:00

I have a total of 47 students this intersession. I have 10 Thao's, 4 Vang's, and 4 Yang's. That's right, 18 of my 47 students are Hmong. They are lovely students; very conscientious, studious, attentive, and hardworking, but they just won't enter into the class discussion. I've tried everything to get them to participate, but I just get averted eyes and no response. I understand it is a cultural thing, but I sure would like to hear what they have to say. I believe it would really enrich the conversation.

This and that

2009-01-09T12:04:00.001-08:00

It's been a hectic week with the commencement of intersession; I'm teaching this intersession. It's a whirlwind. We covered 7 weeks of information in 5 days, but I far prefer this rapid and concentrated approach. I think students do far better devoting a block of time focusing on course content without the usual interruptions and interference from other courses disrupting their ability to internalize course concepts.

Chelsea has finished 4 of the required 6 hours of driver's training. It's a bit unnerving thinking of my daughter driving on the freeway or parallel parking, but she has been doing very well. Her teacher says that she tends to make turns going too fast, but otherwise her performance has been awesome (his words not mine). The next real test is allowing her to drive my precious BMW. I've very fond of it and would like it to remain intact.

Cody is officially as tall as I am, yet another unnerving turn of events. I can't say that I feel particularly authoritative looking eye to eye with my son when I'm trying to reprimand him.

I started Atkins this Monday because I've gained so much weight that I have to do something about it before I develop health issues. I've lost 4 1/2 pounds. I'm not getting too excited because the first week is always easier; it gets difficult when the weight loss slows down to a snails pace. That's the time when one's "staying power" is tested. I'm hoping to have "staying power."

A good start to a New Year

2009-01-02T14:42:00.000-08:00

I just arrived home from our 2 day adventure to Mendocino with our best friends, Greg and Mona. We had to take a bit of a detour on our return as we found out prior to leaving for Mendocino that Dan's Uncle Clyde had passed away and so I dropped Dan off at the Sacramento Airport so that he could join his siblings in flying to Oklahoma City for the funeral tomorrow, before heading home to the kids.

As I stated previously, this was the first time we left the kids on their own for a couple of nights, but in spite of some slight nervousness I knew that they were ready. We met Greg and Mona at 6 am at Morning Thunder Cafe for breakfast. Then it was time to hit the road for the long trip over the coastal range to their beautiful cliffside home in Mendocino. It was very foggy in the valley, but once we climbed the mountains we found ourselves above the fog and were greeted with wonderful sunshine. We arrived at their home somewhere around 12:30 pm. After settling in we heated up the soup that I brought from our Christmas Eve celebration as well as Great Harvest Breads. Then, without saying a word, Mona and I found ourselves sitting in our favorite spot, right in front of the roaring fire in the brick fireplace with books in hand.
We both love to read and see our time at the coast as a wonderful opportunity to get caught up on our reading. Unfortunately we also got caught up on way too much unnecessary eating and drinking. The eating was, of course, rationalized by our resolve to get back on diets on Monday.

Have I ever said how much I love my friend Mona? Well I do. She's the best friend a girl could ask for. We, as usual had great "girl talk" while Dan and Greg catered to our every wish and whim. We were both so tired after all of the Christmas celebration that all we wanted to do was sit around, read, cozy up in front of the fire, eat a little something, drink a little something, all the while reading and talking. It was the best New Year's Eve I've had in a while. We were supposed to fix a nice dinner, but when it came time all of us agreed that we didn't much feel like eating a big dinner and opted to continue grazing on high calorie, high fat foods.

Mona and Greg's sweet dog, Casey, was also part of the fun. Receiving lots of love from Mona and I, with Dan and Greg including him in on their walks and wood gathering expeditions. Finally, the guys decided that they wanted to watch The Prestige and took off for a video store in Fort Bragg. They also picked up a few items at the grocery store so that Mona and I didn't have to disturb our reading/girl talk session in front of the fire.

Upon arriving home and before beginning the movie, the guys opened a bottle of port (their favorite) to enjoy while they popped corn for the movie. Dan and I have seen The Prestige before and Dan couldn't resist "explaining" the movie to Greg and Mona with me constanting shushing him or ploring him to not ruin it for him. As is typical of Greg, about 1/2 hour into the movie we began to hear a soft snoring coming from his vicinity. We had to keep arousing him so that he wouldn't miss the movie. Like the old farts we are fast becoming, we all ended up going to bed after the movie was over, before it was midnight!!!! Here's the sad part. No one protested. We all happily went to bed and fell asleep before the stroke of midnight.

The next morning we decided to go to The Little River Inn for breakfast. It is set in the most idyllic location. I simply had to take our pics from the porch in front of the restaurant with the coast line in the background.

Mona was the one who suggested we go to The Little River Inn because she said they had the best pancakes ever. She hates pancakes, so if she likes theirs, they had to be good. It turns out that they were Swedish Pancakes and were as yummy as she said they would be.

We then drove up to Fort Bragg to see if there were any shops open, but there was only one, so we decided to head back home for round 2 of sitting by the fire and reading. The guys continued to cater to our every wish and whim. The guys also rented, Don't Mess with the Zohan, which Mona and I simply could not sit through, but the laughter coming from the living room clearly indicated the guys were loving The Zohan.

We decided that we would make the big dinner we had planned to make on New Years Eve that night. I use the term "we" very loosely because I didn't do very much to help. I washed the asparagus and cut the ends off. That's about it. Mona commenced to make her famous Honey Dijon Mustard Chicken.

Greg is famous for making very strange food combination. I don't know if he does it because he likes the attention or if he really just likes weird taste combinations. I'm leaning toward the later. Greg is the kind of guy that, more often then not, thinks outside the box. In fact, it is unusual for him to think inside the box. Anyway, he was telling us about his latest discovery; asparagus and whipped cream. We reacted with our usual, What???!!!! This only eggs Greg on, so he commenced to concoct his latest weird taste combination.

When the guys were at the video store they purchased chocolate Neccos. So, Greg took the wonderful french bread that we had been snacking on all afternoon, put a little butter on it and then place a Necco on it. Here is his latest creation.

Here's his reaction to his latest creation. He clearly is quite pleased with the result. Dan tried it and, of course, said it was wonderful. I refused to eat it and Mona just kept on cooking.

And cooking, and cooking, while I sat there drinking and eating.

While Mona was cooking the guys, without any prompting from us, decided to set the table. They put all manner of candles on the table and set to lighting them. Note the can of whipped cream on the table. This, of course, is for the asparagus. I did try this combination. Let's just say it wasn't bad. I think I'll stick with mayonaise.

As Mona put the finishing touches on her Honey Dijon Mustard Chicken, Casey waited patiently because he knew that he too would get some chicken. He knows his mother so well and she is definitely into spoiling him.

Here's the final result. That's pineapple that she topped the chicken dish off with. It was one of the best chicken dishes that I've tasted.

We finished off our day with a little more reading by the fire, while the guys did all the dishes. I didn't even clear my dish! They treated Mona and I like we were queens the entire time. We are so lucky to be married to such wonderful and thoughtful ment! Then it was off to be because we had to get up early in order to make Dan's 1pm flight to Oklahoma City, so it was with much reluctance that we bade our dear friends good-bye and headed for the airport. Based on these first few days, 2009 is looking pretty darn good.

Teenage Milestones

2008-12-30T13:49:00.000-08:00

Yesterday, my precious teenage daughter, went to the DMV, waited along with the rest of the masses, had her number called, her picture taken, written test handed to her, and proceeded to take her test. I sat on the side lines being appropriately anxious, even though I pulled off the cool and confident mom bit. I had to for Chelsea. I didn't want my nerves rubbing off on her nerves, making her so anxious that she couldn't properly read and answer the questions. When she was done she mouthed to me "what do I do now?" I responded by pointing her to the appropriate counter where she nervously handed her completed test to the awaiting DMV grader. I joined her at the counter; Chelsea couldn't look, I couldn't stop looking at he made hash marks across some of her answers. My mind started rushing, "how many can you miss before you fail? She'll be crushed if she fails. Will I be crushed if she fails? I've got to hold it together for her in case she fails. Don't be silly, there is no way she is going to fail." I think you get the picture. The DMV dude looks up and says, "Congratulations, you passed!" The relief that rushed through me was palpable and need I tell you Chelsea's reaction? I took her picture but she forbade me to post it. She was smiling very big in the picture as she held up her driver's permit.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Dan and I leave with Greg and Mona tomorrow for Mendocino where we plan to ring in the new year. The kids declined to come, so we're leaving them home alone for the first time. I'm so nervous. I don't know what about. I was practically living on my own when I was Chelsea's age, but whenever I give my kids a little more freedom it is always accompanied with a bit of nervousness. I think I've asked the entire population of Chico to check in on them, so there are plenty of eyes on them. We'll be staying for two days and two nights. We love going to the coast because we truly are cut off from most technology. Cell phones don't work, no television reception, and no computers. It's a chance to hunker down with a good book in front of the fire with one's favorite beverage close by. I so need to be cut off from the world for a while with my husband and best friends. I'll take lots of pictures. Happy New Year everyone!

Abundance comes when there are no expectations

2008-12-27T19:12:00.000-08:00

Yesterday was my birthday and what a day I had. I've come to the conclusion that when you have absolutely no expectations, that's when everything comes your way. The day began with taking Mom to our local nail salon. She got a manicure and I got a pedicure. It was so freezing out that when I placed my chilly feet into the warm bubbling water, I thought I had died and gone to heaven. Upon arrival home from getting our nails done we were greeted by my Aunt Ann and Uncle Al who had driven up for the day from Manteca. We had an hour or so to get caught up before going out to a wonderful lunch at Tres Hombres, one of my favorite Mexican restaurants. They make the best marguaritas and I ordered a grande. When lunch was done we said our good-byes to my aunt and uncle as well as my Mom. They drove her down to the Sacramento airport so that I wouldn't have to. I figured my birthday celebrating was over. It was more than I ever had hoped for, so I was good. But my darling husband had other plans. At 5 pm he arrived home with Greg and Mona in tow. I was informed that I was going to be taken out for the evening. Birthday presents came first. Dan gave me a beautiful new purse with a very nice "something" (cash) inside. He was quite generous (thanks Honey!) and Greg and Mona gave me two of the most beautiful sets of crystal earrings and a wonderful leather wallet (which I needed very much!). We had a little wine, toasted our great friendship, and then it was off to my favorite restaurant, Fifth Street Steakhouse. Once the meal of finished, they surprised me with a cake and very quiet version of Happy Birthday. We then went to Greg and Mona's house to see their beautiful newly remodeled guest bathroom and finished off the night with a little more conversation. I sure am a lucky (and slightly aging) woman. My cup runneth over.

P.S. I also have two wonderfully supportive sisters. I couldn't ask for better sisters. They know what they did for me over this Christmas holiday. I will be eternally grateful. Together we can do anything, face anything, conquer anything. Again, my cup runneth over.

Merry Christmas

2008-12-25T14:13:00.000-08:00

Merry Christmas everyone. We had our traditional family Christmas last night. It was my turn to host. Let's just say that it involves a lot of work and leave it at that. I had lots of help, but by the end of the day I'm ready for bed! We, or I should say I, had far too much to eat, but what are you going to do? Christmas time provides the perfect rationalization to let down any and all resistance to eating forbidden foods. I think a good time was had by all.

Another year older

2008-12-16T09:19:00.000-08:00

Tomorrow is Dan's birthday. We, meaning myself and the kids, plan on taking him out to dinner and then to Glenn Beck's stage show of the Christmas Sweater, which is being beamed via satellite to our local theater. I read the book and it is a very sweet and heart wrenching story that teaches the importance of facing our personal storms and the value of family and friends. Last year I took Chelsea to San Francisco to see Glenn Beck's live Christmas show and in that show he related about a 10 minute story about the Christmas Sweater. That 10 minute story made quite an impact, with Chelsea and I crying for far longer than we probably should. So the two of us are really looking forward to the full telling of this story. I hope Dan and Cody enjoy it just as much.

Blessings flow

2008-12-10T16:30:00.000-08:00

I'm done and it seems like I just started. That's the way every semester is. When I say I'm done, I mean I'm done with class meetings. Now it's the mad dash to the end with loads of grading, but my time is my own and that's the part I like. I can sit in the comfort of my recliner to grade, or I can go into the office to grade. I can stop grading to go shopping or pick up the kids. Did I mention that this is the part that I like? Well I do.

When I arrived home I had the most lovely and beautifully wrapped present waiting for me. My first thought was "Wow, Dan must have paid someone to wrap my present like that!" But upon closer inspection the gift was not from Dan, but from my bestfriend Mona. The gift label said, "Open before Christmas. Open today." How could I open such a beautifully wrapped gift. I should have taken a picture, but in my addled state it didn't occur to me. When I did open the gift I immediately recognized it. I've often admired these angel figurines that Mona has in her bedroom. I have often commented on them. She found me the exact same angels and gave them to me so that I could decorate with them this Christmas. Do I have a great girlfriend or what? While I treasure my new Christmas Angels, I treasure my friendship with Mona far more. I sure am blessed.

A man and his car

2008-12-07T17:22:00.000-08:00

NEWS FLASH: During our two day drive home from Albuquerque, I finally finished the sixth and final book in the Diana Gabaldon series. I realize that this news flash only has meaning to those select few who have been ensnared by Gabaldon's tales, but those who have I know are giving me a silent, "you go girl!" Now I am free to begin reading the growing pile of books that were in the "books to read after Gabaldon." Thanks Gail for getting me started down this road. I also curse you Gail for getting me started down this road. I apologize to Lynnie for having gotten you started down this road.

Back to our regularly scheduled post.

It is Sunday afternoon and a few hours ago Dan and I arrived home after a 12oo+ mile drive from Albuquerque, New Mexico to Chico, California. It was a LONG drive through the most ugly terrain. I'm sorry folks, but I am not a desert person at all! As I stated before we went there to see a man about a car. A car that Dan has been playing mental footsy with for a couple of years now. He finally decided to take the plunge and buy the car. So he booked the tickets, arranged for the hotel, and we were off. Upon boarding our flight, we quickly found our seats, 18E and 18F, as as we were settling in we looked up and saw a very familiar face, Lana Kramer, the mother of Cody's best friend. What was all the more amazing was that she was assigned seat 18D. What are the chances??!! I say none. We had such an enjoyable flight, getting to know each other even better and what better way to keep our minds off of any potential flight anxiety. Before we knew it we arrived at our destination. There was not much sleep to be had that night, in spite of the nice accommodations because Dan was too excited. We arose at 5:45 am and went downstairs for our free breakfast. After finishing breakfast we returned to our room and Dan placed a call to the seller of the car to confirm our 7 am meeting time. All systems were go.
Dan used this time to complete the New Mexico Bill of Sale so that upon the seller's arrival we could finish the paper work quickly and be on the road.

This is Dan's first look at his new car. I had a hard time getting a decent picture as a strange thing kept happening with the morning light causing my pictures to come out dark. There must be something about the "land of enchantment's" lighting that messes with cameras. We promptly completed all the paperwork and were on our way...homeward bound.

As we were leaving Albuquerque we were greeted with the most lovely sight of early morning hot air balloons. It seemed as if everyone had come out to say goodbye and wish us a safe and enjoyable trip home. I realize that this is a tad bit narcissistic, but I found the fantasy to be a highly enjoyable one.

The first day of driving we were able to make it all the way to Bakersfield, California. We arrived around 6:30pm, promptly found a hotel and then set off for a great Mexican dinner at El Torritos. We were exhausted after a long day of driving and little sleep the night before, so we immediately went to bed when we returned to our hotel, after calling and checking on the kids. Our kids did so well while we were gone. Uncle Fred took them to Olive Garden on Friday night. Cody and his cousin Liam rode their bikes to Bidwell Park on Saturday, whereupon Liam lost his bike chain and one of the two had a flat tire. Cody called me from the park to inform me about their disabled status. They had already called Uncle Fred to come and retrieve them, but they were clearly having fun on their little adventure.

The next morning we arose at about 7 am, got in the car, drove to Highway 5, had a little breakfast and were back on the road making great time. We arrived back in Chico around 2 pm.

Now it's time to really unveil the new car, the newest shrine, Dan's new 2001 Acura NSX!

Isn't it pretty? And the trees turning fall colors ain't so bad either.

You can tell by the smile on Dan's face that a) he's glad to be home; b) he's proud of his new car; and sadly c) relieved to no longer be sitting in the slightly snug seat. When we both got into the car for the first time, be looked at each other and agreed that our behinds were slightly too big for the size of the seats. It appears that we need to lose some weight so that we can fit in our new car. It's much easier to buy bigger size clothing, much more difficult to get larger car seats.

We're off to see a man about a car

2008-12-04T18:18:00.001-08:00

Tomorrow we're off to see a man about a car; a car that just happens to be located in Albequerque, New Mexico. We're flying out tomorrow afternoon and the plan is to drive Dan's new "shrine" back to California in time for me to make it to work on Monday. The bad news it is couldn't happen at a worse time, the end of the semester. The good news is that Dan and I finally get to have some "away alone" time, which we have had far too little of since the kids were born. Because of my admitted "uptightness" I never felt comfortable leaving my kids over night. I think since the kids were born we've only left them three times; twice for a weekend and once for an over night. I know that this probably hasn't been healthy for anyone, but my OCD tendencies just got the better of me. Dan's brother Fred has agreed to sleep over for the two nights that we are gone and they couldn't be in better hands. If you want me to get real, the kids are really old enough to spend the weekend on their own, afterall when I was Chelsea's age I was left on my own all the time. But it feels different when we're talking about my "babies." I plan on taking pictures on the road and hopefully I'll be able to post a few upon our return.

Dear Kidnapper

2008-12-02T09:08:00.001-08:00

Dear Kidnapper,

About six weeks ago, during the dark of night, you snuck into our home and took our disrespectful, negative, and mouthy teenage daughter. In her place you left a sweet, respectful, and loving young woman. I am unsure of your motivation for taking our daughter. We haven't received a ransom note or any other request to ensure her safe return. I want you to know that you can keep her. We rather like the replacement. This morning the sweet young woman overslept and with only 5 minutes to get ready for school, she rushed around the house with nary a foul word passing from her mouth, sweetly asking for my assistance, and amazingly was ready to go in that brief amount of time with a smile on her face. It truly was a miracle. I am greeted with a hug and a kiss when I arrive home. When I ask her to do things she readily complies, whistling while she works. We have grown very attached to her and have no desire to see her go. You are welcome to keep the nasty teenage girl. Consider it an early Christmas present.

Gratefully,
The happiest mother of a teenager in the world

My heart is full

2008-11-26T19:15:00.001-08:00

My heart is full right now and I consider the timing of my full heart to be quite fortuitous with Thanksgiving being tomorrow. Allow me to explain.

I just came from seeing the movie, "The Secret Life of Bees." I read the book and loved it. As you probably do, I always reserve a small corner of my heart with dread whenever I go to see a movie based on a book that I love. They rarely do it justice. I was so happy when the movie ended up making the experience of reading the book all the more glorious. If you haven't read the book, it is about a 14 year old girl, who when she was 4 accidentally shot and killed her mother during an incident where her father was physically abusing her mother. She lived the next 10 years with the guilt of having killed her mother, along with her hateful father physically and emotionally abusing her. The story takes place in the south at the time when the Equal Rights Act is signed by President Johnson. Through a series of events she runs away from home with her black housekeeper, running from the law, looking for a safe place to hide. She ends up in the home of three black sisters who lovingly welcome her into their home. The story is about how each of them enable the other to heal from the wounds that come from abuse and hate. The juxtaposition of the behavior of those who behaved in such hateful ways against the loving display of acceptance and love was stark and strangely beautiful.

It is one of those stories that causes you to pause and ask yourself what kind of person do I want to be? One that fearfully hides from life because I'm too afraid to look at my pain or it is too difficult to believe that I deserve anything better and in that muddled mess project all that fear and hurt on others by behaving in hurtful and less than loving ways. The other choice is to bravely look at the pain and the baseless belief of being of no value and to challenge it. To acknowledge and accept that I am a child of God and that I, just like you, do have a higher purpose than servicing the pain and fear. It is through focusing on my higher purpose that I am free to love and accept others, to be kind to others, and to ask where I can be of service.

I saw many parallels between the world of 1964 and the world of 2008. The groups that are divided may be different, but there is still division. I see and hear divisive things daily, be it in the media or from those I live around. I have felt the sting of judgment from others who don't even know me, but because I've self identified as belonging to a particular group, they assume terrible things about me. It hurts and it makes me feel angry. It would be so easy to fall into the trap of returning hate with hate, but what's the point? What I saw in the movie today was the healing power of quietly and courageous standing up for yourself from a place of knowing who you are; not allowing anyone else to define who you are; and returning cruelty with kindness. That's the kind of person that I want to be.

It also got me thinking about all that I have because I've faced so much of my personal pain. The full and rich life that I have today is the direct result of letting go of the hurt, facing my shame, and turning my weaknesses into my strengths. I know what my purpose in life is and I'm actively pursuing it. I also know that no matter how difficult times may become that because of my strong and loving family that we'll be able to face and deal with whatever may come our way. In fact, I'm kind of looking forward to the challenges ahead. I think we're going to become better people for it.

When I arrived home tonight, Dan and his brother Fred were here, along with my kids and their cousin Liam. I walked into the house with the most delicious smell of a newly seasoned pot of beans on the stove. My beautiful and sweet teenage daughter was happily watching an episode of "I Love Lucy" and it was my teenage son who was responsible seasoning those beans so well that we all just dove right in making tacos and listening to some new tunes that I downloaded to my iPod, while we joked and laughed and enjoyed each others company. So, you can see why my heart is so full. I hope yours is too. Happy Thanksgiving everyone.

Bella the Unexplainable Cat

2008-11-23T07:38:00.000-08:00

We have owned 4 cats since Dan and I married 25 years ago and we've loved each of them for their unique personalities. Our most recent cat, Jen, was much loved and was so special because she acted more like a dog than a cat and she was very verbal. I never thought we would be able to find another cat that came close to her special personality...but we were wrong. I don't know what gene pool Bella came from, but to call her quirky does not adequately capture the cat that she is.

First, she never shuts up. She is constantly nagging and it seems that no matter what you do it is not enough and she has to comment in some way. Her manner of meow is unusual too. It sounds a bit like an engine revving. Second, she and Cici, our dog, have a very special relationship. They truly love each other. I previously posted a video of their playtime, but they often just hang out together as this picture clearly shows.

Third, she lets you do just about anything to her. Dan will pick her up by her hind legs, with her head swinging through the air and she does not protest or try to right herself. She just hangs there and appears to like it.

She even doesn't mind when we perch a can of soda on top of her head. She held the can on her head for minutes and never once shook her head or made any move to shake it off. In fact, I was able to take several pictures. Chelsea finally removed it from her head.

Let's just say that her quirkiness has burned a very special place in all our hearts. Her very best quality is how loving she is. Without invitation she will jump into any available lap, commence to purring very loudly, and make you feel like you're the most important person in the world.

Stepping out of my comfort zone

2008-11-22T06:13:00.000-08:00

UPDATE TO THE UPDATE: The lasagna was a hit! Greg had three large portions. Mona and I had two and I'm not sure how much Dan had, but he said he really loved it. Yeah!

UPDATE: When I told Dan about my plans to cater to his vegetarian tendencies he gave me a big thumbs down. He wants meat sauce in his lasagna, so I decided to use Pioneer Woman's lasagna recipe and cut the amount of meat in half. Dan even helped in the preparation and it appears to have turned out great, but we won't know until tonight when Greg and Mona taste it. I made sure to buy those two bottles of wine when I went to the grocery store so hopefully that will help when it comes time to review my cooking efforts.

We're having Greg and Mona over tonight for dinner and when searching for something new to cook, or more accurately something NOT Mexican to cook, I visited some of my favorite blogs. I checked out Pioneer Woman and she had a terrific lasagna recipe and I thought lasagna would be a good main dish, but when looking at her pictures of preparation of the lasagna I was struck by how much meat was in the lasagna. Now don't get me wrong, I love a meaty lasagna, but I'm not cooking just for me. Dan, who is usually a very good sport when it comes to eating meals I prepare with meat, prefers non-meat dishes, so I just couldn't subject him to that much meat. I remembered reading on Lisa Paige's blog "pampered with paige" that she and her husband Stu (who is a vegetarian) tried a crock pot vegetable lasagna and she kept raving about it. Not in just one posting but several postings. I figured that if she kept thinking about it and posting about it, it must be good. When I found her original posting of the vegetable lasagna she provided a link to a blog called A Year of CrockPotting.

It doesn't look all that appetizing, actually a little bit runny, but I think I'm going to try it. I figure I'll ply them with a few bottles of wine first so that the rather unattractive appearance won't be noticed as much. Wish me luck because the only thing I really know how to cook is Mexican, but I just can't subject them to another Mexican meal.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
On a very different subject, but clearly another example of being outside one's comfort zone, I had an encounter with a student that broke my heart yesterday. He is Japanese and he has been in our country as an exchange student for 3 years. He has a very thick Japanese accent and speaks very broken English, which means that he is EXTREMELY hard to understand. He's also a bit of an odd duck. He always arrives to class 5 minutes late. He always enters the door at the front of the class, quickly shuffling in front of me as I've already started lecture, arriving at an available desk he clumsily settles in. My typical response to this behavior pattern is to say something to the student, but there was something about this one that caused me to hesitate and say nothing. I simply put up with it, but my curiosity was peaked. I immediately found out his name and started tracking his progress. It became immediately apparent that he was doing none of the assignments and none of the quizzes and exams. I don't babysit students, so if they don't do the work I don't seek them out and act like their mother. They are adults, they can make their choices and they can deal with the consequences of their choices and I treated this student no differently.

Two weeks ago he came to my office to discuss his grade, or should I say lack of a grade. When I asked him why he hadn't done any of the work, he responded that he was afraid of the computer. All of my evaluative work is done on line, therefore one needs a good relationship with ones computer to do well in my class. I wasn't sure if I had understood him correctly and so I worked very hard to understand exactly the nature of his problem. It turns out that it is not the computer per se that is the problem, it is going on line. He has a phobia. I told him that I would need some documentation of this, which he produced the next day.

He handed me a release of confidentiality form and I immediately contacted his therapist. She told me that he has paranoid ideations associated with going on line and that he has an anxiety disorder and he is currently on medication. My initial thought was "no s**t Sherlock" as each time I met with him he would be shaking and sweating, wringing his hands, and his eyes looked like a deer in headlights. Keep in mind that we are already 3/4 of the way through the semester. The Japanese student told me that he has to pass this class or he won't be able to go home. I wasn't sure if this was for cultural reasons (the whole shame thing with that culture) or academic reasons. But I was too exhausted trying to understand him at this point, so I printed up all the quizzes he missed and all the writing assignments that he missed and sent him on his way. A week ago he showed up with 11 of the quizzes completed. I graded them and he failed every one. It was clearly apparent that he was not going to be able to get caught up and pass the class. So I contacted my chair and asked if I could withdraw him even if he didn't consent to the withdrawal. My thinking was that it would be better for him to withdraw and therefore not have his GPA affected, rather than keep him in and surely fail the class. I recieved full support from my chair and the associate dean of the department.

He showed up at my office yesterday, agitated as usual. I proceeded to gently outline his two choices, stay in the class and fail or withdraw for mental health reasons. He immediately broke down sobbing. Sobbing did not help our already difficult communication. I was able to ascertain that if he failed this class or withdrew from this class that he would be sent home to Japan and he said he could not go home because his family and friends would be so ashamed. I thought, CRAP! I am the person that stands between him staying or going. I, of course, immediately wiped this thought from my mind as I'm not the one responsible for his predicament. If he had just come to me at the beginning of the semester, I could have directed him to a class that doesn't use the internet. But what's the use of sobbing over spilt suchi? (I know this is a highly inappropriate joke, but something had to pull me out of my irrational guilt and begin working the problem). I was able to find out the name of his student advisor in the International Students office. I called James and James informed me that he has been failing classes for the past two semesters and this was his last chance. He was only taking one class and that class was mine. He knew going in that it was a do or die situation and the patient is currently flatlining. The bottom line is because he will be withdrawn or failed that he will be deported. I tried as best I could to put on my therapist hat to help him come to terms with this horrible outcome, but who knows how much help it actually was. It was the most heartbreaking situation that I've ever had to deal with and I've had to deal with some pretty hard luck and tragic student situations. I sent him to talk with James so that James could begin to help him accept the reality of the situation and I plan on following up with his therapist when I return from Thanksgiving break. It was so very sad.

Counterpoint

2008-11-19T18:13:00.001-08:00

After the last rather negative tirade of my last posting regarding my work, I thought it would be good to provide a positive counterpoint. I was contacted a couple of weeks ago by a colleague who writes for the University Alumni newletter asking if I would be willing to be the subject of the part-time faculty highlight article. After asking her if she was out of her mind, to which she assured me that she was quite sane, I agreed to be interviewed with the caveat that she visit Starbucks prior to the interview so she could maintain a certain level of consciousness. Here is the result of the interview:

Dr. Cindy Selby, who has been a part-time member of the Psychology Department faculty since the early 1990s, is bringing innovation to the teaching of Abnormal Psychology. Beginning fall 2008 semester, Cindy began using a case study simulation approach to the course, in which students take the role of professionals who arrive at DSM (Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders) diagnoses applied to hypothetical patients. Students work in teams, and in consultation with Dr. Selby, to rule out competing diagnoses. Cindy terms this a “jigsaw” approach, in which student teams must work collegially to “complete the picture.” Additionally, students discuss the best theoretical approach to explain a particular disorder, and develop a treatment plan for each case study.

Dr. Selby spent much of this summer, in conjunction with her sister who is an educational consultant, developing the new approach to the abnormal course. As Cindy explains, “this is a much more active versus passive way to engage relatively large numbers of students in their own learning.” Cindy plans to continue her case study simulation approach in the future because students’ mid-term exam performance indicates it is very successful.

Cindy earned her Ph.D. in Counseling Psychology in 2003 from Saybrook Graduate School and Research Center, founded by Rollo May and Abraham Maslow. Her graduate studies focused on a humanistic curriculum, which Cindy evaluates as an “excellent experience.” Dr. Selby has taught other psychology courses in the Department including research methods and introductory psychology. Additionally, Dr. Selby has been happily married for 25 years and has two teenage children. She looks forward to continuing her teaching career in the Department of Psychology. She is committed to providing students with a meaningful and relevant curriculum. No doubt her current undergraduate students in the Abnormal Psychology course agree.

Overall, I was quite pleased with what she took away from the interview and it was nice to be acknowledged for the work that I've done. So, in spite of my frustrating experience with the group of individuals I discussed in my previous post, I am well aware that my efforts are not going unnoticed and that always feels good.

Tired of being "dissed" or "I'm mad as hell and I'm not going to take it anymore!"

2008-11-18T20:36:00.000-08:00

I'm not the type of woman who sees sexism around every corner. I'm pretty realistic when it comes to women and work. I'm well aware that the choices that I have made mean that sacrifices in the area of career must be made. I don't subscribe to the belief that women can have it all; or maybe I should say that women can have it all, but it is impossible to do it all well. There are only 24 hours in a day and to give proper time and attention to being a wife, mother, employee, and healthy human being is simply impossible. Sacrifices have to be made. So back to being realistic; because I have never been willing to be half-assed while having it all, I put my education on the back burner while I had little children. It was the best decision ever because I would never trade those early years for anything. It was simply the most precious time of my life. Once they were in school I turned my attention back to getting my graduate degrees. I took things slowly so that I was always there to take my kids to school and to pick them up after school. I had time to take them to extracurricular activities and help with homework when needed. Again, I'm so glad that I made that choice. Finally, I completed my graduate education, my kids were grown enough to enable me to work. I felt like the luckiest woman on the face of the earth. I was given the opportunity to teach at a university and I had relatively happy and well adjusted children.

With all this being said, back to the sexism comment. I realized upon returning to the classroom that I was behind those who were much younger than me and that I would never be hired for a tenure track position. I was, and am at peace with this. However, as the years have ticked by (I returned to work in 2003) I've noticed certain attitudes directed toward me that I've chalked up to the fact that I have arrived at the party a little late and I figured that with time I would earn respect based on my job performance. My job performance has been very good. I receive consistently good student evaluations as well as peer reviews. I have been approached by several faculty members on the personnel committee and have been told how much they appreciate my contribution to the department. I think I've proven myself.

Every month the Introductory Psychology instructors get together (there are usually 5-6 of us depending on the semester) to discuss textbook choice, share teaching methods, and discuss where we want to take the course. I have always taught the most sections of the class; currently I teach 4 of the 7 sections being taught each semester. In other words, I teach the bulk of the courses. I have done this for several years now, therefore you'd think that my opinion or input would be taken seriously and treated with a little respect, but you'd be wrong. The push these last few meetings is to adopt a new teaching method called inter-teaching. One of the new instructors brought this method with him from his previous university and I've got to admit that it is an excellent alternative teaching method that truly engages students in the learning process. However, it requires the instructors to grade prep guides after the first class, determine where the weak areas are and then lecture on those weak areas the next time the class meets. Here's the problem. I have over 200 students. There is no way that I can grade 200 prep guides in a 48 hour period and I was also informed at the last meeting that this teacher who is using this method has a teaching assistant who grades his prep guides for one class of 60 students. Non-tenured faculty, meaning me, do not have access to teaching assistants. Since inter-teaching is not an option for me, simply because of the number of students that I have to teach each semester I began looking for an alternative method. I spent time speaking with my sister Lynnie who is a genius when it comes to this topic and we came up with a couple viable ideas. When I presented them at the meeting I was summarily dismissed. They immediately shot down the idea and said "That will never work." They did it in such an arrogant and disrespectful fashion that I can't help but wonder why. I felt so deflated. Here I am busting my butt to try to make things better and I received only a cursory hearing of what I thought was a highly viable option. The good news is that I don't have to have their approval to move forward with my ideas. I thought it would be respectful and professional to try to collaborate on alternative teaching methods with them, but clearly I was wrong. I think what makes me different from them is that they are either married with children (their wives are stay at home moms) or single with no prospects of marriage and no children. In other words, their work is their entire focus. I, on the other hand, juggle motherhood, work, and a husband. I don't have hours to contemplate the latest research in cognitive processing. I believe the fact that I have this rich life is what makes me a good teacher. I don't believe that they respect that fact. As I stated before, I've proven myself semester after semester. My evaluations demonstrate that I deserve a seat at the table and that my ideas deserve the same serious consideration that others receive, but I don't. The only explanation that makes any sense to me is that they don't take me serious because they see me as a mom who is playing college lecturer.

They can think whatever they want because ultimately I can create an alternative method on my own, just like I did for my abnormal psychology class. My students and I will be the better for it, and they can stick it where the sun doesn't shine.

It's time for a change

2008-11-10T19:13:00.000-08:00

When things go wrong with your internet server you suddenly realize how much you take it all for granted. I turn on my computer, click a few places, and I'm able to do all manner things, the most important being my work. When suddenly and unexpectantly I turned on my computer and no longer was able to access those services. After my initial panic, I gathered myself together and started working the problem. I knew that the problem was the router, which I disconnected and head to Best Buy. I handed the broken router to the Best Buy Guy and he proceeded to turn it in all directions, carefully inspecting it with the oddest look on his face, "I hate to tell you this, but this kind of router is outdated. They don't make it anymore. You could try finding one on the internet." This is not what you want to hear when you've got over 300 papers sitting in your inbox, awaiting grading. I don't have the luxury of time to hunt for an outdated router. This meant that we would have to contact our current internet server and make arrangements for an upgrade. Last time we upgraded they charged us $150 and took their sweet time showing up to do the upgrade. Time and money were not two resources that I felt like giving to our current internet server. The Best Buy Guy then suggested that we switch to another wireless broadband company; he checked his computer and determined that we were in their service area. Off to the new internet service provider. I got an account set up, they hand me a box with a modem in it, as well as a router and it was time to hook the new system up. All of this killed an entire morning, a morning that was supposed to be dedicated to work. Before I could complete the equipment hookup it was time to go and teach a class and then pick thekids up. Once home again, I had to return to Best Buy to purchase a longer cable; then back home again to finally finish the job at about 4:30 pm. It took an entire day to restore us back to a "state of normalcy." Now all we have to do is contact the numerous businesses that require an email as a user name. Something as simple as an email address change creates a tremendous cascade of additional work. Let's hope we don't have to do this again for a very long, long time. The one good side benefit is that all those junk emails will no longer be able to find me. It feels so good to be able to start out with a clean slate. There's always a silver lining if you look hard enough.

When things go better than expected

2008-11-05T19:19:00.000-08:00

It is so strange how one day can be so sucky and the next day can be so great. Last night was pretty bad; feeling depressed and deflated. I slowly worked myself up from the dumps, expecting the day would be just an average working day, but then it turned into something much nicer.

The kids were both in pretty good moods. No verbal challenges or sparring occurred during the drive to school. I immediately headed to work. I usually return home to eat breakfast and then do some work before leaving for my first class. I went straight to work because I am a bit behind on grading and I wanted to get caught up. I was able to tie up quite a few grading loose ends before my first class.

Today was a one of those days in the classroom where everything seemed to click. I was witty, the students seemed interested, and we parted ways smiling rather than looking relieved that class was over. I went to my office for office hours and was greeted by Margaret, a tenured faculty member, who wanted to interview me for a feature article in the upcoming newletter. I chuckled and told her she was nuts and I hoped she had some Starbuck's with her for the interview. We ended up talking for the entire 50 minutes. Who knew I had so much to say and she seemed interested. She was so kind and assured me that as long as I want a job teaching I'll have a job teaching. It was really nice to hear, particularly since she is on the personnel committee. She told me that the "word of mouth" about me is great and that I'm one of the student favorites. My ego was sufficiently stroked and I felt pretty darn good after she left. It was now time to teach three more classes. Just like the first class they all went smoothly and everyone seemed to enjoy themselves and left smiling.

Time to pick the kids up from school. When I arrived Chelsea and Katelyn were there to greet me, but no Cody. I called him on his cellphone, but it went immediately to voicemail. Where could he be? This is totally out of character. I went to the office to find out if he was in detention and that was what was keeping him. It was so strange to hope that my son was in detention! But alas, he was not. I started to get worried, because school had been out for 40 minutes now. Where could he be? When I returned to the car, Chelsea was on my cell phone; it was Cody. I was so relieved that I forgot to be mad at him. He actually had a good reason for not being there. Time to go home. The ride home was fairly uneventful, which means the ride home was good. Dan came home, also in a good mood. We talked about the silver-lining of McCain not being elected. Ate a great dinner and now I'm getting caught up on email and blog reading.

I'm so grateful for days like this.

Two choices

2008-11-04T18:48:00.000-08:00

I have had to really struggle with all the feelings that have come with a McCain defeat and an Obama win. I've made very clear in previous postings how I feel about Obama. I don't trust him. I don't believe him. I don't agree with any of his policies. I fear what his administration will do to my country. But he won. He will be the president. I don't want to turn into a bitter political participant like we saw for the last 8 years among the Bush-haters. When I think of the things that were said and done against President Bush it turns my stomach. Bush wasn't a great president, but no one deserves to be treated in such a hateful manner and those who participated in such "off the wall" behavior should be ashamed of themselves. But today I understand the deep feelings of disappointment. I understand the deep feelings of anger. I understand how easily it is to slip into becoming bitter. So I have a choice. Do I now become an Obama-hater, spewing disrespectful hate filled words at him and those who support him or do I become a pro-active person who determines how I can positiviely participate in the system to fight for what I believe is right for this country? I decided to choose the later path.

What enabled me to make this choice were two blogs. The first blog is written by a woman who is a recovering alcoholic and a McCain supporter. Her blog posting focused on what she was grateful for, one of which was the bible verse, "Let not your heart be troubled..." That calmed me considerably. The second blog is written by a former Hillary supporter who crossed party lines and voted for McCain. She is a member of PUMA and actively campaigned for McCain in several different states. Her blog posting was absolutely classy. Even though she had personally been "roughed up" by Obama supporters during the campaign, she was able to take the high road, talking about unifying as a country, focusing our disappointment in a positive direction, and holding accountable the new administration.

12 more hours to go

2008-11-01T18:35:00.001-07:00

It is raining cats and dogs today. It's cozy inside and I've made turkey chili and cornbread muffins. The house smells great. Chelsea and I decided to watch the 3rd season of "24." We're 12 hours in and I'm ready to throw in the towel. But Chelsea insists that we're going to watch all 24 episodes before the weekend ends. Oh my! I don't know if I can do it, but it is so much fun hunkering down under cozy quilts with my daughter that I'm going to give it all I've got. I'm grateful for these fun times to make up for the trying times I wrote about in my last post. It's as if grace has touched me on my shoulder and said, "Enjoy it while you've got it." I plan to.

Trying

2008-10-30T19:51:00.000-07:00

Nothing really prepares one to be a parent of teenagers. In fact I think this may be the master plan because if any of us truly knew the extent of the challenge, we might choose not to have children. What makes the experience so heart wrenching is that it forces you to do one of two things; go immediately into denial and resurface when they finally make you a grandparent or take a long hard look at yourself, face your glaring faults, and deal with them. I'm trying as best I can to handle the experience with the second option, but it can be very difficult and painful at times. I never realized how easily I can become angry and yell instead of take a breath, stay calm, realize who is the grown up, and calmly speak with my teenagers. It is amazing how truly crazed I can become. When I allow myself to go there, the whole interaction then becomes about me and my poor handling of the situation, when it should be about the lousy attitude or downright disrespectful behavior of my teenagers. Maybe this is their strategy. Push my button so hard and fast that it is guaranteed to push me over the edge, loosing all control, and ultimately making it about my poor behavior, thereby justifying in some odd way their bad behavior. It's all so confusing. Is it too late for me to go into denial?

This is where having a supportive spouse comes in handy. I find that if I'm crazed, he stays calm and talks me down and visa versa. But that only works when we're both in the same location. Again, I think it is a teenage conspiracy. They seem to choose the car as the location to spring their trap. I'm trapped inside a metal box, going 65 mph (okay, 80 mph) down the highway, happily listening to my favorite talk show station and this voice comes from the back seat saying the very thing that messes with me in a tone that places the final straw in the camel's back and I'm without my reinforcements (Dan where are you when I need you the most?). Is it enough to say I'm trying? Because I really am trying; very, very hard. Thus far my success rate is about 10%, but I'm really, really, trying.

Words

2008-10-28T04:57:00.000-07:00

As I spend my second night awake after stopping the Neurontin (could I be going through withdrawals?) my thoughts continue to circle around the upcoming election. As I've shared previously, I'm amazed at how people are willing to vote for a man who wants to fundamentally change this country. I've heard people speak of Obama's ability to inspire through his words. I have to admit, he does know how to give a speech. He has been given the special talent of weaving an intoxicating, inspiring, and awe-inducing message. I remember after he gave his speech on race and his acceptance speech at the DNC how many voiced their adoration of him and their hopeful anticipation that this country was on the brink of a new age.

With only 7 more days until the election I would like to share some more of Obama's words with you. What do these words inspire? These words were spoken by Obama during a 2001 radio interview. You might say this is ancient history, much like his associations with Ayers and Reverand Wright. But I would like to remind you that we heard very similar words come from Obama's mouth just a little over a week ago, so I have no reason to believe that his views have changed.

Quotes from the transcript of his 2001 radio interview:

OBAMA: But the Supreme Court never ventured into the issues of redistribution of wealth and more basic issues of political and economic justice in this society. It [the Warren Supreme Court]wasn't that radical. It didn't break free from the essential constraints that were placed by the founding fathers in the Constitution, at least as it's been interpreted and Warren interpreted it in the same way that generally is a charter of negative liberties. The Consititution says what the federal government can't do to you but it doesn't say what the federal government or the state government must do on your behalf. And that hasn't shifted and one of the, I think the tragedies of the civil rights movement was because the civil rights movement became so court-focused, I think that there was a tendency to lose track of the political and community organizing activities on the ground that are able to put together the actual coalitions of power through which you bring about redistributive change. And in some ways we still suffer from that.

(Italics added to show my emphasis)

The essential constraints and negative liberties that Obama is referring to are the principles that guarantees the federal government will not take away your free speech, will not take away your right to bear arms and he has a problem with this. He criticizes the Constitution for not saying what the government will do for you. He wants to usher in a government that does for you and me and as you know government always does a better job than the private sector. He believes, in fact, that the government will do a better job deciding how the money you and I earn should be spent. That's what wealth redistribution is all about. Taking my money and your money, by way of taxes, and giving it to those who are "behind us" to use his words spoken to "Joe the Plumber."

I don't want to over focus on this whole wealth distribution issue, even though it is incredibly important; what I find particularly chilling about Obama's statements is he takes issue with the founding document of this country, the Constitution. He believes it is fundamentally flawed. I think the more relevant question is what does this belief mean for an Obama presidency? He wants to flip the Constitution on its head. The Constitution guarantees power to the people. The government is meant to answer to us, the people. Obama wants to guarantee power to the government which means that the people answer to the government. This should frighten us all and I am not fear mongering. Sometimes fear is legitimate and when a presidential candidate suggests fundamental change of this nature, I think it is appropriate to be fearful.

In his speeches Obama says how he wants to heal this country; who could possibly be against healing? Healing is a good thing, right? In fact I feel better just saying the word "healing." But again, I have to ask what does that mean? What I might think will heal this country may be different from what Obama has in mind. Oh heck, why get bogged down in details? It will all work out in the end, right?

Words are powerful things, particularly when you stop and look at what those words, when strung together, mean. It appears that a few people in the press are beginning to look at the meaning behind Obama's words, much to the Obama campaign's chagrine. What I think is most telling is the way that the Obama campaign is responding. The TV station in Florida that interviewed Biden regarding Obama's spread the wealth comments has been informed that they no longer have access the the campaign. This is not the first time that they have done this. Could they be telegraphing to us what they will do in the future regarding anyone who speaks out against them? Remember those niggling constraints that the Constitution imposes...like free speech. Social pressure to alter speech to conform to a particular view is called political correctness. What do you call government pressure to alter speech to conform to a particular view????

Back to the drawing board

2008-10-25T20:50:00.000-07:00

Remember how when I went to the doctor and he prescribed this drug named Neurontin and at the time the doctor assured me that there were no "real" side effects from taking this drug? Well, I'm not so sure of this assurance. I've been taking it regularly and initially taking one pill three times a day was doing the trick nicely. Almost all the facial pain went away...for about 2 weeks. Then little by little the pain started coming back. But that didn't particularly concern me because the doctor said that I could increase the dosage and increase it significantly, if need be, because, after all, it's a very safe drug with no "real" side effects. So over the past few weeks I've been increasing the dosage with last week my highest dosage being 900 mg, three times the originally prescribed dosage. This past week, even this highest dosage wasn't completely alleviating the pain. I have to admit that I began taking two Advil every day to help with the pain. I planned on calling the doctor on Monday to let him know that I had significantly increased my dosage, so that when it came time to renew it, a red flag wouldn't go off and I'd be reported to some drug agency as the latest junkie in town.

Last night, upon returning home from a lovely evening of food, wine, and friendly banter with our best friends, I noticed when I took my sandals off that there was a large imprint from the sandle and a slight bulge where the pressure of the leather of the sandal had not been. In other words, I was swollen. I wrote it off to sitting without moving for a while and possibly from drinking wine. This morning I still felt a bit swollen, but ignored it as denial is my favorite defense mechanism. However, by this evening my feet and calves felt like I had just gotten off of an 18 hour airplane flight and my hands felt and were so swollen that I couldn't remove my wedding rings. In my normal state my wedding rings are quite loose and come off easily. So I could deny it no longer. I know that edema can be a sign of a heart problem or high blood pressure. I pondered what could possibly be causing such sudden swelling. I did't feel like I had high blood pressure, wouldn't I have a headache? Not necessarily...it is the "silent killer" after all. I told myself, "you must get a grip. It's not high blood pressure. You've never had a history of high blood pressure. Think, it has to be something else." Then it occurred to me. Thank God for Google! I put in the search term "side effects and Neurontin." I clicked on the first medical journal article and what do I see listed as the #3 side effect...peripheral edema. Peripheral edema does not seem like a benign effect. I can't see any good coming from having and living with peripheral edema. So it's back to the drawing board. No more Neurontin for me. The experiment is officially over and it was a dismal failure.

Be of good cheer...one way or another we'll make it through

2008-10-21T17:55:00.000-07:00

After my last downer of a posting I started receiving these "pep" emails from my brother-in-law Earl. The good news is they worked. The first email included an article about the the lack of reliability of polls. The next email included an article about how group influences affect individual behavior and how this may lead to erroneous poll results. The next email included an article suggesting a winning strategy for "you know who." By the third email I was feeling considerably better. The fourth email was the "everything is going to be okay" even if "you know who doesn't win" because we've planned well enough to get us through the rough economic times that are sure to come. Thanks Earl. You'll never know how much your email extravaganza lifted my spirits.

Speaking of the impending doom, better known as the US economy, isn't that Barney Frank something special? Yesterday, when interviewed by one of the business correspondents regarding what's next, his suggestion of what's next is that we need to begin a major government spending program, let our budget deficit fears take a "second seat" for a while, and raise taxes on rich people because they have the money to cover these expenditures. Of course, he doesn't define who the rich people are, but I have a sinking feeling that Dan and I might be considered "rich" by Frank and the rest of the far left Democrats. Of course Barney's suggestion for what's next is right in line with Obama's "spreading the wealth around." All I can say is don't blame me when Obama gets elected president with a filibuster proof Democratic congress. They've been pretty clear regarding their plans for this country. Unfortunately, very few people are actually hearing what they are saying. They're buying the schtick of change and hope. Well we're going to get change alright! Unfortunately it's going to be change that results in small business being crushed by higher taxes, laying off of employees, more and more government intrusion in our personal lives, because after all they're spreading the wealth around. So lock up your guns because they'll be coming for those too. Enjoy talk radio while you can because the fairness doctrine is right around the corner. We opened this door when we started looking to government to solve this economic crisis by passing these numerous bail outs.

And then there's Joe Biden. Isn't he something? I guess a crisis is coming our way within 6 months of Obama taking office. I'm supposed to gird my loins, but I'm not sure how to do that. What does that mean exactly? What happened to hope and change? Loin girding does not sound very hopeful.

Disenfranchised

2008-10-15T19:02:00.000-07:00

I haven't posted for a while. I could say it is because I'm so busy, which I am. But, that's not the real reason. The real reason is that I don't want to talk about what I'm feeling because overall it is quite negative. I'd rather come up with some breezy anecdote from my life, one that puts a slight grin on your face, but I'm all out right now. I look at what is going on in our country now and I'm downright miffed. I feel as if I've gone through the looking glass and what was once up is now down and visa versa. I thought I lived in a country that prized self reliance and independence, but I stand corrected. I live in a country where everyone is more concerned about what government can do for them..."where's mine" seems to be the collective cry. I believe that we're about to elect a man who will further usher in a new socialist agenda. This is not a hyperbolic statement; instead it is a simple statement of the state of affairs. What bothers me most is that most people I see are just sitting back and taking it. There seems to be a general passive acceptance, as if this is the next natural step in the evolution of our country. There are those that are downright ecstatic about the change. It makes me sad and it is about all that I am able to think about.

Dan and I have worked very hard over the past three decades. We've paid off our house. We haven't lived beyond our means. We steadily put away money for our retirement because we know that we will never see our social security. We've taken responsibility for our finances. We never expected anyone other than ourselves to secure our financial security. But in the space of a few weeks, we've lost nearly half of our retirement. At the same time, our legislature voted for a bail out bill that commits $750 BILLION DOLLARS of tax money that is placed in the hands of the very government officials who CAUSED this mess. So, not only has the value of our retirement and our home decreased at staggering levels, but we also get to pay the bill for others who acted irresponsibly. Am I wrong to feel as if we are now living in an alternate reality? So I'm just trying to sort all this out. To come to terms that the America that I grew up believing in is now fundamentally changing. It appears that there is nothing that I can do to change it. Both political parties, which are the only current bandwagons to jump on, are so corrupt and misguided. I'd love to vote for a third party candidate, but then there is the whole "throwing your vote away" argument where there is a precident...remember Ross Perot? I feel so disenfranchised. I feel so angry. I feel so frustrated. I feel so powerless. That's why I haven't posted. Who wants to hear the rantings of a middle aged woman?

RIP

2008-10-09T18:57:00.000-07:00

Walt Barber passed away last Monday. We knew it was going to happen soon, but it is still a bit jarring when the call comes and makes the dreaded expectation a reality. I'm embarrassed to admit that when Dan told me that the funeral was on Friday at 11 am, I said, "well I can't go, I have to go to work. I can't cancel classes." Dan said he understood and that he would be sure to go and represent our family. Then, thank God, I got a clue. How could I not go and pay my respects and offer support to the family? So, I cancelled all my classes on Friday and I plan to be there and remember this wonderful man. Bruce, Walt's stepson and Dan's childhood friend, called today to ask Dan if he would be one of the pallbearers. Dan was so honored and immediately accepted. Tomorrow will be a sad day. We'll say good-bye to Walt and remember what a loving, kind, and giving man he was.

Buried

2008-10-05T19:12:00.000-07:00

It seems like it has been months since my last post. There has been so much happening at so many levels, that the sense of overwhelm is almost unbearable at times. Work remains a huge time consumer and I just finished today (Sunday) all of my grading from the past 10 days. I was literally buried under the weight of it. But I only have myself to blame for scheduling assignments as I did.

Then we have the whole economy thing. I realize that we've planned well financially for our future, but as we watch our retirement accounts become eaten into by the volitility of our economy, for the first time we are having to ask ourselves what adjustment we need to make to ensure that we'll be able to take care of the basics, like send our children to college. The psychological game that our politicians have been playing haven't helped either. They've created this environment of desperation in order to convince the American public that this $700 billion dollar bail out is necessary. I've heard numerous alternative suggestions from the brightest of our private sector business people, but I haven't heard a single courageous politician offer an alternative to our leveraging our children's future. They make my stomach turn. Our senators and representatives have just committed all of us to turning over $700 billion dollars to the very people who got us into this mess. It makes me want to scream. It is a heavy psychological and financial burden that we all must carry now.

There are also family issues, that I don't care to elaborate on that are always close to the surface of my mind.

So what did we do to lighten things up around here? We went to the movies. We saw Appalousa with Ed Harris, Viggo Mortensen, Jeremy Irons, and Renee Zellweiger (sp?). It was very good and the popcorn wasn't half bad either. Today we went and saw An American Carole. It was the typical Airplane/Naked Gun kind of comedy, but it was nice for a change to have a pro-American theme in a Hollywood production. Kelsey Grammar was great as General Patton. Trace Adkins was in it too. He played the Angel of Death and at the end of the movie he even sang a song. That was a real bonus.

Time to start getting my mind in work mode again. Hopefully this week will be a little less stressed.

Failed experiment and a last good bye

2008-09-28T17:26:00.000-07:00

Well it's been a little over a week since I started the Neurontin and I'm happy to report that my facial pain is almost completely gone. In my last posting I hypothesized that if the pain goes away, then this means that I have trigeminal neuralgia (TN), but I'm not entirely convinced that my pain is due to TN, but instead due to nerve regeneration. Here's my evidence.

Last night we went up to Paradise to celebrate our friend, Steve Arrington's 60th birthday. In attendance was one of my old high school friends, Doug Snider, who I saw about a year ago. At one point in the evening he commented, "so your facial paralysis is almost completely cleared up now?" Quite frankly I was taken back a bit by this question because I'm a realist. I know that it is still evident that I have facial paralysis, but the way he asked the question did not indicate that he was just trying to "be nice." He asked the question in ernest. So I'm left to wonder...maybe he's actually seeing an improvement because there is an improvement. Follow my logic; if there is an improvement in the movement of my face, then this means that nerve regeneration is occurring, which means that the facial pain is due to the nerve regeneration and not TN. Put it this way, I'm hopeful and I'm not willing to concede that I have TN.

Cody was home from school for 4 days last week because he had a case of the flu. Unfortunately, on Friday I started getting a sore throat and by Saturday morning I had full on body aches and a terrible headache. My nose began to run, along with the obligatory nasal congestion. Today the body and headaches are gone and I'm left with a garden variety cold. The good news is that I'm going to be fully capable of going to work tomorrow. I'm scheduled so tightly with my class curriculum that I just can't take missing a day of work. I'd rather work sick than deal with the stress of catching up.

One final note. One of the reasons that we didn't cancel going to Steve's birthday party was because of his wife's step-father Walt. Walt and Ruth Barber came and stayed with us during the horrific fires in Paradise. We were happy to provide them lodging and having Ruth here felt like having a mom in residence. She prepared meals and helped around the house. Walt is such a sweetheart and lovely to just sit and visit with. Upon returning to their home after getting the "all's clear," they kept their usual doctor's appointments and it was during one of these appointments that Walt received the terrible news that his skin cancer had spread to his bones and now it is all throughout his body. He does not have long to live. He's a precious man. Now that most of us have lost our dads, he's become a surrogate dad. So the news of his impending death is heartbreaking. Walt and Ruth live next door to Steve and Cindy, so we felt strongly, in spite of my illness, that we wanted to go up to say our good-bye's to Walt. Cindy took us next door upon our arrival and ushered us into Walt and Ruth's living room. There was Walt, wrapped up in blankets in his recliner. He barely could wake up and he mumbled his acknowledgement that we were there. But he really couldn't talk. His one comment was, "Well, I'm not dead yet." This statement was not morose, but simply a comment on the current state of things. We spent most of our time visiting with Ruth, assuring her that she and Walt would remain in our prayers. This will be the second husband that she will bury. Fortunately she has her daughter and son-in-law, along with their 3 children living next door, so they can daily love and support her through this. I'm so glad that we were able to say our good-byes to Walt and to tell him one last time that we love him.

Girls just want to have fun

2008-09-20T13:49:00.000-07:00

My two little "girls," Bella (3 mo.) and Cici (3 years) have really fallen in love with each other. In the early hours of the morning, my quiet time, Cici harrasses me to go and get Bella out of the laundry room. They greet each other each morning with a nose-to-nose bump. They chase each other around the house and the other morning I was able to catch a little more than a minute of their play time. These play sessions often run on for 20 minutes at a time. It looks like Bella is angry at Cici, as she has her ears bent back and her back is often hunched, but as you'll notice in this video, she eggs it on, laying on her back reaching up with her paws to get Cici to re-engage in their play. Cici is amazingly gentle with tiny Bella, which makes me love her all the more. When we first introduced them to each other, it did not go very well at all, so to see how they've grown to really love each other really warms my heart.

Time for an experiment

2008-09-20T13:17:00.000-07:00

I saw my neurologist, Dr. Brasch, on Tuesday this past week to get the nerve analgesic that Tadd, my brother in law, had told me about. I really love Dr. Brasch as a person. He was the first, after seeing three previous neurologists, that was a) not weird and b) willing to spend the time and educate me about my facial paralysis. I had seen him two times previous to my current appointment. The first time I saw him was about 3 years after the paralysis and all I wanted was some answers about my prognosis and to gain some understanding of how this could have happened to me. During the course of taking my medical history, I related to Dr. Brasch the 10 day episode of facial pain that came with the infection of my facial nerve, however at the time of my appointment I was not experiencing any facial pain. I was there simply to gather information.

The second time I visited Dr. Brasch I saw him because I had facial pain and at that appointment he diagnosed me with trigeminal neuralgia and gave me Tegretol to deal with the pain. I never ended up taking that medication because Dan decided to see if maybe my pain was related to a bad tooth, which turned out to be the case. I did not have trigeminal neuralgia. However, I failed to call Dr. Brasch to tell him that my problem was dental related and not nerve related.

Fast forward almost 10 years, and now I found myself sitting in his exam room again for facial pain. However, this time I know for sure that it is not dental related. Dr. Brasch goes over my previous visits with me and I inform him about the previous dental problem that accounted for my facial pain, but I don't think he really heard me. He began to ask me questions and after doing a neurological exam, he gave me his impression of what was wrong with me...trigeminal neuralgia. In fact, he framed it as a re-occurrence of trigeminal neuralgia (TN). I told him that I didn't have this condition before, that it was a dental problem. We then began to have a discussion about how TN typically presents. People with TN are in constant pain. My pain is situation specific, related to mouth movement. I suggested that this might be the result of neural regeneration and muscle cramping of atrophied muscles. He was not particularly receptive of this idea, however he did state that it was a possibility. He seemed to be pretty attached to the idea that I have TN. He immediately suggested that I take a nerve analgesic, Neurontin, which was the medication that Tadd suggested. So I decided not to challenge the official diagnosis any further, because quite frankly he was giving me the medication that I had intended on getting when I made the appointment. Basically it was mission accomplished, with a tiny bit of frustration thrown in. We exchanged a few more pleasant comments (he really is a wonderful man!), he handed me my prescription, and I was on my way.

Here's where the experiment comes in. If my pain is coming from TN, then the Neurontin should do the trick by relieving my pain. However, I'm wondering if the cause of the pain is the cramping of atrophied muscles, then will a nerve analgesic take care of all the pain? Maybe it will, by blocking the pain impulses coming from the cramping muscle. So, I decided that I'm going to follow exactly the instructions of my doctor and see if the Neurontin does what the doctor says it will do. My sister, Lynnie, sent me some homeopathic oils that are supposed to help with pain. Bless her ever loving heart, looking out for me and my aching face! But I'm going to hold off using them so that if the pain does lift, then I know for sure that it is the Neurontin, and not the oils. If the Neurontin doesn't work, then I think my next option is going to be acupuncture and the oils.

Bat Crap and Happy Accidents

2008-09-15T15:50:00.000-07:00

Saturday night I had the living bat crap scared out of me by three very important people in my life. To place the bat crap scaring into the proper context, I've been having facial pain. Eighteen years ago I had an infection in my facial nerve and as a result I was left partially paralyzed on the right side of my face (cue the violins, NOT). Gradually over these years I've regained about 60% of my facial movement back. Last January, when I started teaching my intersession course, which required talking for 4 hours straight, I started having stabbing pains on the paralyzed side of my face. We determined that the reason for the sudden and unexpected pain is that more of my nerve has regenerated and muscles that have been out of commission and therefore were atrophied were now receiving nerve impulses. When a muscle isn't used to receiving nerve stimulation and then it suddenly does, it revolts. It revolts by cramping up and if you've ever had a muscle cramp, you know how much it hurts. Anyway, since I've been back in the classroom (3 weeks) I've started having the facial pain again. I've been dealing with the pain by taking Advil. In fact, I've been taking 600 mg at a time (a total of 1200 - 1800 mg each day). Now back to Saturday night and my bat crap. I was sharing this information with Dan, Greg, and Mona and they proceeded to tell me that taking that dosage would lead to kidney failure. In fact, they told me that there was this professional football player who took 2000 mg per day for 4 weeks and he ended up needing a kidney transplant. To say this panicked me is an understatement. I really like my kidneys. I'm quite attached to my kidneys. I don't want to have to find new kidneys. But I'm in a pickle folks! I'm in pain and on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays, when I have to talk for 5 hours straight, I have a really hard time getting through without taking something to take the edge off the pain. So what's a girl to do? Finally I got a clue and called my brother in law Tadd, who happens to be a urologist, so he knows a thing or two about the kidneys and asked him if I had placed my kidneys in jeopardy. Boy I am glad I called him! He very calmly (very good bedside manner) and reassuringly told me that I probably hadn't hurt my kidneys. That taking 1200mg per day as long as I alternate it with some other analgesic, to give my kidneys a slight rest, I won't do any real damage to my kidneys. He also told me that there is a new nerve analgestic that is really good, so I called my neurologist and made an appointment to see him tomorrow.

Today I made an accidental discovery that alleviated a lot of my stress related to my Abnormal Psychology class. I've been mildly obsessed with assigning students to groups and what do I do if someone is absent from class. I've been twisting myself into knots trying to anticipate and deal with students who have planned absences (i.e., athletes) and unplanned absences (i.e., death in the family), both of which have happened in the past week. I've been keeping up relatively well with these absences. Today I received an email from a student who was supposed to present today to her group informing me that she wouldn't be able to make class. What was I going to do? Ask a student from another group to present the case? But if they did that, then they would miss out on the case being presented in their group. This didn't seem like a good solution. So, I said to myself, "what about you? Couldn't you present the case?" To which I answered absolutely. When the class started I informed the group that had the absent member that I'd be presenting the case and they seemed rather pleased with this option. I requested that I present first so that I could use the remaining time being available for the other groups should they need my assistance. I presented the case and then went on with observing and helping the other groups. I noticed that one of the groups was missing a member. I asked the group who was missing and when we determined who the absent student was, it was clear that this student a) hadn't contacted me to let me know she wasn't going to be there, and 2) she hadn't presented her case yet. I asked myself, "what would prevent me from presenting the absent student's case?" I answered myself, "nothing at all." So I presented that case as well. Both groups seemed to really like my presenting a case to the group. As a result, a light bulb went on in my head. In the future, I think I'm going to build into the schedule having me present cases to these groups. It enables me to model how to present a case in a succinct manner and it gives me time with small groups of students. I just love happy accidents like this!

Dishwashers and students

2008-09-09T12:04:00.000-07:00

You know that errant student who had a financial hold on her adding the class? She emailed me this morning asking me to send her the materials for our group work tomorrow. Let's just say that the tone of my email was not very understanding. I explained to her that I could no longer allow her to be in the class because she failed to come through as she promised. End of discussion. I felt a little biotchy, but I kind of think she deserved it.

Our dishwasher broke. Our old and faithful dishwasher of 22 years finally met its final reward and has moved on to where ever broken dishwashers go. But, it left a whole bunch of water all over my hardwood floor. For that last passive-aggressive act, I say good riddens! Here's the impressive part. Dan went to Best Buy, all on his own, and picked out and ordered a new dishwasher. He chose the exact one that I would have chosen if I had been there. He's such a gem. He knows how busy I am and was thoughtful enough to take care of things so I wouldn't have to. I think he's a keeper. I'm looking forward to starting my new relationship with my new dishwasher, but it won't be here until Sept. 30th. That's just too much time to have to wash and dry the dishes the old fashioned way, so I decided to make an additional contribution to our local landfill by using paper plates, bowls, and glasses. I know, no need to thank me.

Expect the unexpected

2008-09-08T20:20:00.001-07:00

I knew before starting this new curriculum in my abnormal psychology class that I would need to be adaptable. I even stated in a previous posting my discomfort with living with the unknown and lack on control that comes with a class depending so heavily on group work, but my goodness, I had no idea how adept I would be required to be. I stressed the first two weeks of class the importance of finalizing the class roster so that group assignments could be made. I asked in very forceful terms that if there was any doubt about ones ability to do the coursework to please drop the class now rather than waiting. Last Weds. I announced that I had finalized the class roster and if anyone had second thoughts, they would need to let me know that day that they would be dropping the class. No one spoke up, so I happily proceeded to finalize the class roster and to make the group assignments. The class count at that time was 62. This number was predicated upon one student who had been dealing with a "hold" on her registration in the class and she assured me in no uncertain terms that she would be enrolled by Friday, which is the deadline to add the class. Great, all systems were go; or so I thought. The weekend comes and I am so looking forward to relaxing and de-stressing because I really needed to after such a busy week. However, I decided to check the class roster on line to see if that student who promised to have her enrollment status cleared up by Friday had indeed come through. I wasn't particularly concerned if she hadn't as I had created templates for group assignments for 60, 61, 62, 63, & 64 student class rosters. Nothing could have prepared me for what I discovered. Not only did the one student who had enrollment issues not cleared up her status, three students dropped without telling me. If you do the math, this means that I was now facing a class roster of 58 students. I didn't have a template made up for 58 students. You might be asking yourself, what's the big deal? Just make a new template. It's not that simple. I worked the entire weekend and I was able to do the group assignments for 4 of the total 14 diagnostic categories. It takes a long time to make a template for the entire semester. My over-preparedness during summer break did little to help me with my current situation. As they say, the best laid plans...So I've learned the hard way to expect the unexpected.

Delayed reaction

2008-09-05T16:52:00.000-07:00

I realize that Palin's speech occurred a couple of days ago, but I've been so busy with work that this is my first chance to share my impressions. Remember that I had seen her interviewed a few months ago, and my first impression of her was very positive. However, I was well aware, particularly in light of the feeding frenzy in the press regarding her private life, that this speech was a "make it, or break it" situation. I was so thrilled when I heard her speak at the convention because my first impressions of her paled in comparison to my positive reaction to what she had to say in her speech to the RNC. As she spoke, I immediately felt like I was listening to an average American. She is a citizen politician, rather than a professional politician. She faces the same challenges that I do and she has no overblown sense of import that often results from becoming an elected official. But, these are just superficial observations.

While these surface impressions create a more receptive attitude, I was also pleased with the actual content of her speech. One of the biggest challenges to her nomination is her "lack of experience." In my view, this is actually a plus. I equate her lack of experience as being one of the uninitiated into Beltway politics. Her resume, however, demonstrates that she does have experience managing large budgets, dealing with complex issues associated with running a city and a state. The kind of experience that the other three candidates all lack. What impresses me most is her willingness to stand up to those within her own party and to stay true to conservative principles. I don't self identify as a Republican because I think the Republicans are as much at fault for the growth of our government as the Democrats are. That's why I identify myself as a conservative. I want my elected officials to place the people's business ahead of their personal desire to hold on to and to gain more power and influence. What I saw in Sarah Palin, as she spoke the other night, was a woman who understands that she is seeking the job of representing the people, not the advancement of herself or some special interest; she knows that the people are not gullible enough to fall for the elegantly framed simplistic campaign slogans. For example, the argument that drilling domestically isn't going to get us off foreign oil; most Americans are smart enough not to fall for this all or nothing kind of argument. Clearly we have the ability to do more than one thing at a time; let's use all available forms of energy. She has a deep understanding of the energy issues and I consider the energy issue to be very interconnected with our national security. For me, national security is number one and energy independence is number two on my list of priorities. All in all I was thrilled with her speech. She talked about the issues that I'm most concerned about and did so in a way that I can whole-heartedly support. The fact that John McCain chose her, gives me just a smidgen more confidence in his judgment. I'm still wary of him, because I think he still has some ideas that will grow government more, but when I look at what Obama has to offer; bigger and more intrusive government, I'll feel a little better about casting a vote for the McCain/Palin ticket. I wish it was a Palin/McCain ticket, but maybe in 2012 I'll have a chance to vote for her for President.

Are you getting tired too?

2008-09-02T13:40:00.001-07:00

I ended my last post with a comment about what I predicted the mainstream media will do to Palin, but I failed to take into account the universe better known as the internet. Quite frankly, if I had taken it into account I could never have predicted what would be thrown in Palin's direction. The announcement this weekend that her 17 year old daughter was pregnant led to the most unbelievable allegation. On the Daily Kos, it was written that her 17 year old daughter was actually the mother of 4 month old baby Trigg who has Down's Syndrome. That Palin faked her pregnancy to hide the fact that her teenage daughter was pregnant. It defies all logic and I think it is physically impossible. To give birth to a baby 4 months ago and then to now be 5 months pregnant. But why blur the issue with facts, let's just spew hatred everywhere. I have one question. Where are all the feminists? Shouldn't they be defending a sister in arms? Oh I forgot, she's not the right woman. She doesn't think correctly, therefore she doesn't deserve defending. I don't know about you, but I'm sick to death of win at any costs. All that matters is winning, but unfortunately in the end the American public is the loser. No wonder no good people want to seek service in the form of taking public office. Would you be willing to subject yourself and your family to such defamatory statements? I know I wouldn't.

It's a girl!

2008-08-29T18:41:00.000-07:00

Because I'm a conservative, I've not been particularly keen on John McCain. His positions on the border, global warming, and no drilling for oil in Alaska really rub me the wrong way. However, what has made it possible to still consider voting for him is his strong stance on the war and dealing with fundamentalist, extremist Islamists. Quite frankly, he drips Washington Establishment and I'm sick to death of politicians in general and their tendency to place their desire to be re-elected over facing and solving the pressing problems of this country. That being said, I was gob-smacked, in a good way, when he chose Sarah Palin, the governor of Alaska, for his VP pick. I had heard of her before. About a month ago I learned about her taking on of the corrupt Republican establishment in her state. She really cleaned house and that impressed me. I remember thinking at the time that I wished we had more elected officials like her. I realize that she is short on experience, not unlike the top of the Democratic ticket, but I'm thinking that might be a good thing. What's important to me is that those who choose to represent me hold onto core values and principles that guide their decision-making process. I want my elected officials to make their decisions based upon right and wrong instead of bowing to the interests of their largest donors, or giving into pressure from special interest groups. Sarah Palin seems to at least to have a moral compass and she's not afraid to stand up to those who have held, for far too long, positions of power. So, the Democratic Party and the liberal media will take their cheap shots at her; NBC was the first to have as a banner under her picture as she spoke this morning that stated something along the lines of, How may more houses will be on the Republican ticket? What a disrespectful and horrid thing to put on a breaking news story. NBC would never, I repeat never, treat a woman Democratic nominee that way. Instead they would be heralding the historic import of such a nomination. But, I guess it is too much to ask for objectivity and fairness from the clearly biased mainstream media.

Busy, busy, busy, happy

2008-08-29T08:40:00.000-07:00

You can guess that I've been busy. Most of my students are freshman and there's a unique kind of panic, mixed with excitement, mixed with overwhelm that emanates from a freshman's eyes and those eyes often are looking at me, asking me to "do something." Whatever that "something" is takes time and so much of my week has been herding and training freshmen in the ways of being a college student. I'm not complaining. I actually enjoy bringing some calmness to all this chaos. I feel useful, which makes me happy. Because I have an additional section, more grading also adds to the busyness. But, the good news is I'm keeping up thus far. I'm also feeling rather good because this semester I decided to really come out of the closet as a conservative professor. I share with the students my personal experiences in the university system as a person who holds conservative beliefs. Without going into great detail, the sum of my experience has been, be quiet, give them what they want, and you get to pass and get the degree. Speak up, challenge, question, means trouble, which of course is the antithesis of what education should be. So, when I introduce the core theme of critical thinking to my students I tell them how important discourse of all views is to educational process. I also share that it is imperative that we treat all people, regardless of their views, with respect and that my classroom is a safe place for challenging and questioning. In the past I have hinted that my beliefs differ from most in my department, but this time I just came out with it. It felt very good and the students were very receptive...lots of head nodding as I shared my personal experience and expectations regarding classroom discourse. All and all this has been a very busy and satisfying week.

Back in the saddle again

2008-08-25T20:23:00.000-07:00

What a hectic and busy day. It was the first day of classes. I had four today, beginning at 10 am, followed by an hour break and then one class after the next for the next 3 hours. My throat began to be horse after the second class...too much talking! The class that I was so worried about, abnormal psychology, ended up being a rather popular class. I had 16 students show up wanting to be added. I had 4 "no shows" and was able to add 9 students, but had to wait list the remaining 7. Of course there is absolutely no hope for them being added, but I thought "waiting listing" them would soften the blow. Each of the four sections seem to be fairly engaged and well mannered. I usually develop an instant dislike for one section, but thus far no visceral reaction. I realize this sounds rather cold and harsh, but what brings about such a negative reaction to a section is usually because they are disrespectful (talking to others and not paying attention) and/or generally disengaged from the process. I may be speaking too soon as I still have to meet my final section tomorrow. Hopefully I'll have my first semester where I like all 5 sections.

Cody missed two days of class last week because he got sick. Today he returned to school and was rather overwhelmed by how much work he has to make up. But he's been working steadily since he arrived home this afternoon. Hopefully, he'll catch up soon and won't feel any further negative effects from missing school.

Dan finally opened up his Christmas present from me...a camera. He uploaded the software, learned how to operate all the buttons, and charged his battery, all without any help from me. This is a truly amazing accomplishment and he deserves mega recognition for stepping out on his own. The final step is actually taking pictures and uploading them to his computer, but I have total faith that he'll figure that one out on his own as well. I am so proud of you honey!

Waiting

2008-08-19T19:53:00.000-07:00

After all the hussle and bussle of getting everything ready for my classes, I've finally prepared all that I can before classes start next Monday. It has been such an intensely focused endeavor week after week since the beginning of July, that it's unnerving having nothing left to do, except wait to see whether my mounainous efforts in remaking my Abnormal Psychology is a spectacular success or spectacular failure. There are so many variables that I just can't control and it is up to me to be adaptable enough to deal with whatever unexpected events may come my way. If you know anything about me, it is this...I like to be in control. So, this uncertain outcome is making me feel quite unnerved. The busyness of preparation served to keep my mind occupied so that I couldn't dwell on my lack of control, so I miss the busyness.

Chelsea and Cody are still adjusting well to being back in school. They both have quite a bit of homework and have been diligently working every afternoon after school. They are both taking a 7th class on line, which makes their load a little more heavy than usual. It is such a relief, however, to see that Cody is doing fine thus far being a freshman in high school. Nothing untoward has happened to him, unless he isn't telling me, but I think I would notice a change in his demeanor if anything was wrong.

I'm teaching 5 classes this semester, with a total of 299 students (that's if I don't add any students above the scheduled enrollment, which by the way I always end up doing). That's a lot of students and a lot of grading. I'm hoping that I'll be able to keep up with all the grading. Yet another thing to worry about. So it's now a waiting game until Monday. Maybe I'll get a pedicure tomorrow to keep my mind off things.

I can't believe my good luck

2008-08-14T20:13:00.001-07:00

Do you remember these pictures of my messy office mate? My OCD tendencied self has had to live with this mess and it has really gotten to me. So I wasn't exactly thrilled when I found out that not only would I continue to have him has my office mate, that yet another person was going to be added to our office. The Messy One was ordered to clean up his mess in order to accommodate the new office mate. I wasn't very hopeful. Here's a series of pictures to remind you how bad the mess was.

I went to my office today to print up my syllabi and when I opened the door I was shocked. I couldn't believe my eyes!
I realize it still looks a bit messy, but it is really an improved mess. The boxes that are to the left of his desk and under the bookcases on the right are all labeled to be taken somewhere else, so they won't be there much longer, leaving even more space.
While he still has messy piles on the desk in the corner, you can see that he emptied out an entire bookshelf and most of the mess is up off the floor. There are still a couple of boxes under the corner desk, but he has names on them, which indicate that eventually the named people will be the recipients of the boxes.
The desk against the window was set up very nicely, so I assumed that these were the belongings of our new officemate. I was surprised that he and the Messy One would be basically sharing the same half of the office, leaving me with the remaining half all to myself. But I soon found out from my boss, that when the new officemate saw the state of things, even though the messiness is much improved. He asked to be placed in someone elses office.....and my boss agreed. So even though I still have to share the office with the Messy One, I'm going to have a lot more space, so much so that I'm thinking of buying a small rug to put on my side of the office to warm things up a bit. What more could a girl want, a little clean space where she can put a rug. I'm feeling very lucky today; maybe I should buy a lottery ticket.